Young women on sexual harassment in the workplace

[Maudib]

Why is telling someone they are a crazed conservative free speech, but telling another human being you find them attractive sexual abuse?

Why do some women cry sexual abuse when a man expresses interest in her, but then complains when men no longer wish to pay for dates? They will complain that it's hard to meet men, and good men don't exist.

Why do some women claim men harass them in the workplace, yet 50 Shades of Grey sells 100 million copies?

Remember when a man wearing an earring in a certain ear was a subtle signal he was gay? Women should wear something similar to let me know they are approachable. I mean, men put out signals... they will remove their weeding ring when they are interested in meeting someone new. :P

It seems if a woman is interested in you she will say something... which of course is paramount to sexual harassment of the male. But if you so much as say "Good day!" to a woman who hasn't had her coffee yet... you may be brought up on charges.

A world where one guy has to resign his job for pretending to touch a woman's breasts, but a gay woman can almost stick her face between them and go on like nothing happened.





Total double standards.

[tyrlaan]

If you live in a country where touching people isn't shunned then it's perfectly okay to touch them without knowing them being okay with it unless you're groping them or otherwise grabbing them in places or in ways you shouldn't. Someone putting their hand on my shoulder or on my hand isn't something to react bad to.

I can totally understand that. Context is indeed everything. In this case, the context being which country you are in

[tankbug]

[Maudib]

Yep... being on a street with women now feels like being in a prison.

[Doctor Amadeus]

[IMG]

I just want to say this quote is Genius and hits the nail on the fucking head.

[tankbug]

Yep... being on a street with women now feels like being in a prison.

How hard can it be NOT to bother strange women in the streets, really?

[Schmiggy]

Why is telling someone they are a crazed conservative free speech, but telling another human being you find them attractive sexual abuse?

Because the first one doesn't threaten their feeling of safety. Seriously stupid comparison.

Why do some women cry sexual abuse when a man expresses interest in her, but then complains when men no longer wish to pay for dates? They will complain that it's hard to meet men, and good men don't exist.

Catcalling isn't an expression of interest. If you approach a woman politely, compliment her and express your interest (again, politely), then they won't complain. Oh, and timing. Use your bloody common sense and approach them when they are clearly available, i.e. not in a rush, not reading a book or doing something that requires focus, etc.

Why do some women claim men harass them in the workplace, yet 50 Shades of Grey sells 100 million copies?

Because consent. Seriously, how are you struggling with this?? They could do the weirdest and sickest crap in the bedroom, but it wouldn't matter so long as they consented. They don't consent to sexual harassment.

Remember when a man wearing an earring in a certain ear was a subtle signal he was gay? Women should wear something similar to let me know they are approachable. I mean, men put out signals... they will remove their weeding ring when they are interested in meeting someone new. :P

Or just don't be a complete dead shit. I know this one was an attempt at humour, but your other examples clearly weren't. I honestly don't understand how some people are so completely devoid of common sense and the ability to read body language.

It seems if a woman is interested in you she will say something... which of course is paramount to sexual harassment of the male. But if you so much as say "Good day!" to a woman who hasn't had her coffee yet... you may be brought up on charges.

You have to be trolling at this point.

A world where one guy has to resign his job for pretending to touch a woman's breasts, but a gay woman can almost stick her face between them and go on like nothing happened.
...
Total double standards.

I seriously hope you don't breed, or if you do, that the education system doesn't fail your kids like it clearly has you. Context. You can't look at two photos, without knowing anything about any of the people involved and what their personal relationships are with each other and then try to actually compare them with a straight face.

[Maudib]

Actually it's VERY easy these days...

But the real story is... a man can't let a woman know he's interested in getting to kn0w her, finds her attractive, would like to take her out... but there are articles all over the web for women to ask guys out and flirt:

Example: https://www.hercampus.com/love/datin...g-someone-date

Although virtual communication methods might help a lazy gal ask someone out, it can still be virtual impossible for you to get some inspiration to easily ask someone on a date. Like, where do you even start? Don’t worry girl, there are some lazy girl approved texts to send your crush:

Hey, wanna grab drinks sometime? (After all, everyone needs to drink.)
Can you bail me out and go with me to get food with my bestie and her boo thang? (Who wouldn't help a damsel in distress?)
You're hungry, I'm hungry, let's go get lunch. (Short, sweet and to the point.)
Are you my appendix? Because I want to take you out. (Who doesn't like a classic?)
Wanna go to the dog park and play with strangers' doggos? (Or you know, steal them.)
Did you want to come over to my place and eat a bunch of junk food and watch Netflix? (What lazy girl doesn't love a good Netflix and chill?)

There are enumerable articles on how to flirt, get his attention. Cosmopolitan, a leading women's magazine has this article: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love...ys-Like-Crazy/

The Secret to Getting Any Guy
A low-cut top and a smile may lure him in, but you need to appeal to his subconscious to make him approach you. These tips will help you attract hot guys like crazy— even the ones you thought were out of your league.

It seems it's OK for a woman to go out of her way to get attention of a man... but if she should happen to get the attention of someone she wasn't "aiming for"... God help him (or a lawyer at least). What happened to that elusive equality some women seem to be advocating for?

It's no wonder the MGTOW movement is growing so rapidly... (look it up.. very interesting)

[tyrlaan]

Actually it's VERY easy these days...

But the real story is... a man can't let a woman know he's interested in getting to kn0w her, finds her attractive, would like to take her out... but there are articles all over the web for women to ask guys out and flirt:

Example: https://www.hercampus.com/love/datin...g-someone-date

Although virtual communication methods might help a lazy gal ask someone out, it can still be virtual impossible for you to get some inspiration to easily ask someone on a date. Like, where do you even start? Don’t worry girl, there are some lazy girl approved texts to send your crush:

Hey, wanna grab drinks sometime? (After all, everyone needs to drink.)
Can you bail me out and go with me to get food with my bestie and her boo thang? (Who wouldn't help a damsel in distress?)
You're hungry, I'm hungry, let's go get lunch. (Short, sweet and to the point.)
Are you my appendix? Because I want to take you out. (Who doesn't like a classic?)
Wanna go to the dog park and play with strangers' doggos? (Or you know, steal them.)
Did you want to come over to my place and eat a bunch of junk food and watch Netflix? (What lazy girl doesn't love a good Netflix and chill?)

While some of those are cheesy enough to never be used by anyone, there is something wrong with how you do things if you think "hey wanna grab drinks sometime" is something you can't do without getting in trouble. Granted context can change everything, but there's nothing inherently problematic with asking that question. So either you're just trolling in this thread or you need to reevaluate how you approach interactions with people to figure out what you are doing to creep people out.

It's no wonder the MGTOW movement is growing so rapidly... (look it up.. very interesting)

Sounds like what sexist dudes do when they decide they'd rather not realize they're jackasses but also are sick of getting in trouble for their shitty conduct. No, not very interesting at all really.

[Maudib]

Because the first one doesn't threaten their feeling of safety. Seriously stupid comparison.

Catcalling isn't an expression of interest. If you approach a woman politely, compliment her and express your interest (again, politely), then they won't complain. Oh, and timing. Use your bloody common sense and approach them when they are clearly available, i.e. not in a rush, not reading a book or doing something that requires focus, etc.

So a man saying "Hey beautiful..." threatens a woman's safety? Does it make a difference if Mr. Bean says it over say, Brad Pitt?

If you approach a woman politely? You mean like this?


Who actually is threatening in this video?

Consent? So a guy, seeing a woman who he finds very attractive should approach her and say something like:
"Hi, I am open to meeting you and would like to pay you a compliment in order to signify my interest. However, I certainly would not want to overstep my welcome. Might I pay you a compliment, or should I continue on my way after begging your forgiveness?"

[tankbug]

Why is telling someone they are a crazed conservative free speech, but telling another human being you find them attractive sexual abuse?

Because the people who called you a crazed conservative online don't pose a potential threat to you, whereas you making advances on strangers make them feel unsafe and uncomfortable. You must see this difference.

Why do some women cry sexual abuse when a man expresses interest in her, but then complains when men no longer wish to pay for dates? They will complain that it's hard to meet men, and good men don't exist.

Do you really think a majority of women are like that? But at any rate, those things aren't same only opposite. Most women don't like getting this kind of attention by strangers in the street. But they aren't complaining that strange men in the street aren't taking them out on dates either. This isn't a one-dimensional thing.

Why do some women claim men harass them in the workplace, yet 50 Shades of Grey sells 100 million copies?

Why do people say that they hate war and killing, but violent movies and video games?

Remember when a man wearing an earring in a certain ear was a subtle signal he was gay? Women should wear something similar to let me know they are approachable. I mean, men put out signals... they will remove their weeding ring when they are interested in meeting someone new. :P

People, and probably especially women, don't want to be approached by anyone walking the streets. That's why we have dating apps/sites. They can pick out a few candidates and see if there is any reason to take it further.

It seems if a woman is interested in you she will say something... which of course is paramount to sexual harassment of the male. But if you so much as say "Good day!" to a woman who hasn't had her coffee yet... you may be brought up on charges.

That's paranoid, unless you're acting like a real creep. At any rate, women are more bothered than us, because they know that they're probably defenseless if the guy is a few notches worse than jus a creep.

A world where one guy has to resign his job for pretending to touch a woman's breasts, but a gay woman can almost stick her face between them and go on like nothing happened.

Well, she's not touching her breasts, and this could also just be a one second thing. Franken took it a step further than that. His actions in the past would make it difficult for him to to do his job with trust and confidence required. At any rate, if Sandi Toksvig grabbed the boobs of some random woman, even though it was a "joke", I'm sure it would jeopardize her career.

[MatadorMedia]

Interesting that our politically correct culture still accepts male-on-male rape jokes as humorous. And that rape in prison is still widely accepted as an appropriate part of punishment for any crime. Also, this joke insinuates that males don't sexually harass or rape other men OUTSIDE prison, when they most certainly do. The strong majority of male-on-male rape is perpetrated by heterosexual males, and wayyyyyy more stigmatized to report than male-on-female rape. FYI.

[PassingBy]

And then they will be surprised that noone wants to hire women huh.

I mean if someone at work, no matter a girl or a guy will tell me "hey, nice ass" depending on who that is i would ignore it, say something back, say a joke and forget about it.
And it is quite common for people where I work to joke around with eachother, call eachother names etc. And luckily for us the ladies that work here are not the special snowflakey type, and if someone says something inappropriate - they usually just fire back. Or, you know, just say "Hey dude, that was not ok, don't say that kind of thing anymore" usually that is all that it takes to stop. Since noone needs drama at their workplace.

But I guess we are all just kinda conservative out here, and we should just fire all the men for being the pigs that they are.

[Kathandira]

Interesting that our politically correct culture still accepts male-on-male rape jokes as humorous. And that rape in prison is still widely accepted as an appropriate part of punishment for any crime. Also, this joke insinuates that males don't sexually harass or rape other men OUTSIDE prison, when they most certainly do. The strong majority of male-on-male rape is perpetrated by heterosexual males, and wayyyyyy more stigmatized to report than male-on-female rape. FYI.

I took this quite differently.

"And that rape in prison is still widely accepted as an appropriate part of punishment for any crime"

Not how I see it. I took the comment as using this as an example because of how horrible it would be. Not that it is acceptable, but that it is incredibly frightening.

I would personally not want to be raped at all, but it would be far worse for me if it was done by a man. Which is what I think the joke is trying to convey. It is an attempt at putting the audience in the shoes of women to get a sense of how powerless and defenseless they may feel in sexually intimidating situations.

[Maudib]

Interesting that our politically correct culture still accepts male-on-male rape jokes as humorous. And that rape in prison is still widely accepted as an appropriate part of punishment for any crime. Also, this joke insinuates that males don't sexually harass or rape other men OUTSIDE prison, when they most certainly do. The strong majority of male-on-male rape is perpetrated by heterosexual males, and wayyyyyy more stigmatized to report than male-on-female rape. FYI.

Very good points. Rape is a horrible thing, regardless of who the victim is. To approach a woman and tell her you find her attractive and perhaps ask her for a date isn't rape, nor is it sexual assault... although some will say it is. It MAY be unwlecome.. in which case it can be stated as such and should be left at that.

But to think accusing men of sexual assault for simply expressing his interest in a woman is going to stop actual rapists, is ludicrous. It's like thinking stopping law abiding citizens from owning a gun will prevent criminals from getting them and killing people is in any way a rational thought.

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I would personally not want to be raped at all, but it would be far worse for me if it was done by a man.

Careful, your homophobia is showing Mr. White Knight. If you truly understood rape, you would understand they are completely equal.

[Schmiggy]

So a man saying "Hey beautiful..." threatens a woman's safety? Does it make a difference if Mr. Bean says it over say, Brad Pitt?

Context and timing. There's also the fact that many men (no, not all, don't bother replying with that) respond aggressively to rejection which does threaten a woman's safety. Women have absolutely no way of knowing in advance what type of guy you are and how you'll respond. Which is why you use common sense, approach women in a place that they feel comfortable and safe (by reading their body language, and again, common sense) and don't be a creep about it. Or you know.. out at a bar/club where people go expressly to socialise and/or meet people. And keep your hands to yourself.

If you approach a woman politely? You mean like this?
Who actually is threatening in this video?

You have to be trolling. You posted one extreme example of a crazy person and then somehow extrapolate that to all women?? And that's a rational/logical train of thought for you? Or..?

Consent? So a guy, seeing a woman who he finds very attractive should approach her and say something like:
"Hi, I am open to meeting you and would like to pay you a compliment in order to signify my interest. However, I certainly would not want to overstep my welcome. Might I pay you a compliment, or should I continue on my way after begging your forgiveness?"

You're deliberately being obtuse. You know full well it's not that complicated, and as I said in my previous reply (which you ignored), CONTEXT and TIMING. Don't approach someone when they are clearly not open to it (body language). Unless you were raised in a bunker, then I can't understand how your social skills and ability to read body language is completely absent.

[Kathandira]

Careful, your homophobia is showing Mr. White Knight. If you truly understood rape, you would understand they are completely equal.

Was the insult necessary? I wasn't rude or anything to you. That was very uncalled for.

[Maudib]

Was the insult necessary? I wasn't rude or anything to you. That was very uncalled for.

Perhaps it was more of a window into your argument... and an opportunity to self reflect on how your statement actually was demeaning to women without your intending it that way. Reversing what you said, you would prefer being raped by a woman than a man because it is far less worse.. I doubt, if you gave it all more thought, you would actually think that.

[Schmiggy]

I mean if someone at work, no matter a girl or a guy will tell me "hey, nice ass" depending on who that is i would ignore it, say something back, say a joke and forget about it.
And it is quite common for people where I work to joke around with eachother, call eachother names etc. And luckily for us the ladies that work here are not the special snowflakey type, and if someone says something inappropriate - they usually just fire back. Or, you know, just say "Hey dude, that was not ok, don't say that kind of thing anymore" usually that is all that it takes to stop. Since noone needs drama at their workplace.

But I guess we are all just kinda conservative out here, and we should just fire all the men for being the pigs that they are.

And what exactly do you think would happen to one of the women in that workplace if they didn't laugh along with the joke? Don't confuse going along with the joke as actually finding it funny and/or appreciating comments like "hey, nice ass". Women feel like they can't speak out against comments and jokes like this because guys like you call them "special snowflakey types". Saying "that's not ok" still runs the risk of social isolation and bullying just because she didn't appreciate a tasteless "joke".

It's very easy for guys to say, I would ignore it or say something back because we aren't faced with anywhere near the level of harassment women are on the daily.

[Kathandira]

Perhaps it was more of a window into your argument... and an opportunity to self reflect on how your statement actually was demeaning to women without your intending it that way. Reversing what you said, you would prefer being raped by a woman than a man because it is far less worse.. I doubt, if you gave it all more thought, you would actually think that.

From what I gather on these forums, and talking to men in the real world, more men are more intimidated by men than women. The idea of being forced against my will by an average sized man is more frightening to me than an average sized woman. If I were attacked by an average sized women I might be able to defend myself. But it would be more likely that an average sized man could be stronger than me, or just enough of a struggle to where I cannot defend myself.