Originally Posted by
Guchie
So I'm going to lay this out for you in some cold hard facts but end it with some "here's how to get better".
Facts:
If she told you its temporary it's cause she wants to keep you on a string, she likes you, thinks your wonderful, but wonders "can I do better?" Thats what this guy is, he didnt just phase out of no where, she bumped into him getting coffee and said "holy shit, I just met you, lets start dating". This guy was lined up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's very likely. It doesnt make you a better or worse person than a month ago, it's just how messed up we are as people.
Don't talk to her about it, she doesn't care right now, at least not in the way you want her to, right now you are like a puppy or a kitty, she doesnt want to see you hurt, but she isn't going to run back into a relationship cause you're all teary-eyed right now. We are stupid creatures sometimes, your relationship end hurts cause thats your lizard brain telling you "your chance at a relationship, and a child, are vanishing RIGHT NOW, FREAK THE F OUT". But it's not, there is a saying, "if you want to get over someone, get under someone else." and it's true, real talk, go on a date, doesnt even have to a good one, just go on one so you can see that the dating pool isnt dry and there is someone else.
Ok, now on to what to do.
This is the basic advice you give to anyone after a break.
1. Cut contact, if she's on facebook, drop her, block her, delete facebook, whatever just dont talk to her. If you HAVE to talk to her, make it professional like a work meeting.
2. Get off social media for awhile. No twitter, no facebook, no nothing, especially if you're friends, you're going to see pictures of her happy and moving on, that will totally mess with your head, just step away from it.
3. Pick up a hobby. Read some books you havent had a chance to read, learn to paint, take up clay sculptures, doesnt matter, pick up a hobby that interests you and do it. Hiking, biking, competitive running, writing, whatever it is, something to fill your time.
4. Go to the gym. This is kind of important, and if you already do, go a bit more for awhile. Accomplishments boosts your self esteem. You're probably feeling down on yourself and it's silly, cause you're the same awesome guy you were 2 weeks ago. So do something, accomplish something. If you do lift, try and lift a bit more, hit a new best. If you dont lift, start lifting. If you dont gym at all, start going, lift a bit, do some cardio, set a goal and hit it, make a new goal, hit that, do it over and over again, just keep hitting those goals.
And that's it, keep busy, avoid contact, better yourself, focus on you and the rest of the stuff will work out on its own. Chin up, it gets better, you'll get better, and you deserve better.