Is it cheap to want to split or pay each for themselves on dates?

[pateuvasiliu]

I like to pay the full bill, but it's alright to split if the girl proposes it. It's also fine if she pays from time to time, but again, only if she proposes it.



I'm not sure who comes off as beta here, really. You're the one objectifying women when you're suggesting paying the bill for her means paying for her time. That's what's pathetic.

It's precisely what it is, when you get called cheap otherwise. That's what it means, that a man has to spend on a woman to be worth of her time. Adhering to this notion makes you a Beta Bucks with no self respect.

Countless other dudes have fucked that girl for free, while you pay for a chance at it. It's pathetic. Are you inferior to those dudes? Do you need to pay to even have a chance at being at their level?

Grow a spine.

Oh and paying for a woman as if they aren't full citizens with the right to work is objectifying.

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Why not let her pay for it? It's 2017 and women want to be treated equally, so they will have no problem with picking up the tab!

No, they don't.

If Bob has 2 apples and 3 pears and Mary has 3 apples and 2 pears, she wants 3 pears, but she'll say nothing of the apples. That's what feminism has ALWAYS been.

[Airlick]

It's precisely what it is, when you get called cheap otherwise. That's what it means, that a man has to spend on a woman to be worth of her time. Adhering to this notion makes you a Beta Bucks with no self respect.

Countless other dudes have fucked that girl for free, while you pay for a chance at it. It's pathetic. Are you inferior to those dudes? Do you need to pay to even have a chance at being at their level?

Grow a spine.

Well, it's pretty clear what kind of girls you aim for and what your relationships are like. In your case you should by all means think about your money first and split the bill, since you may not see her again. I don't use Tinder, and I don't start dating before I think a girl is attracted to me, so when I do, I'm pretty sure it will go past the few initial dates. It always does. It never occured to me that I'd have to be the one paying constantly, it was two times at most, at which point we'd always end up splitting or just paying in turns.

[Deleted]

Where does the idea come from that a man has to "earn" a women by paying for everything?

What makes women so special compared to men? Nothing, that's what. Problem is that too many Beta men think it's the route to getting a girlfriend and by doing so they mess up the worth of all men.

[pateuvasiliu]

Well, it's pretty clear what kind of girls you aim for and what your relationships are like. In your case you should by all means think about your money first and split the bill, since you may not see her again. I don't use Tinder, and I don't start dating before I think a girl is attracted to me, so when I do, I'm pretty sure it will go past the few initial dates. It always does. It never occured to me that I'd have to be the one paying constantly, it was two times at most, at which point we'd always end up splitting or just paying in turns.

Of course it does, who would say no to free shit?

we'd always end up splitting or just paying in turns.

So you took her for a drive test and paid her for it.

You had to pay on two dates to show her that you're worth dating properly. Who wears the pants? Not you.

[turboether]

I'm not sure who comes off as beta here, really. You're the one objectifying women when you're suggesting paying the bill for her means paying for her time. That's what's pathetic.

Some of the more honest women in this thread who are for the man paying the entire bill heavily imply that if he doesn't he isn't worth their time. They are objectifying themselves? It is a fairly shallow qualifier to demand tribute for consideration, but it's their prerogative I guess.

[Azmoden]

According to common sense, no it isn't cheap.

According to women, yes it is.

Proof that women lack common sense? You decide.

[pateuvasiliu]

Where does the idea come from that a man has to "earn" a women by paying for everything?

What makes women so special compared to men? Nothing, that's what. Problem is that too many Beta men think it's the route to getting a girlfriend and by doing so they mess up the worth of all men.

Ironically women outnumber men.

[Deleted]

Ironically women outnumber men.

But fewer than ever "need" . a man though, since women are often higher educated, have better salaries/careers, can get a baby without a guy now etc.
So all that's left are the women that either can't or wont take care of themselves.

[pateuvasiliu]

But fewer than ever "need" . a man though, since women are often higher educated, have better salaries/careers, can get a baby without a guy now etc.
So all that's left are the women that either can't or wont take care of themselves.

Fewer men than ever need women too, which is why you see a lot of them single. Furthermore, since you no longer have lynch mobs for absentee fathers, you see a lot of single moms who can't get a partner because most men aren't willing to raise another's kid.

[shadowmouse]

This has nothing to do with being incorrectly perceived as privileged or a culture clash.

You are trying to see the world through your set of filters as if those are the only ones that exist or count, and that just isn't so. The difference between Asian culture and Western culture is well documented -- take your pick of Hall's high context vs low context or the Lewis model. Check various studies such as those cited by Nesbitt or even Willingham and you'll see that this extends to how problem solving is approached, even brain activity or eye motion. Notice a pattern in the discussion -- the two women you're quoting -- Asian, living and dating in Asia. Whole different environment, expectations, and rules. Statistically, if you are shown the same picture as they are, your eyes will focus center foreground to the outside of the picture, theirs will do the opposite, and each group will describe the picture in roughly the same pattern that they viewed it. That's how basic the differences are, it isn't just Kipling's East is East and West is West.

[Zuben]

Pay for what you consume. At least in Finland it's easy, since waiters always ask how the bill is split before presenting it. Our dating culture supports it too, at least by my experience.

[pateuvasiliu]

You are trying to see the world through your set of filters as if those are the only ones that exist or count, and that just isn't so. The difference between Asian culture and Western culture is well documented -- take your pick of Hall's high context vs low context or the Lewis model. Check various studies such as those cited by Nesbitt or even Willingham and you'll see that this extends to how problem solving is approached, even brain activity or eye motion. Notice a pattern in the discussion -- the two women you're quoting -- Asian, living and dating in Asia. Whole different environment, expectations, and rules. Statistically, if you are shown the same picture as they are, your eyes will focus center foreground to the outside of the picture, theirs will do the opposite, and each group will describe the picture in roughly the same pattern that they viewed it. That's how basic the differences are, it isn't just Kipling's East is East and West is West.

I think it's safe to say most posters here are Western.

[Lochton]

Is it cheap to expect that people will split or pay for themselves when you're dating? I was called cheap for suggesting splitting the bill. Is it actually cheap?

Yes, unless you made previous agreements. It should normally be the one who invites that was to pay - in my opinion.

[ls-]

I think it's safe to say most posters here are Western.

Yeah, but there's a huge difference even among Westerners. It's quite common for let's say Germans, Norwegians to split the bill, whereas Americans are quite traditional in this regard and think that men should pay for the date.

As I commented earlier in this thread, it's quite entertaining to watch how American women are trying to date Euro men, but then this cultural clash happens, many can't handle it and start dating men from more traditional societies, like other Americans, Asians, Russians. Others decided to give in and start paying for themselves.

It's also funny to listen to them judging each other.

[Airlick]

Of course it does, who would say no to free shit?



So you took her for a drive test and paid her for it.

You had to pay on two dates to show her that you're worth dating properly. Who wears the pants? Not you.

Do you ever think about anything other than money? Well, money and sex, maybe. You seem very fun to be around, mister Alpha.

[pateuvasiliu]

Do you ever think about anything other than money? Well, money and sex, maybe. You seem very fun to be around, mister Alpha.

Ah yes, you have no arguments so you resort to ad hominem. Not gonna' entertain that one.

[Hanto]

My girlfriend of several years and I share in paying the bill based on whoever suggests on going out. We live together and generally plan meals together but sometimes one of us is craving Thai or sushi and is willing to pay for the other's meal if it means we can go out together and enjoy it. I don't think it's cheap if you want to split it, but I do feel like it's circumstantial on when you should do it (agreed upon, who is inviting who, where you are in a relationship, etc).

[pateuvasiliu]

Pay for what you consume..

It's hilarious how a man is cheap for not paying for a woman's food but a woman not paying for the shit she bought and ate is seen as normal.

Like.. do some people even logic?

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My girlfriend of several years and I share in paying the bill based on whoever suggests on going out. We live together and generally plan meals together but sometimes one of us is craving Thai or sushi and is willing to pay for the other's meal if it means we can go out together and enjoy it. I don't think it's cheap if you want to split it, but I do feel like it's circumstantial on when you should do it (agreed upon, who is inviting who, where you are in a relationship, etc).

This who invites who thing is nonsensical. Men invite women out in the overwhelming majority.

No, everyone pays for their own shit unless the one who invites announces it's their treat.

[Airlick]

Ah yes, you have no arguments so you resort to ad hominem. Not gonna' entertain that one.

I'm not going ad hominem. Your every post is "beta, money, beta, paying for company, beta, money". There are no arguments in your posts.

[Freighter]

Ah yes Freighter the same bitch who replied to another post like a month ago about what qualities you look for in someone & some of those qualities are that he's able to support you and he's "not poor". Yeah, you are truly a piece of crap gold digger.

You haven't really though your post through, did you? If I'm a gold digger for wanting a man of similar status as me, what does that make the poor men who want to date someone with higher status than them?

It actually is entitlement if you think he owes you anything just because you go out on a date

I don't think they owe me anything. I set a standard I expect men to to reach to be worth considering dating, doing so in regards to money is not much different than doing so in regards to looks or personality. They're free to not want to date me if they can't pass my bar set.