I was raised with the mantra "The gentleman always pays". Guys, well... lets be honest, fuck boi's are staunchly against being gentleman because they are assuming sex is the reward for treating a woman like a lady. Essentially it is the mindset that if you pay and aren't rewarded with sex then you should avoid paying or being a gentleman. People that suggest the bill be split aren't in a relationship or on a date, they're friends, that is all. Most who exhibit the behavior still fully expect sex as a reward for the date, but they don't stop to think that is a bit hypocritical of them. Being more concerned about the split of the check than that of the conversation and the feelings of the individual you're on the date with is a problem.
Now I get it, blah, blah, equality, blah, blah, men's rights, blah, blah societal norms. It doesn't matter, if you aren't willing to even pay the check for your date then you don't deserve to expect sex, also you do not deserve to think about starting a family if that is an expectation. At some point she will become pregnant, and you will be standing around bitching about who will pay her half of the bills while she is in labor.
Other: I discuss this beforehand--offer to pay for the whole meal, see what they think, and either we can go Dutch or one or the other will pay for the meal. Like just about everything else in a relationship, communication is key.
Be seeing you guys on Bloodsail Buccaneers NA!
I read it, I'm just trying to make you see the flawed logic. It's up to the man to prove to you that he's worth dating.
This means the status isn't equal.
If you're only willing to pay for yourself after the first few dates, those first few dates are like a drive test the man has to pass to date you. It's wonderful that you think you're so important others should prove their worth to you, but no self respecting man is going to treat a woman as his greater. We call those betas, or cucks, because they always end up turned into a door matt later into the relationship or cheated on. They need to pay, to impress you, to jump through hoops to prove that they're fuckable material ( ironically it has the opposite effect )
Meanwhile, the men who respect themselves pay nothing and get laid.
It really depends at which stage you are.
My opinion:
If it's initial dating before becoming official couple, then it's on a guy 100%. It's just what I believe is right and a guy should at the very least be capable of shouldering reasonable dates for the lady.
After you become couple and are some time together you can decide to split or switch each other time, at that point you are probably looking forward to living together and it will be split effort anyway in one capacity or the other.
I have somewhat conservative views on such things and ultimately I believe paying for dates is not a big deal, but goes a long way towards how your interest perceives you.
The beta hamster wheel at work, making himself think you need to pay a woman to have sex with her.
Boy oh boy will your tune change when she leaves you for a real man.
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I'll admit I generally have trouble understanding people who put pants on their head.
My brain is made for logic. It gets blue screens when there's none involved.
The point is that you expect the man to prove himself to you. It should be a two way street. You pay for yourself, he pays for himself.
Infracted
Last edited by Jester Joe; 2018-01-02 at 05:47 PM.
This isn't going anywhere folks...you are not changing anyones mind over the internet.
Also, what are the odds of an actual asian woman being here...get real ppl.
Or... it's just common courtesy and not being cheap over what is pittance really. Betas? Cucks? Getting laid? Sounds like some teen angst over nonsense right there.
In my view "betas" and "cucks" are those that count pennies over fucking restaurant meal. One of my friends I know is like that and it is seriously miserable.
Last edited by Gaidax; 2018-01-02 at 03:27 PM.
Poll result is hilarious. This forum is the last place you should be asking for dating advice.
Ah yes, marriage is the only way in life. Don't forget, kids, Satan will get you if you bang before the wedding night.
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Okay, so why is it that the man has to pay if you date to spend time with the other person? Common courtesy is that you're an adult and you pay for yourself.
A couple of points:Originally Posted by Mehrunes
I've brought up high context and low context to comment on @Frieghter and @Katie N 's posts. As I noted in the language you quoted, the difference carries over into things as seemingly unrelated as where a person's eyes focus, or in the case of another study which areas of the brain are more active in solving simple math problems. Of course that's going to influence their response. You can see it clearly in the posts where Freighter, for example, puts greater emphasis on what her existing network of friends and family think of her.
As far as the larger question you raise -- does high context/low context apply to who pays -- you seem to be disregarding the tendency of low context to see things more in terms of individuals, while high context sees things much more in terms of groups and relationships. While Western Slavic countries may be more high context when compared to Europe, they are still far short of what you'll encounter in China, Singapore, South Korea, or Vietnam. Your choice of "grew out of it" to describe the difference seems to indicate a bit of cultural bias in your appraisal as well.
The original post was written without proper context. He is dating in Taiwan -- high context, appearances count, mianzi matters. The woman in question is living in Taiwan, and was raised mainly in Japan -- both also high context. In terms of the original post, these things definitely matter.
With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.