Ridiculous things you thought as a child

[ls-]

I was convinced that men and women come from different planets/worlds because my parents often spoke different languages when they weren't talking to each other, each of them talked to me in their native tongues.

Later I found out that my family was weird, that's a shock >_>

[Theoris]

I thought:

-inanimate objects could come to life, so whenever I dunked my head on a shelf I'd say "good punch" so it wouldn't be offended and beat me up

-the vagina and anus were connected (like if you stuck something in one end it would come out the other)

-if I locked myself in a closet, went into a fetal position, shut my eyes, clenched my fists, and concentrated really hard I would somehow gain superpowers

-if you ate seaweed you'd turn into an octopus


There are definitely other pearls that I can't recall as of right now, but the point is I was a real brick when I was a kid.

- - - Updated - - -

My brother and I were convinced, by our father, that eating carrots would immediately improve eyesight. So we'd run upstairs after eating them and see how much further out the window we could see.

That's actually kind of adorable.

[Ehrenpanzer]

1. You could drive to England from America ( I was told there was a really long bridge)
2. Babies were grown in a cabbage patch and you went to the hospital to collect them (obviously the doctor had to check them before they would let you have them ^_^ )
3. That religion was real
4. When a magician made something disappear, it was really gone.

[Happy Shoplifter]

Whenever I found an old key it would be the key to a treasure chest or a door to a magical world.

[Chasavaqe]

I legitimately thought that animals could communicate, in full, precise language, to one another in a language that humans didn't understand. Thanks, Dr. Dolittle and the Wild Thornberrys.

[Super Kami Dende]

Taht touhcing my Penis woudl mkae me go Bilnd.

[3DTyrant]

I used to think that if you pressed the stop button on a bus more than once, that means you want to get off in 2 or more stops, rather than the next stop and the second+ ding does fuck all beyond be annoying.

[kail]

I girl flashed her vagina at me when I was 7, it deeply disturbed me and may explain my aversion to vagina now lol

It was simply my cousin's magazines when I was 6ish. I saw naked women lacking a weiner and assumed they simply didn't pee. That and noticing the ladies room lacked urinals was probably further evidence.

[Travis B]

I remember thinking that oil came from dinosaurs' dead bodies, because that's what a teacher taught us in school.

[Techno-Druid]

That babies came out of their mother's anuses.

That dinosaurs were infact still alive

You weren't wrong, technically.

[Rotted]

That babies came out of their mother's anuses.



You weren't wrong, technically.

Technically, but t rex, bronchos and tris walking the top of the welsh mountains on the other hand

[Fonduset]

I thought that there were little men in my feet, and them working allowed me to move. When my feet were sore or i was tired. It was because the little men in my feet were having a rest.

[Rustedsaint]

That those joke items sold in the back of old comics were functional (x ray glasses, sea monkies actually looked like the picture shown)
That cartoons characters were actors dressed up in fancy costumes and make up.
That tide pods were a part of a nutritious breakfast(jk they weren’t around when I was that young)

[I Push Buttons]

I watched a lot of history channel stuff as a kid, a ton of WW2 documentaries. During most of them they always emphasized US industrial capacity and the amount of tanks and planes we made.

On that note, I spent most of my childhood thinking we were at war since once or twice a month trains filled with dozens of M1 Abrams tanks would come through my town headed south from the plant up in Lima.

In my young mind I equated making lots of tanks to being at war.

[Deleted]

I surmised that if you pulled the tv cord the shows would get stuck in the cable and you could resume watching later. I asked my sleeping dad who mumbled yes and went out to play.
Later to return and find out this wasnt the case at all.

[gaymer77]

I used to think the earth was round. Silly me!

[Azmoden]

I thought feminism meant wanting equality.

[gaymer77]

I girl flashed her vagina at me when I was 7, it deeply disturbed me and may explain my aversion to vagina now lol

Did seeing a vagina at age 7 make you gay?

[Silent One]

Life was not pain.

[Msshammy]

When parents said "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" I had no idea they meant a spanking. I never took it far enough to find out. I always imagined they had spiders or something scary they were going to give me lol.

Had red hair my whole life and the only person in my family to ever have it (that we know of). For years as a kid when people asked where I got it from I said the mailman. I seriously thought it meant the mailman brought it to me.. wasn't until years later I actually knew what it meant lol.