WoW and RL in adulthood

[Metacrias]

I'm 33 - because of my schedule I could never do any serious raiding. I need to be able to get up at a moment's notice, which often makes even mythic dungeons impossible (as does not being able to use a microphone or sound half the time). I play regularly, but sporadically. I've tended to move more towards peripheral things, like old raids, pet battles, transmog, professions, gathering, playing the AH and doing short things like a quick lfr or emissary quest.

[Nemah]

I started playing in my 30s as a way to kill time in hotels. I was traveling a lot and had floated from MMO to MMO prior. I was married, but no kids and a job where I had a lot of travel, but a lot of downtime in the mid to late afternoons, so WoW filled the niche nicely if I didn't feel like going out.

Started raiding with BC and got the bug. I had some flexibility issues with work/married life, but nothing too serious. Raided heroic (now mythic I guess) 3 to 4 nights a week with a later night guild.

Recently had a (surprise!) baby. Well...almost a year ago. Seems like yesterday I suppose. Different, more demanding job now. Haven't raided since WoD. I find between the demands of my current job and the kid there's either no time, or no energy. I miss raiding a lot, but haven't figured out how to make it work again yet.

That being said, it's been kind of nice to take an expansion long break. I can log in and screw around whenever/do whatever I want. It's like a whole side of the game I've not seen in a long time.

[taishar68]

Many of us started playing WoW when we were in our teens. Back then we had virtually no responsibilities and more free time than we knew how to spend. We grew up with this game, it was a big part of our transition to adulthood and maybe helped define our behavior as adults.

Fast forward to today: we have jobs, responsibilities, social obligations, bills to pay. Some of us have families, a girlfriend, a wife, kids.

To get away from all the complaining on this general board I want to talk about something else: how did your WoW gaming habits change when you got older? Do you still try to hold on to how you played as a kid/young adult? Do you still raid Mythic? How do you manage?

I started playing in 2006, when I was 37; divorced father of a teenager (who also plays, but I was first XD ) I was single and had few other hobbies, so I played all the time as much as I could stand. At times during BC/Wrath, I probably played around 40 hours a week, but RL always took precedence.

As time went on, I played less as the game got older, and took breaks at random times; I took months-long hiatuses in every expansion since Cataclysm.

I met a woman in 2014, and we are now married; my game time is now more about "do I have better things to do?" or "am I really into playing today?", and it definitely feels different than when I was single. It is a matter of having more important things to do, and that is ok.

[Deleted]

Everyone has their own reasons and everyone walks a different path in life, it's pretty strange to attack people their motivations in their thread and to a claim that they're lying.

[exjay]

I wish i had the time to play hours a day like in college, but you know as we grow older it’s harder to find time. Could be just me but now i’m 31 and i can tell my skills have somewhat deteriorated compared to how i use to play. I lose focus in raids and make more mistakes :/

[MoanaLisa]

The game was only briefly a substantial part of my free time during Wrath. Ever since I've made it a point to play other games, do other things, read books, be creative, and to have some perspective on it. I enjoy the game but if I go for a few days without playing it's not a big deal. Therefore it's always been easy to pull away. I doubt very much if I'm alone in that. Quite the opposite.

I think the mistake that many make that post here is that the game is too important in their lives. It shouldn't be. It truly seems that many really do not view the game as fun. That's fine and I'm not interested in advising anyone to change how they think about the game but playing a video game in a way that resembles a part-time job and writing all the time about "how lazy people won't do the work" is a bit precious. It's not supposed to be work. And for many, anyone that spends that much time playing video games is a special kind of lazy. It's true that those people don't understand the culture but they have a point. It's supposed to be fun. If it's not, you're likely doing something wrong. Same really goes for those that doubt that anyone can have a different opinion or point of view from theirs. Everyone is different. We like different things at different times in our lives. It's not a big problem to move on. Real life and friends always wins.

[Witchblade77]

I'm a dirty casual, basically sticking mainly to activities that can be done in short bursts of time and do not require much if any minmaxing. so collecting basically, pets, mounts, reputations, screenshots of pretty views, occasional achievements. here and there, I might do a dungeon or a wing of LFR. but overall, if I cannot finish it under an hour while fairly relaxed? i just don't do it.

P.S. I still did some harder content few years ago and honestly? it HAS to be scheduled. I need to know in advance when something is going to happen, so that I could clear a chunk of time for it. doing anything like that on a whim? ain't happening nowadays.

[Dundebuns]

I play less because the people I used to be in a guild with no longer play. When I resub, it tends to be when irl friends also resub. The game has always been more about the people for me.

[Zka]

I'm 40 now, playing since early 2006. Played 50+ hours per week until 2009 or so. Wife and daughter, fulltime job with some overtimes (including weekends), I'm also an independent software vendor developing, maintaining and SEOing a few products. Freetime is a real luxury.

I had to drastically cut back gametime after my daughter was born just before Ulduar release. I was basically down to zero or almost zero for a few years. It gets easier after a while, but spending anything more than 10-15 hours per week is unlikely. Playing anything that needs commitment is impossible before 9 PM. 2 hours or longer play sessions are really rare. I created a guild in Cata for hc gaming after 9 PM which was a success as many young parents, previously HC raiders needed a guild like that. But later on this also got toned down, players got less motivated, had less free time and therefore we no longer raid the highest difficulty. Doing mythics on 5-6 hours per week raid schedule is really unrealistic for this team.

I'm not interested in hc gaming anyway anymore, there are just so many things to plan and worry and get stressed about, I don't need another one.

[Mlz]

and yet most of people in this thread who still play a lot of hours somewhere in their story put stuff like "im divorced " , " im after break up " . "when i was in college i had time to play " " most of raiders in my guild are either in colledge or unemployed"

oh gee i wonder why you have so little of " im succesfull in work i have wife/kids and still play wow each evening" - tell me why it isnt the case if it is so "easy"

Because most people who bring up the 'I have 5 jobs, 6 wives and a bucket of children' do that to justify something they lack - e.g. their progress or knowledge or skills in game, and therefore they are more vocal by nature. There are plenty of those who have a perfectly normal real life and still manage to achieve more than an average Joe in this game because they treat this game as a hobby which they enjoy and therefore also devote some free time on it. They don't have to justify things to anyone else or to themselves.

I actually feel sorry for those stuck in the hamster-wheel and who have only like 5 hours a week or something to spend as they like. Truly sounds miserable. Especially considering that the vast majority of people tend to have at least 5 hours a day of leisure time (stats for the UK and stats for the USA). And a huge chunk of that leisure time is spent on consuming mass-media, e.g. watching TV or listening to radio. So it's not really the case that the vast majority of those who decide to spend less time on WoW do that because they have other intellectually stimulating hobbies. To me, it's quite clear that if you consider WoW a fun and a worthwhile hobby to have, you spend as much time as you like on it (~3 hours a day would be completely normal, provided you don't like watching TV or snapchatting). If you have more engaging hobbies then you spend your time on them instead but it's not like your hobbies are superior to someone else's.

Also, more and more women decide to remain either completely childfree or push it up to their forties. ~30% of women in the USA between ages 30 and 34 were childree. For the UK, the numbers are even higher - 'for women born in 1987, only 53 per cent had at least one child by their 30th birthday'. This means a lot more free time for both men and women.

[DeusX]

I'm still raiding mythic, but in a 2 days / week guild. I don't do that much extra activities, I don't really do M+, did it a few times mostly for Wakening Essences and for fun during early months, but now I am out M+ completely. I also don't farm much for AP, that's why some guildies have 80+ traits in main spec and 74+ in secondary spec, while I only have 75 in ms and 73 in os. I still have 1 lego missing from the full main spec collection, while others have them all of the entire main class for a while now.
But I survive with some progress on Anthorus Myhic (3/11). I am not main raider but since a lot of main raiders are even more unstable, I find a raid spot. Eh, sometimes I get replaced. I don't mind.
However I plan to quit completely soon. Have taken 1-2 month breaks before, but this time it feels like I will be for good.

[Lochton]

From when I started to now, time has been reduced but I keep playing. It helps as my wife plays as well. Hehe.

[Deleted]

as Bohemian writer i never accepted any deadlines (Robert Musils Mann Ohne Eigenschaften took nearly 17 years, Flauberts Mme Bovary 7, Kerouacs Dr. Sax 18h), neither in relationships nor in gaming. i write when i feel like, this pattern is existential to me but for one exception: my work-out schedule. i have to, else i ll regret it The Day After Tomorrow, when i miss my Pump-Action Look. WoW to me is a literaric and social inspiration: there is no other MMO (i played em all) with so much toxicity, so much (self) hate, its an analogy on the Dark Side Of The performance society.
didnt like Vanilla, came back from justice 3.0, on/off ever since, with chapters of HiFi-raiding, 2,8k 3v3, but my personal preference still is Solo, love this feeling of no obligations, Me, Myself And I vs the world. so i quit a very profitable spot as RL last tier for Sole Survivor, looking forward to new input.

[Eoric]

Actually had to create an account to post here since I think this is a super interesting topic, well its interesting cause its on my mind constantly.

Started in vanilla, unemployed or sometimes part time, raided everything and got my rank 14 grand marshal title as highlights. been casual since then since my friends didnt play any more.

Now 33 with full time job, wife, 2 kids (1 and 3yo),house and probably too many hobbies that I wont give up. In legion I wanted to start progress raiding again, missed it. Found a 2-day raiding guild and we clear mythic at around ~500 world, which pushes me to fight for a spot, but not high enough that I fall behind. Bunch of dads in the guild and we raid 20:30 to 24:00, so that we have time to put our kids to bed.

My wow time comes down to 3 basic things. raid, get weekly m+ done and keep AP at an acceptable level. im doing one character at one spec. If I have time for more than that I try to make it to our optional heroic clear, not that I need anything (after initial clears, unless titanforges but cant play around that), but just to get online and hang out with guildies in a more casual scene.

What makes my scenario easier is that since I have small kids (they get to bed early) and work full time, we usually dont do much on week days, so I can plan out well in advance.

Also lots of communication. Cant be understated, everything revolves around it. Mainly with wife, but its good to be open with RL as well.

[Deleted]

Very recognizable Eoric. My situation is similar except for your family life, which I replace with hobbies (playing piano, working out, etc). I'm also in 2 night raiding guild clearing at about 500 worldwide and have also scaled down to pretty much logging for raids, doing the weekly M+ and raid-related order hall missions. I try to still join the Normal/Heroic clears as well and if I find myself with a bit of extra time I'll do the alt runs.

I've pretty much stopped doing WQ except the emissaries every few days (they're over in less than 30min usually) and since I main a Holy Paladin now my AP isn't that crucial. I have decent legendaries as well, so not worried about missing out the other 2-3 that would also be viable in Mythic progress.

[Daedius]

I used to go out of my way to do all achievements, farm and camp for mounts... now I really can't be bothered with them.

[ercarp]

Fast forward to today: we have jobs, responsibilities, social obligations, bills to pay. Some of us have families, a girlfriend, a wife, kids.

Speak for yourself. I'm 21 now (9 when I started playing) and I still don't have any of these things. I can play 12 hours a day if I so desired, and sometimes I do. I still have enough time on my hands to run a relatively high key on all of my 10 alts every week for my M+ cache, but I choose not to raid as it's simply not gameplay that I enjoy.

So, I manage quite well.

[Pickynerd]

I started playing when i was in the army... So got much more free time now to play than i had back then.... I also have much more personal money to spend, so my rig is significantly better.

However, being in a committed relationship i still dont have a lot of time to play. So... I still am in a weird spot.

Would love to play much more.

- - - Updated - - -

I started playing when i was in the army... So got much more free time now to play than i had back then.... I also have much more personal money to spend, so my rig is significantly better.

However, being in a committed relationship i still dont have a lot of time to play. So... I still am in a weird spot.

Would love to play much more.

I read both of these thinking one was an update. Well played.

[Najnaj]

THere are more issues than that in play though. I could easily fit the time in to raid today but after 13 years or what ever it is I just can't be bothered anymore. Same with pvp... yawn.

[Deleted]

Its a really big drain on energy thats for sure. I used to raid 6/7 days a week for 5 hours a night pretty high up there for years. Met my mates afterwards to go out drinking and having fun.
Now go forward 10 years, I live with my partner, work at least 40 hours a week and are hoping to have kids very soon.
I still raid in a very relaxed 2 day a week mythic guild but i don't think that will be going on for very long as I prefer to play games I can walk away from the computer from in a whim instead of saying "2 sec, i'll be right there - 10 min later I walk in".
Anything so controlled feels like a 2nd job these days and that is fine (it always felt like that, I just never cared because it was my main focus next to work/studies).