How do I decide between my husband and my boyfriend

[Deleted]

Maybe you just pick shitty people. Plenty of women aren't she devils. Plenty are. The more likely scenario here is that you are just shit deciphering the two.

Yes the man is to blame always. You guys are just proving my points over and over.

[XangXu]

The fact that so many marriges fall apart is a sign of the culture.

Getting married or getting into a long term relationship is expected of people. Whether you actually care or are in love with the person doesn't matter.

If you have no pride in your marriage, it's going to fail.

[Speaknoevil]

You've heard her side of the story. Women are experts at justifications and victim hood. I've heard every bullshit excuse and justification they can come up with at this point and i'm not buying any of it anymore.
Society tend to immediately take a woman's side and people in general tend to always believe women over men.

You assumed she is lying and all of that is justification for doing something wrong when we have nothing else to go on.

It is more logical to base what you say think and do on what you know, or as close to what you can know. The information that was presented to us is as close as we can know about this situation without recordings or some shit, so: If everything happened exactly as she described it, it wasn't really cheating because he did everything you just quoted and more.

[buck008]

No, we're talking about a commitment here. It's not a different story. When people get married they are making a life commitment to the other person, same as deciding to have a child.

I agree shit happens and real life takes control, if you're not willing to roll with it with your partner, don't get married. It's that simple.

You say marriage is a life time commitment. That's not a thing that most people feel. It's a commitment, sure. You do your best to maintain it, but, ultimately, you need to do what's best for you. If your partner is unwilling to help you in that journey, you need a new one.

[buck008]

Yes the man is to blame always. You guys are just proving my points over and over.

No, I said you were to blame. Not "the man". You. You personally. Has nothing to do with your gender. If you've been in that many relationships and they've all gone bad, the common factor is you. If you can't put in the self reflection to realize that and work on yourself, and you'd rather blame other, then you don't need to be in a relationship anyway.

[Karaoke]

Perfect example right there. Immediately blaming the man as if he somehow have sole responsibility in a relationship. You know NOTHING about it yet you assume that somehow it was my "connection" with those women that was to blame.

This is why women are so god damn entitled.

It takes two to tango. It takes one to blame. Is it so impossible to think that maybe there is something about how you attract women that could be causing the problem? I know plenty of happily married couples that would disagree the opposite sex is entitled as you put it.

[Independent voter]

How do I decide between my husband and my boyfriend

Call them both up and tell them that your battery died and you're stuck in the Walmart parking lot. See who shows up first. This test is better at around 1AM while it's snowing.

[Casthiel]

My husband’s been consumed with university and work. We only saw each other on weekends.

After four months, I said I couldn’t handle three more years. But he didn’t care about how I felt.

So he's working and going to university, presumably so they both can have a more comfortable life in the future and after 4 months that makes her feel "abandoned"? And she asked him to 'quit' but he "didnt care how she felt"? And then she started an affair? Seriously? Seriously?

Sounds like he is the one dodging a bullet.

[Speaknoevil]

How do I decide between my husband and my boyfriend

Call them both up and tell them that your battery died and you're stuck in the Walmart parking lot. See who shows up first.

This is actually a great suggestion. +25 Internet

[Karaoke]

You say marriage is a life time commitment. That's not a thing that most people feel. It's a commitment, sure. You do your best to maintain it, but, ultimately, you need to do what's best for you. If your partner is unwilling to help you in that journey, you need a new one.

Then do a better job of deciding that before getting married.

It's really not that complicated.

EDIT - Marriage is the definition of life time commitment to another person. There is no further step in a relationship. Otherwise, what's the point of getting married? If you're not ready to make that commitment, DONT GET MARRIED.

[buck008]

Then do a better job of deciding that before getting married.

It's really not that complicated.

Are you the same person now that you were 10 years ago? Do you want the same things? Have the same needs? Do you think you'll be the same as you are now in another 10 years? Good relationships change and grow together because the people talk about these things as they happen. They either agree to work on them together or they don't. You can't predict things that far ahead.

[Kaleredar]

Gonna guess hes got a few of these sites on the ole toolbar. You're missing out in life if you're not checking thestar.com daily for updates

He's a masochist?

Okay sure... but then why does he take this random article that has nothing to do or, really anyone but the people involved, with him to get the peanut gallery's opinion on a WoW gaming forum?


I mean can I just start posting threads about Wikipedia topics I happened upon?

What are people's thoughts about the development of the musical Masala style Bollywood films?

What are people's thoughts about that American Marine that was proclaimed king of an island off the coast of haiti back in the 20s by means of voodoo ritual because he happened to share a name with a former emperor of Haiti?

What's the people's opinion on whether Dinosaurs look cooler when depicted in a classic, though scientifically impossible, pronated hands position?

A world of random, pointless topics await us! Definitely cooler than some maudlin Melrose place crap.

[Deleted]

No, I said you were to blame. Not "the man". You. You personally. Has nothing to do with your gender. If you've been in that many relationships and they've all gone bad, the common factor is you. If you can't put in the self reflection to realize that and work on yourself, and you'd rather blame other, then you don't need to be in a relationship anyway.

You probably wouldn't say something similar to a woman right? (i know you wouldn't so don't even bother answering).

Cheating, monkey branching and hypergamy is not something one can "work on" it's an innate part of female psychology. It doesn't matter how successful, beautiful and perfect you are, eventually she will look to move on. If she can't find anyone superior she might settle.

Only men try to "work on the relationship" women say they want but they really don't. Marriage counseling is a female echo chamber.

[RobertoCarlos]

Snip

His threads arnt that random though, They follow a theme after you notice the patterns. They can all nearly be classed under marriage, or obesity, or Canada, or expensive coats/fashion.

[Karaoke]

I mean can I just start posting threads about Wikipedia topics I happened upon?

Start a new thread and see where it goes

[Kaleredar]

His threads arnt that random though, They follow a theme after you notice the patterns. They can all nearly be classed under marriage, or obesity, or Canada, or expensive coats/fashion.

I'd say that choice of subject matter is random given this forum.

This article in particular seems even more unilaterally useless than most of his threads. This isn't even some "oh this is some 'disturbing trend'" nonsense, this is a "Hey check out this one thing this one random person's going through!"

[Astalnar]

But I’m terrified of making the wrong choice.

Honey, you already made the wrong choice. What you're trying to do now is called damage control.

[Deleted]

It takes two to tango. It takes one to blame. Is it so impossible to think that maybe there is something about how you attract women that could be causing the problem? I know plenty of happily married couples that would disagree the opposite sex is entitled as you put it.

All i know is that it wasn't me that cheated. You will obviously put this down to a failure from me to "satisfy my woman" or something equally sophomoric.

[buck008]

You probably wouldn't say something similar to a woman right? (i know you wouldn't so don't even bother answering).

Cheating, monkey branching and hypergamy is not something one can "work on" it's an innate part of female psychology. It doesn't matter how successful, beautiful and perfect you are, eventually she will look to move on. If she can't find anyone superior she might settle.

Only men try to "work on the relationship" women say they want but they really don't. Marriage counseling is a female echo chamber.

I would and have. Some women pick shitty men. For example, you seem to have dated a lot, so there were some bad decisions made there. I get it, it's easier to blame your lack of happiness on others and create some grand conspiracy where we all love women and hate men. That's not reality. Reality is that there are good and bad in both genders. There is no monolithic "female psychology". Everyone is different. You just have crap taste in women. Anyone with the self awareness requisite to make that kind of realization wouldn't spew hate to strangers on the internet though, so you do you, Quint.

[RobertoCarlos]

I'd say that choice of subject matter is random given this forum.

This article in particular seems even more unilaterally useless than most of his threads. This isn't even some "oh this is some 'disturbing trend'" nonsense, this is a "Hey check out this one thing this one random person's going through!"

Yeah, Im not sure when blogs became news either. Real news isnt much better these days with click bait being king anyway. I find him amusing so doesnt really bother me. I can pick out his threads just by name. The emote in every title makes it a bit too easy though