to Tell or not to Tell

[acegaming90]

so i will make it as simple as possible...

Met a girl online , we clicked and started flirting back and forth , i went to see her it was great , we were (or i thought) in love , share everything and all ,she would ask me to skype day and night and was head over heals for me... till recently she went quiet and said she is unsure if she wanna continue , i became unrestful coz she refused to meet / talk about anything and say she needs space... so we decide a time period for both to reflect on. during that time i found her pic with another dude on insta (we only had skype / whatsapp talks for 3 months) and one day i without confronting her asked when she was dating bfore me and she said august but the description of the story didnt match up at all....after few weeks (i texted her twice during this period and kept adding / deleting her on skype .. and was miserable) so after that she goes on last day of thinking period she didnt even had time to think about it? like really? i asked her if she would come skype so we can talk since texting can be confusing. She said ok tomorrow at X time pill point (i said look last couple weeks you keep saying you would call but dont so be sure if you cant lets not and she said no no i will be there). anyways next day i waited from that time till 3 hours later and no calls , no text nothing so disappointed and defeated i texted her ex but didnt say anything about her , just asked if hes X person , and by luck that night she calls we talk for a while and things seem to be getting clear , she said shes having hard time coz of exams to keep up with LDR etc. i said i could come to her anytime she wants and we decided lets keep it casual and after exams we will see... but next day i got the call for her 'ex' and he asked who is it , i panicked and said no it was mistake and hung up , and told her and she got pissed why i did it , she said "he is the last person i should worry about". anyways in panic i said i feel like dying and i think she got scared .. called me and we talked , she explained she can't be in relationship for a while and don't want me to "hope" but she wanna be there for me , i told her i like her more than friend and i dunno but we agreed. After thinking over night i decided its bad idea to keep in contact like that since i know she has other ex she made friends with and still talk to and i don't wanna be "that guy" , we exchanged words and then stopped talking but i couldnt keep myself from texting her /: i know i know but then i just deleted my whatsapp for few days and then all of sudden few Days later i get her text asking how i am... at 1st i ignored it but i couldnt ignore , i thought she might be worried so i reinstalled whatsapp and asked how her trip was (she went on a trip for few days) , after that it started getting back into about "us" and i said to her someone told me something which is pretty big but i still don't feel any hate or anger toward her , she got worked up and said tell me , i refused coz i knew if i told her she won't talk to me again at all. after back and forth she said come on skype. (important note: since she became 'unsure' she asked me to delete all pics and chat ,which i said i did but i kept some of it , a gut feeling?)

so on skype she tells me the true truth... she has been in a relationship for over 3 and half years but became unsure of it and soon after met me , we clicked , it was as if we were meant for each other and she helped me a lot , we met and she said she then became unsure how to get out of this situation without hurting either of us , she wanted to end it with her bf but didnt know how since it was 3 and half year long and we only met once and knew each other for 4 months. so said she will tell her ex (mostly coz she tho i might) and was crying so i said ok lets not do that , i will back off since i was the mistake or whatever , but it dealt a big blow to me , i went into depression about self worth coz i truly fell for her and didnt know how to deal with it. So she tells her bf and tells me its over she wanna be alone now , but as stupid as i am i text her bf telling him itsn ot her fault she made "one mistake" he said its not one mistake its 3 months of immortal mistakes . then he tells me she told me this and that which didnt even match at all , she told him she walked away from me etc while it was opposite so i told him its not true and got mad at her ,she got pissed why i showed him us together or showed a bit of chat how it actually was , ... the kicker is she seem to have way with words , even after this i thought i am to blame while she now is back with her ex and i am feeling like a used object for her sexual needs or desires which during that time period she was madly attached to me , i wasnt.


so now my moral says let it go and move on even if she is with her ex now and has twisted words to make it sound i was the one to blame and she tried to help me (since i once said i wanna die coz she won't even talk to me when i texted her ex) ... but my pride says put it all infront of him and let her explain it that , not nudes , i deleted those long ago but rest of chat and some pics.

TLDR version : guy meets girl online , both fall for each other , meet once for days , things happen , girl kept saying she loves me and i slowly fell in love with her , it was as if we were meant for each other , then 3 months later all of sudden she becomes unsure even tho she says she loves me but something is pushing her back and need space to think , impatient guy kept on asking if she wanna stop or whats up coz i can't rest and overthink.. guy goes to therapist to get help and we decide "time off" , she breaks it 1st but i say we have to respect but during it i break it twice , she is cold as turkey doesnt matter what i say , later on says she ddnt have time to think of it. we talk and finally get somewhere but guy makes a mistake of calling ex without asking or telling anything to ex, she gets mad and ends it all , find out its not her ex but a guy shes been with in LDR for 3 years and i was the so called fling. one side says tell her ex what she said to me other side says lets fuck it and move on.


so mmo c sorry for wall of text , i am stressed and would like your opinion on things.

thanks

[Ashleyxoxo]

even real b*tches are bad, you think an online one gives a sh*t about you???

[Mistame]

This is MMO-Champion, not Dr Phil.

[THE Bigzoman]

Even the TLDR is too long

[RobertoCarlos]

even real b*tches are bad, you think an online one gives a sh*t about you???

you are not a very nice person are you...

OP if you are gonna chase them that hard they are gonna run every time. Abort mission now

[zlygork]

Based on the tldr, tell the guy. Being cheated on sucks and the person has the right to know and make his own choice.

[Rathwirt]

GTFO. Cut off all communication. Just trust me on this. Don't give her a second thought. Move on. Don't bring up anything with her bf.

[Independent voter]

Yeah move on.

[acegaming90]

GTFO. Cut off all communication. Just trust me on this. Don't give her a second thought. Move on. Don't bring up anything with her bf.

thing is i did try to communicate since all of this still doesnt make sense to me but she seem to be playing the victim and won't even call to make things clear as adult which makes me mad...

[RobertoCarlos]

thing is i did try to communicate since all of this still doesnt make sense to me but she seem to be playing the victim and won't even call to make things clear as adult which makes me mad...

She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Shes not worth the drama man. Move onto someone else and take it easy. You dont fall in love in 3 days despite what the rom coms tell you

[THE Bigzoman]

thing is i did try to communicate since all of this still doesnt make sense to me but she seem to be playing the victim and won't even call to make things clear as adult which makes me mad...

Then start now?

Seems like you're being taken for a ride and you're in denial

[Ezekeel]

Just move on, but tell him first. Would you like to know if you were him? If so, tell him. The rest doesn't matter, that type of people always make the same mistakes, he would eventually see the truth.

[Mad_Murdock]

I understand what it's like to have a strong connection with someone and then they break it off. Gaping hole in your chest and all that. The answer isn't easy, but move on is the answer. Tell the other guy or don't, it's not going to make much of a difference for you.

[RobertoCarlos]

Just move on, but tell him first. Would you like to know if you were him? If so, tell him. The rest doesn't matter, that type of people always make the same mistakes, he would eventually see the truth.

Cant agree. People should stay out of other peoples relationships. Its none of your business and maybe he already knows and they swing.

I never understand the white knight mentality

[Bigbazz]

Time to move on, he probably changed when he fell in love with her which changed the dynamic of the relationship and the early days honeymoon period being over brought some things into perspective, she felt uncomfortable and realised it wasn't working how she had planned but it was a slow process because she felt pressure to follow through with how she felt a few months ago.

Been there myself, not quite as dramatic sounding as this though. Also possible she met someone else, maybe a bit of both.

[Enjoiskate]

move on buddy

[acegaming90]

Time to move on, he probably changed when he fell in love with her which changed the dynamic of the relationship and the early days honeymoon period being over brought some things into perspective, she felt uncomfortable and realised it wasn't working how she had planned but it was a slow process because she felt pressure to follow through with how she felt a few months ago.

Been there myself, not quite as dramatic sounding as this though. Also possible she met someone else, maybe a bit of both.

she was in a LDR for 3 and half year which i had no idea of , i even asked her during and she said no nothing , even when i mentioned the pic of that guy she said its her ex she met once...

[Bigbazz]

It is time to move on though, it's a train wreck in process. The faster it's over with the faster all will be healed and new pastures of life will be under way. Of course everyone learns the hard way, it aint easy.

[acegaming90]

thing is ... i was insecure introvert guy and i felt so connected to her that i let her in on everything and felt great with her , then knowing all she did or hid kinda fucks with my mind , ended up behind from where i was before meeting her and not sure where to go /: it was such a rollercoster ride for me and for all of it i have been in such dark that i can't even seem to shake it off...

[RobertoCarlos]

thing is ... i was insecure introvert guy and i felt so connected to her that i let her in on everything and felt great with her , then knowing all she did or hid kinda fucks with my mind , ended up behind from where i was before meeting her and not sure where to go /: it was such a rollercoster ride for me and for all of it i have been in such dark that i can't even seem to shake it off...

Thats just how the world ticks. You put yourself out there then you run the risk of being hurt.

Comes down to an age old problem, would you rather have loved and lost, or have never loved at all? Its a tricky question that you need to decide on.

And I've met a few girls like the one you mention and its like trying to tie down a hurricane. Its a waste of time and effort and you're gonna get hurt

And the only way to move on is to stop all contact and take time to recover

Also use the experience to notice warning signs next time