How would you react to a date not looking like their pictures?

[Deleted]

Not be as shallow as the rest of the posters.. You go on dates with the opposite sex for their personalities...

All these people that say "I wouldn't date that because of their looks" are shallow, So lets say you get a stunner, sit down and the conversation is so boring..

I would prefer someone carrying a few extra pounds and have an amazing conversation that lasts late night after late night than to be bored to death over someone stunning that entire conversation is about how they had dyed their hair and ended up with the same colour hands as they forgot to put gloves on..

I would date someone for their mind and conversation skills than looks and being an air head.

See the quote below.
Its not about that person being a bit bigger, its the fact the very first impression you have of the person is of them being dishonest. I'd rather not waste my time on someone that can't even tell the truth about their appearance.

Also it's not shallow to want to date someone you find attractive.

If they start off with a lie, that shit ain't going nowhere.

[melodramocracy]

Depends on the situation I suppose. While this sort of behavior can be chalked up to low self esteem, I'd also probably just think the person is deceptive in nature from that point out.

[Hilhen7]

Not be as shallow as the rest of the posters.. You go on dates with the opposite sex for their personalities...

All these people that say "I wouldn't date that because of their looks" are shallow, So lets say you get a stunner, sit down and the conversation is so boring..

I would prefer someone carrying a few extra pounds and have an amazing conversation that lasts late night after late night than to be bored to death over someone stunning that entire conversation is about how they had dyed their hair and ended up with the same colour hands as they forgot to put gloves on..

I would date someone for their mind and conversation skills than looks and being an air head.

But how good can their personality be if they are deceitful? At that point can I really trust whatever they tell me?

[Dangg]

They never look *like* their pictures. I assume you mean severe cases?

[anveena]

Not be as shallow as the rest of the posters.. You go on dates with the opposite sex for their personalities...

I think using misleading or fake photos says enough about their personality to stay away.

[LiiLoSNK]

S'all good I'm forklift certified.

[Spectral]

You go on dates with the opposite sex for their personalities...

This is nonsense. You go on dates to find someone you want to have sex with. Personalities become relevant, but the minimum prerequisite for being worthwhile dating is mutual attraction. If someone is overweight, I'm not attracted to them and already know what I need to know about their priorities and habits for me to move on and find someone else. To go further, if they were actively misleading about their weight, I know an additional fact about their character that further encourages moving on.

[chubbybunny]

A lot of people would mislead about their weight because the people of today are brainwashed by society that larger people will not offer anything, and you all have to be wafer thin...

when i first started going to chat rooms, etc online, like ICQ, IRC and AOL chatrooms, you'd talk to a person and get to know them first, instead of "here's a photo lets chat"... Back in those days you'd talk and get to know a person first, and then find out what they look like after.. I'm sure there's a lot of people who have had photos and said "not worth it" and find out they would be one you could have great conversations, fun, etc rather than someone who looks good and are boring as F**k and not adventureous at all.

[Crissi]

A lot of people would mislead about their weight because the people of today are brainwashed by society that larger people will not offer anything, and you all have to be wafer thin...

when i first started going to chat rooms, etc online, like ICQ, IRC and AOL chatrooms, you'd talk to a person and get to know them first, instead of "here's a photo lets chat"... Back in those days you'd talk and get to know a person first, and then find out what they look like after.. I'm sure there's a lot of people who have had photos and said "not worth it" and find out they would be one you could have great conversations, fun, etc rather than someone who looks good and are boring as F**k and not adventureous at all.

There's plenty of people who look attractive AND have great personalties. WHy should I bother dating someone I m not attracted to when I can have both?

Also, thats what friendships are for. Keeping someone thats fun and exciting around but recognizing you arent attracted to them and as such would make a terrible partner.

[Deleted]

I'd leave. Not because I wouldn't want to date an obese person, but because I don't want to date a liar. If you can't even be honest to get a date, how can I trust you to be honest at all?

[Torrasque]

It doesn't matter to me nearly as so long as it isn't so different that I cannot recognize them.

[Player Twelve]

It could. There are many reasons someone may have gained weight. If I honestly learned to care about this person before we met face to face, I would be willing to hear them out and learn to understand how they ended up with the extra weight.

I live by the saying, "When you love someone, you don't only get to love the good in them, you have to love the bad in them as well."

There are no reasons as to why someone is fat that somehow makes it not a character flaw. You don't get fat unless you lack discipline to not eat too much while not being physically active.

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A lot of people would mislead about their weight because the people of today are brainwashed by society that larger people will not offer anything, and you all have to be wafer thin...

when i first started going to chat rooms, etc online, like ICQ, IRC and AOL chatrooms, you'd talk to a person and get to know them first, instead of "here's a photo lets chat"... Back in those days you'd talk and get to know a person first, and then find out what they look like after.. I'm sure there's a lot of people who have had photos and said "not worth it" and find out they would be one you could have great conversations, fun, etc rather than someone who looks good and are boring as F**k and not adventureous at all.

Why would anyone even want to be with someone they don't find attractive? Fat is not attractive.

[Happy Shoplifter]

I literally jumped out of a moving car to get away from a date for this very reason.

[breadisfunny]

depends. if she is a little different then her photo i can work with that as long as she still looks somewhat attractive to me. i am not big on looks. as long as she isn't vastly overwieght (200lbs+) or hideously ugly (i'm talking really ugly here.) i'll wait it out. now if she looks completely different i would say something like "uhm so your picture online it looks a wee bit different than what i'm seeing here is there a good reason for that?" if yes than i can overlook that one time breach of trust. if not than i will state that i simply cannot start off a relationship with a lie and politely leave. i don't trust liars.

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I literally jumped out of a moving car to get away from a date for this very reason.

one of my neighbors did that. fucked up the rest of his life and gave himself brain damage. seems like a smart decision for you if your that stupid to jump out of a moving vehicle.

[schwarzkopf]

I'd be happy I'm not on a date with a 4x3 bit of coloured paper.

[Kathandira]

There are no reasons as to why someone is fat that somehow makes it not a character flaw. You don't get fat unless you lack discipline to not eat too much while not being physically active.

Everyone has flaws, no one is perfect. Falling and remaining in love with someone, means you have accepted their flaws.

I'm not claiming that you must love any and all flaws as I am in no position to dictate what someone must accept or not. But what I am saying, is you might accept certain flaws if you love the person beyond those flaws.

[elaina]

You go on dates with the opposite sex for their personalities...

As important as personality is, you can't just completely minimize the importance of physical / sexual attraction.

[Deleted]

All this talk about weight, and no mention of makeup.

[ls-]

It depends on how different she is. In worst case scenario I'll just leave.

Also lol at people who call others "shallow" for having preferences.

[Louisa Bannon]

Just realize that you're an idiot, a Sienfeld type always looking for a way out, that doesn't really want a serious relationship.

There must be dozens of things you could have done beforehand to discover what the person really looked like, today, right now, before meeting them. If weight is some sort of problem for you, you might have indicated that a trim figure is really important to you. This list goes on...

To my thinking when you agree to meet with someone and maybe everything hasn't already been talked over and worked out, ideally you are open-minded and willing to accept people as they are, finding beauty and attraction in all manner of people - and not be some super judgmental asshole obsessed with weight instead. I won't lie, I've seen people that I don't find particularly attractive in any way. It's not a particular thing though. I like people of all races, all sizes, height, etc. Below U.S. size 6 I find women too girlish/boyish for my tastes, over size 20 maybe that really is too much weight.

But if you didn't bother to find out, that's on you.