Autism questions/advice/help

[Deleted]

I already find it hard to communicate with my development team, who I suspect all have autism.
They are brilliant developers, but they are as social as a door knob.

What I learned is not to bother them with more than short conversations and always keep it limited to what needs to be said.

[gaymer77]

I basically get uneasy and flustered if I'm in a situation I haven't mentally prepared for. And I'm rather socially akward, in part because I tend to be very literal about everything which often causes me to misunderstand goofs (which I can always tell immediately from their reaction to my response)

I can be a sarcastic asshole at times and I like to joke/tease. He absolutely hates when I do that because even if I exaggerate the joking he doesn't get it most of the time. Its hard for me NOT to do that because its part of who I am.

He should go to a new therapist because all of that sans awkwardness is symptomatic of OCD not ASD, and being socially awkward is not part of the diagnostic criteria for ASD.

Go read the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5 if you want.

True that OCD isn't a symptom of autism but it is prevalent in people that are high funtioning autistic (HFA). People with HFA have a higher chance at having depression, bipolar, OCD, and ADHD. He has anxiety, depression, and OCD. He does repetitive actions. He has rituals he has to do before leaving the house or when he leaves the car to go in the house. He has in the past cut himself but doesn't do that now. He is a musical genius with the guitar and is self taught. He has trouble understanding emotions of other people. He is very fixated on martial arts (he says he's just "into it" but he is fixated on it). That's why his therapist (and I) think he has autism.

[SealMemeSix]

I mean if he's getting laid he can't be THAT autistic.

[Dalheim]

A diagnosis doesn't change anything. He'll be the same as he is now, he's not suddenly going to get more autistic if he's diagnosed with it.

This.

And for your second question; I have autism, was diagnosed at age 7 back in 2001. My father -probably- have it aswell, my older brother have ADHD but its barely noticable. My gf also have it. I'm used to handling it since I know how it works.

[Strawberry]

A diagnosis doesn't change anything. He'll be the same as he is now, he's not suddenly going to get more autistic if he's diagnosed with it.

Rofl your post was so obvious that it made me laugh.
You got the answer spot on though.
Some people are just... /facepalm

[Deleted]

My SO of 6 years has mild autism, doesn't really hinder them much though. They have some problem knowing what people really mean in texts etc.
This autism stigma that've recently surfaced on the web is so fucking over-negativized (Is that even a word?).

EDIT: And as people have said, things won't change just because he has it on paper.

[Independent voter]

To women, most men are on the spectrum. Kicking a man under the table for saying something inappropriate is so common it's cliché, telling him not to wear an inappropriate article of clothing is cliché too.

I was more ambitious before I was diagnosed, now I know not to try anything that involves interacting with people, now I use it as and excuse so a diagnosis is good and bad. I understand things more but now that I do, I'm restricting myself.

Humans are social animals and a huge chunk of our brain is set aside to deal with social interaction. Autistic people have trouble accessing that part of the brain. "Inappropriate" is what we do, we dress, say things, do things inappropriately. We don't get certain jokes or sarcasm. We tend to go through a lot of jobs and relationships. The social part of the brain would help us with all these things but we can't access it.

But with training we can blend in more.

If you find a good woman, women are very social creatures so she'll help you with 95% of your problems, just don't let your autism drive her nuts.

There has been a lot of study into autism and there are new treatments on the horizon, some that might let us access our autistic brains fully, not a cure but a good treatment.

[Svifnymr]

The reason why his therapist believes he has autism is because of his severe OCD, rituals he has to do some times before leaving the house, social awkwardness, and repetitive behaviors he shows. He's had difficulty finding a job and we think it is because he doesn't interview well because of these problems.

Autism is a wide spectrum, so you can't make wide judgements based on that alone. My boss's son was diagnosed as on the spectrum and he was all worried about it, so I pointed out to him that he would probably have been diagnosed as on the spectrum given his behaviors. He's got the popular view of OCD, rather than the actual compulsive behavior. Has his resistance to change. His son has been going to classes to learn more about socializing, but otherwise functions just fine.

Basically, as others have said, if Autism is just suspected now, then it's not going to suddenly change things, just explain some things.

[breadisfunny]

i have been diagnosed with autism,ocd,tourettes, and adhd. its not fun.

[Dembai]

As someone who was diagnosed with a pile of things (not autism) as an adult, your biggest challenge is to show them love. People can take diagnoses different ways. Sometimes we get sad - or angry, or we want to find reasons to blame someone for not noticing sooner, or not getting us checked by a doctor sooner. We get upset with ourselves for resisting getting checked, we get mad about having to take medication (if it's medicated) because we've been brought up our whole lives loathing people who "take drugs", even though we're actually taking them for the right reasons.

It can be very emotional. It can and will become something they accept - but while they're coming to grips with it all, (and hell, even sometimes afterwards) they can be quite hard on themelseves and others (usually not their SO - but sometimes their parents or teachers who "should have known" or "who heard me say all these things and told me it was nothing").

Also, contrary to what some folks are saying here, the diagnosis can also be something of a letdown. When it's something with a stigma - and autism is unfortunately one of those things - having the ability to say "that's what it is" isn't much good when fessing up to that will make a LOT of people (especially doctors) treat you differently.

Be ready to be an advocate for your SO - if a doctor starts talking to YOU about HIM instead of right to HIM, step back, tell them that you're not the patient and even be ready to leave the room if the doctor CONTINUES to ignore him. Many doctors do this to patients and it's EXTREMELY upsetting.

[yamilonewolf]

That's actually kinda interesting because that was one of the first sites I was told about looking at. What's so bad about them?

you Apperntly got banned but if you're here in another form or if anyone else is interested , the wikipedia does a decent job but the biggest thing you can do if you want to see why people don't like it is to google "Autism speaks doesn't speak for me " to see MANY Autists' share their feelings.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_Speaks

[Bigbazz]

How exactly does an adult being diagnosed with Autism end up "life altering", it's not like he just found out he had cancer.. They are just putting a label on what he has been for his entire life so far.

[Danvash]

A gaming forum might not be the best place to get psychiatric advice.

[Lorgar Aurelian]

How exactly does an adult being diagnosed with Autism end up "life altering", it's not like he just found out he had cancer.. They are just putting a label on what he has been for his entire life so far.

It could be life altering as you would now have support open to you that wasn’t open before.