Sppose yo cheating ex gilfiend comes back

[Speaknoevil]

Tldr a narcissistic, self centered, responsibility shirking ass defends cheaters.

What of my responsibilities have I shirked in this regard?

It isn't defending cheaters to say that you shouldn't get to do whatever you want to someone because they cheated on you.

[Hekazi]

Oh, i see. So literally everyone that cheated, even if it was just once, will never be able to be faithful to someone else? What? That is pretty insane, but okay i suppose.

The self worth point i can actually understand, but if your confidence or your sense of self worth linked to someone else... I don't think that's good. I mean, i get it, you would be feeling bad because you are selling yourself short. But what I'm trying to say here is the following: Your sense of self worth should depend on anyone but yourself. Sure, if you feel bad about coming back to her then you absolutely should not do it. But if you got over it and want to try again, I do not think that is bad at all. This just looks like you have a wounded pride.

The third point only works if the person is a sociopath. People are complicated ball of feelings, and feelings rarely operate on logic. If the person is an asshole, yeah , they might think that, but i like to think that most people are not assholes.

Well, you absolutely should not make them a priority. At all. But texting back or having lunch with them once is not really giving them priority. If you are giving her priority, then you should go out or talk to them.

I am assuming that the person got over the cheater. If the person is not over the cheater, then its a completely different beast.

You are very well correct about all points you've mentioned, as is Beastiel.
We mistake our self worth with our bruised pride and ego, but it hurts regardless for a while and we get concerned about our self esteem that must remain intact.
I'd say she's a sociopath, she has borderline, and she indeed can do it again considering the symptoms of that mental disorder, and i am over her finally, as should be anyone with a cheating ex, returning is less rewarding than moving on.

Son... Never fall in love with a whore.

I would have saved myself from a lot of psychological unease and wasted time if only i knew before
Foolishly, i expected a change, i wanted to witness her becoming a better person, but then she cheated when i least expected it.

tldr: A bunch of woman haters with double standards sitting in a circle.

We don't hate on women, we hate on cheating women.
We don't have double standards, cheating is a big no no matter the circumstances, she could man up and come tell me that we are over, but she hasn't done it.
They also claim to be independent in the relationship and want freedom, but once granted (expecting them to make good use of it, they would instead be falling for the next guy in line, get used and then thrown away). Freedom indeed.
What they say is nothing close of who they truly are.

What of my responsibilities have I shirked in this regard?

It isn't defending cheaters to say that you shouldn't get to do whatever you want to someone because they cheated on you.

We don't, but coming back goes a long way, they know full well we seek and probably killed them a million times in our minds yet they approach us.
Also he hasn't done anything to his ex, it's another person who did hit her.

Cheating might not be an excuse to justify anything we do to an ex girlfriend and we likely won't be doing anything, they can move to hell, but the main issue i'd say is how they appear again and neglect the position they took which drives us to hate.
If you cheated, the other person is likely doing so much better without you, you wanting to talk to them after they've made it through the pain is bold, selfish and insolent. There's absolutely 0 reason to be back since there's nothing that could be fixed except her probably feeling bad about herself which i don't give a shit about.
She hurts like hell, spends months away, and then wants us to find an arrangement or talk like "friends"
It's too early for that, i can't do it before a couple years at least.

[Pickynerd]

Tell her to go fuck herself

This^

Plus 10 chars

[Deleted]

What of my responsibilities have I shirked in this regard?

It isn't defending cheaters to say that you shouldn't get to do whatever you want to someone because they cheated on you.

How the fuck did anything I say equate to do what you want?

As much as I'd have love to I dident knife the bitch. I only stopped being nice to her and gave her exactly what she did to me.

Turnabout IS fairplay

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Oh, i see. So literally everyone that cheated, even if it was just once, will never be able to be faithful to someone else? What? That is pretty insane, but okay i suppose.

The self worth point i can actually understand, but if your confidence or your sense of self worth linked to someone else... I don't think that's good. I mean, i get it, you would be feeling bad because you are selling yourself short. But what I'm trying to say here is the following: Your sense of self worth should depend on anyone but yourself. Sure, if you feel bad about coming back to her then you absolutely should not do it. But if you got over it and want to try again, I do not think that is bad at all. This just looks like you have a wounded pride.

The third point only works if the person is a sociopath. People are complicated ball of feelings, and feelings rarely operate on logic. If the person is an asshole, yeah , they might think that, but i like to think that most people are not assholes.

Well, you absolutely should not make them a priority. At all. But texting back or having lunch with them once is not really giving them priority. If you are giving her priority, then you should go out or talk to them.

I am assuming that the person got over the cheater. If the person is not over the cheater, then its a completely different beast.

Every single person on this planet is an asshole to the people they don't like like.

[Sluvs]

How the fuck did anything I say equate to do what you want?

As much as I'd have love to I dident knife the bitch. I only stopped being nice to her and gave her exactly what she did to me.

Turnabout IS fairplay

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Every single person on this planet is an asshole to the people they don't like like.

Wow wow wow, calm down with that broad brush of yours. If I hate someone, sure, I might not be nice to them, but I will, at least, be civil about it. I do not believe that just because you were wronged it allows you to be an asshole to the person that wronged you. And there is a HUUUUUUUGE gray area between being an asshole and being nice.

[The5thVegetable]

I'd talk to her. But if she wanted any degree of friendliness, she'd have to work for it- and getting back together would most likely be out of the question.

Outside of that, it would depend a lot on circumstance and her intentions of coming back.

[Talon8669]

As the title suggests,

imagine if your ex girlfriend came back after months and months of spending time in other relationships and she says "i came here to normally talk to you" or "i came with no bad intentions, i only want to know how life is going"

What do you do?
Take into account that she cheated on you, dumped you and refused to talk about it and then she wildly appears again.

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Wait, we can't edit titles on this website? Woah.

Hook up with her and don't call her back.....if the sex was good that is.

[Deleted]

Wow wow wow, calm down with that broad brush of yours. If I hate someone, sure, I might not be nice to them, but I will, at least, be civil about it. I do not believe that just because you were wronged it allows you to be an asshole to the person that wronged you. And there is a HUUUUUUUGE gray area between being an asshole and being nice.

And eye for and eye a tooth for a tooth.

[Sluvs]

And eye for and eye a tooth for a tooth.

And soon enough, the whole world will be blind.

I literally never thought I would write this in a message board.

I mean, I'm not saying you should be a doormat, or even nice. Just don't be an asshole. I think that usually is good advice. But hey, that's me.

You do you.

[Deleted]

And soon enough, the whole world will be blind.

I literally never thought I would write this in a message board.

I mean, I'm not saying you should be a doormat, or even nice. Just don't be an asshole. I think that usually is good advice. But hey, that's me.

You do you.

Blind Because every ones an asshole

[igualitarist]

If i am confident i am not going to fall in love with her again, i'll just fuck her and vanish.

I already did it twice with ex girlfriends, and its amazing. Yep, a little bit vengeance in those cases cleans your soul.

[Sluvs]

Blind Because every ones an asshole

Jesus, man. Are you okay? That is a pretty negative way to look at thing, then again I suppose you can say that I am way too positive.

[Deleted]

Jesus, man. Are you okay? That is a pretty negative way to look at thing, then again I suppose you can say that I am way too positive.

You will see in time.

[exochaft]

Either way, I'd still talk to her, especially if she's having troubles with some serious life issue... going from serious girlfriend material to separated doesn't mean that you don't care about a person on a basic level anymore. If she cheated on me, and it was a conversation about getting back together, I'd probably shut down that conversation. Been happily married for almost 15 years, and I'm especially happy to be removed from such constant girlfriend and dating dramas.

[Smokinya]

Honestly no matter what ends a relationship after its over I block them on everything and never think or talk to them ever again. So I would slam the door in her face and call the cops if she didn't get off my property. Life's too short to look back at the past. Always need to keep moving forward. I know what I'm worth and my self-respect is worth more than some girl. There's almost 4 billion out there after all, I'm sure I could find one more of them that would like me.

[Deleted]

Ditch that hoe.

[Smokinya]

Oh, i see. So literally everyone that cheated, even if it was just once, will never be able to be faithful to someone else? What? That is pretty insane, but okay i suppose.

The self worth point i can actually understand, but if your confidence or your sense of self worth linked to someone else... I don't think that's good. I mean, i get it, you would be feeling bad because you are selling yourself short. But what I'm trying to say here is the following: Your sense of self worth should depend on anyone but yourself. Sure, if you feel bad about coming back to her then you absolutely should not do it. But if you got over it and want to try again, I do not think that is bad at all. This just looks like you have a wounded pride.

The third point only works if the person is a sociopath. People are complicated ball of feelings, and feelings rarely operate on logic. If the person is an asshole, yeah , they might think that, but i like to think that most people are not assholes.

Well, you absolutely should not make them a priority. At all. But texting back or having lunch with them once is not really giving them priority. If you are giving her priority, then you should go out or talk to them.

I am assuming that the person got over the cheater. If the person is not over the cheater, then its a completely different beast.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. It will always be in the back of their mind. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but people don't change. If you think they do you're in for a rude awakening. They can pretend to change, but they can't fight the nature that lives inside of them forever.

[Shadowferal]

Trust is like a sheet a fine glass, more fragile than an eggshell, but worth more than gold. Break it, and it doesn't matter how it gets glued, taped...you'll always see the cracks first, thereby becoming worthless.

[SpellCleave]

As the title suggests,

imagine if your ex girlfriend came back after months and months of spending time in other relationships and she says "i came here to normally talk to you" or "i came with no bad intentions, i only want to know how life is going"

What do you do?
Take into account that she cheated on you, dumped you and refused to talk about it and then she wildly appears again.

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Wait, we can't edit titles on this website? Woah.

You give her the coldest of attitude/shoulder. Blunt as hell and tell them to go away for ever. Be colder than the icy winds of northrend. Let those winds consume your soul, and project it all unto her.

[Sluvs]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. It will always be in the back of their mind. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but people don't change. If you think they do you're in for a rude awakening. They can pretend to change, but they can't fight the nature that lives inside of them forever.

Yeah. Sorry but i could not disagree more. I saw 3 people, extremely close to me, change. And I mean REAL changes. From water to wine kinda of way, and they never went back, not even once.

I changed a lot, if my past self could see me know, he definitely would not recognize me.

So, yeah, that's bullshit.