NASA finds ‘ancient organic material’ on Mars,continues search despite Doom’s warning

[Jtbrig7390]

NASA finds ‘ancient organic material’ on Mars, continues search despite Doom’s warnings

https://www.pcgamer.com/nasa-finds-a...ffer-pcgamertw

Earlier today, NASA reported that its Mars Curiosity rover made some curious new discoveries on the Red Planet. Alas, still no aliens: the rover found some rocks—some billion-year-old rocks—containing "ancient organic material." There was also mention of some "mysterious" methane fluctuations in Mars' atmosphere, but I'm more concerned with the ancient organic stuff, which, it should be noted, does not mean ancient living stuff. Organic material can be produced without life. But still.

If videogames have taught us anything, it's that nothing good comes from Mars. I'll tell you what comes from Mars: Hell. Hell comes from Mars, NASA, and it's only been two years since we cleaned up the last incident of Mars Hell. This is all written down: the Union Aerospace Corporation went digging around Mars—quite possibly lured in by the discovery of ancient organic material—one thing led to another, and they opened a portal to Hell. Because that's what happens when you go digging around Mars.

There is a silver lining: as we mention above and NASA was quick to point out, "while commonly associated with life, organic molecules also can be created by non-biological processes and are not necessarily indicators of life," which is encouraging. No portals to Hell have opened as of yet. Less encouraging is what Thomas Zurbuchen, associate administrator at NASA's Science Mission Directorate, had to say:

"With these new findings, Mars is telling us to stay the course and keep searching for evidence of life. I'm confident that our ongoing and planned missions will unlock even more breathtaking discoveries on the Red Planet."

Mate, Mars is telling you to leave well enough alone before you open another portal to Hell. What do we stand to gain from these missions anyway? A deeper understanding of our universe and our place in it? Answers to life's biggest questions? Invaluable geological and meteorological data? The innumerable technological advances which space explorations have given us? Uh-huh. But is that really worth the risk?

10/10 headline

[GennGreymane]

Im ready

https://www.space.ca/wp-content/uplo...doomhelmet.gif

[Noomz]

https://www.pcgamer.com/nasa-finds-a...ffer-pcgamertw



10/10 headline

But the stuff in Doom is about humanity setting up bases on Mars and creating portals to Hell for energy. It's got fuck all to do with finding life on Mars...

[Ealyssa]

BY THE EMPEROR BE PURGED

[GuruGoof]

Bring it back on Earth.

- - - Updated - - -

What can go wrong?

[Nihilan]

Stay the course NASA. We need as many of those hell portals fancy organic space rocks as possible.

(Definitely not the devil irl).

[barackopala]

But the stuff in Doom is about humanity setting up bases on Mars and creating portals to Hell for energy. It's got fuck all to do with finding life on Mars...

Games journalism, if it has space it surely is game related boies!!1

Now i wanna get a The Dig remastered, but i hated the puzzles tho

[The Stormbringer]

Good to see PC Gamer still has a sense of humor. They were the only gaming magazine I followed back in the day.

[Powerogue]

Clearly what we stand to gain is opening a portal to hell, killing all the demons in it, and conquering it for ourselves. Sounds good to me!

[Belize]

[IMG]https://spikeybits.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/2016-10-11_1257-e1501963260549.jpg[/IMG

BY THE EMPEROR BE PURGED

Psh, Gay Knights.
Making a chapter entirely out of psyker daemon chow. What a stupid idea.

[Aitch]

Organic material != life. We’ve known vitalism to be bullshit since Friedrich Wöhler synthesized urea in 1828.

[Ealyssa]

Psh, Gay Knights.
Making a chapter entirely out of psyker daemon chow. What a stupid idea.

Arco-flagellation is all you deserve, heretic scum.

[dextersmith]

If videogames have taught us anything [...]

What a joke.

[Jastall]

But the stuff in Doom is about humanity setting up bases on Mars and creating portals to Hell for energy. It's got fuck all to do with finding life on Mars...

You know how it is. First it's ''well we only need a sample for study!'' and then before you know it there's portals to Hell everywhere and giant flesh monsters trying to eat us.

[Strawberry]

That reminds me, I should really play the new Doom, even though I don't like shooters.
For old time sake.

[Belize]

Arco-flagellation is all you deserve, heretic scum.

For Chaos!

[Deleted]

Let's face it already: there is nothing worth of our interest, time and tax money on that barren planet.

They will keep releasing "new findings" and claim all sorts of interesting connections to alien life, but it's all to secure funding and extending programs.

[SirCowdog]

Let's face it already: there is nothing worth of our interest, time and tax money on that barren planet.

They will keep releasing "new findings" and claim all sorts of interesting connections to alien life, but it's all to secure funding and extending programs.

The only possible thing of worth I can think of would be as an alternative launch platform for further exploration of the rest of the solar system.

The moon could already serve this purpose, due to similar traits of lower gravity and little to no atmosphere, thus making launches easier. Mars would have the single advantage of being in a different orbit than the Moon/Earth, giving different vectors and timing for various sling-shot trajectories around the system; balanced against the fact that it's further away from the moon.

I don't know. Unless they find valuable minerals or something on Mars, I agree that there's not much point of going there very often. Drones should be the extent of our exploration. Everything else we can do on the moon(Low-G bases, colony experiments, launch platform).