After having a friend and their kids live with me for a month

[Laerrus]

Heh, look at all the virgin basement dwellers trying to act like they know how to parent.

[TirielWoW]

What is it about your kids that makes you think they are worth it?

I am not a parent. However, I have a nephew. There's nothing "about him" that makes me think he's "worth" anything. It's not anything he does. It's not anything he doesn't do.

It's just him. It's my little bud Will, with the adorable smile and my brother's eyes. His mama's dimples.

That's my little brother's baby. I would die for that kid. I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt him, without pause, and without regret. That's my nephew and I will always have his back. It's not based on anything he does or doesn't do. It's not me making a list and coming up with reasons to "value" him. He's precious simply by virtue of breathing, as far as I'm concerned.

[HavokHeart]

Um if they screamed the whole time and didn't listen to their parents than your friends are not good parents.

Exactly this. My daughter has always been polite and good tempered. You have to train a child how to act. Screaming to get what they want is the default setting; Crying to get milk and other care is instinctual. It also doesn't help that many parents feed their kids shitloads of sugar which obviously wont help the situation.

[Celista]

I am not a parent. However, I have a nephew. There's nothing "about him" that makes me think he's "worth" anything. It's not anything he does. It's not anything he doesn't do.

It's just him. It's my little bud Will, with the adorable smile and my brother's eyes. His mama's dimples.

That's my little brother's baby. I would die for that kid. I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt him, without pause, and without regret. That's my nephew and I will always have his back. It's not based on anything he does or doesn't do. It's not me making a list and coming up with reasons to "value" him. He's precious simply by virtue of breathing, as far as I'm concerned.

That's how I feel about my dog

[wonderlust]

I don't have any kids, but I imagine that when they're your kids instead of someone else's, you're a) much more willing to put up with their shit and b) fond of the loving moments you have with them, which is, according to most parents I've heard, what makes up for it.

[TirielWoW]

That's how I feel about my dog

I love my dog a lot. But I would put my nephew's well being over my dog's well being without pause.

It's good that you don't want kids. I don't see why you have to be so condescending about it, tho.

[Celista]

I love my dog a lot. But I would put my nephew's well being over my dog's well being without pause.

It's good that you don't want kids. I don't see why you have to be so condescending about it, tho.

I wasn't being condescending. In that post above the one you quoted I made sure to point out that I wasn't judging people for having kids because I honestly wanted to know. I'm glad you were able to take offense once again to where none was intended, however.

Also I would put my dog's well being over literally everyone else, sorry you don't love your dog that much.

[TirielWoW]

I wasn't being condescending. In that post above the one you quoted I made sure to point out that I wasn't judging people for having kids because I honestly wanted to know. I'm glad you were able to take offense once again to where none was intended, however.

Also I would put my dog's well being over literally everyone else besides myself, sorry you don't love your dog that much.

LOL Case in point.

[Celista]

LOL Case in point.

Girl if you're going to accuse me of being condescending then I'm going act like it, since this seems to be a recurring theme for you acting offended where none was intended.

[TirielWoW]

Girl if you're going to accuse me of being condescending then I'm going act like it, since this seems to be a recurring theme for you acting offended where none was intended.

Okay whatever you say. You weren't at all being condescending when you asked a parent what makes his/her children worth caring about, nor were you being at all condescending when you first compared my nephew to a dog, and then suggested that I was a bad person because I put my nephew's well-being over the well-being of a pet. K. Whatever you say.

[Celista]

Okay whatever you say. You weren't at all being condescending when you asked a parent what makes his/her children worth caring about, nor were you being at all condescending when you first compared my nephew to a dog, and then suggested that I was a bad person because I put my nephew's well-being over the well-being of a pet. K. Whatever you say.

Yes that is exactly what I am saying because I wanted to know specifically what created those feelings for that particular parent. The fact that you feel insulted by my talking about how much I love my dog because you thought I was "comparing" just indicates that you have some serious issues.

Also yes, I do feel bad for your dog because your dog is YOUR dog and your nephew is not your kid. Your nephew already has his parents putting him first but I guess no one gives a shit about your dog, hopefully nothing happens to your poor dog and it has to fend for itself.

[Tommi]

Kids are kids... if you are the uncle that shows them more access to whatever... you will be THAT uncle.

Wait, what do you mean by that?

[Stelio Kontos]

It works out for the best, because from my experience, folks who are adamant about not wanting kids usually seem like they'd be shit parents anyway, so they're actually doing society a huge favor.

And honestly, anyone who'd put an animal's life ahead of a child probably shouldn't be trusted with either.

Honestly, I'd probably save any young child before I'd save a pet. Sure, I'd save both in a perfect world, but if I have to make the call, the pet dies and the kid lives.

[P for Pancetta]

Modern western society sucks at raising children, back in the olde days you'd just smack a screaming kid until it learned to shut up, now parents just deal with it because of some unfounded idea that they'll have happier or better kids when they grow up. Granted in their first two years they can be menacing but if you have no control over your childrens behaviour after that age you're doing something wrong. I don't blame other parents for not knowing how to raise a kid because in modern society nobody teaches you how to be one.

[TheBeardedOne]

Any of you saying kids aren't worth having...why do people do it....I would never put up with a kid...ect. ect.....stop and think for a minute. YOU were once a kid. Wonder how many older people thought the same thing when they saw you.

and I knew what a cunt i was till i grew up around 20, why the fuck would I subject myself to that.

- - - Updated - - -

It works out for the best, because from my experience, folks who are adamant about not wanting kids usually seem like they'd be shit parents anyway, so they're actually doing society a huge favor.

And honestly, anyone who'd put an animal's life ahead of a child probably shouldn't be trusted with either.

Honestly, I'd probably save any young child before I'd save a pet. Sure, I'd save both in a perfect world, but if I have to make the call, the pet dies and the kid lives.

to be far I would let both die, not risking my lifr for that shit

[Fabled]

On purpose?

Sadly. 2 from her first marriage, 3 from her current. She and her ex/current husbands don't believe in contraceptives, because "it goes against our religious beliefs"...so you can guess how well that went.

[Raldazzar]

Eh it's 50/50 child rearing and temperament. Kids have their own personalities from birth, but parenting skills also make a difference. I think most kids engage in the same behavior types that are appropriate for their age, despite differences in parenting.

I find it amusing how you claim to have no interest in kids of your own etc. show a clear lack of understanding towards parenthood.. yet still try and tell people things like 'it's 50/50 child rearing and temperament' as if you'd have any idea xD

Edit: 1 kid, 6 years old, girl. absolute angel. sure, she can be a terror. but the joy I have experienced in the last 6 years due to her outweighs any experience before it. by a mile.

I would even go as far as to say those people who say they don't want kids are the ones who have it wrong, we are hard wired for this shite.. it is also indicative of today society. the selfishness etc.. god forbid you deal with a screaming kid for a little bit.. the horror! putting somebody before yourself! aaaaaaaaaaah

Parenting is one of the things, much like war. where you have to have been there to really understand it. other people from the outside obviously can comment, but I will treat their comments just as that of a screaming child. because until you have done it.. you don't really know.

[d00mGuArD]

I'm not judging parents, I just think that's interesting. I assume a lot of it is related to biological drive.

In my opinion they can't admit to what huge mistake they made
Imagine the social backlash if someone had a kid and then said "it was such bad idea to have kids, i hate kids"
You make kids, you have to like them, pretend to like them, or convince yourself to like them

[Daedius]

1-5 year old humans don't exist, only little monsters.

[Melusine]

I decided I never want to have kids. I was being a kind friend but that backfired on me. They have 3 kids: 1 year, 2 and a 5-year-old. The kids screamed literally 24/7 and they never listen to their parents. My friends are good parents but damn their kids are annoying. I did get compensation but the amount of loss sleep can't be repayed. I know why parents need breaks. I commend all parents of small humans.

They are good parents, but couldn't keep control over their kids? I know kids will be kids, but you'd be surprised what just paying attention to them, reading to them and playing with them can do to curb that early. I don't recall too many times when my daughter drove me nuts the same way you're describing. She's an adult, now, and I raised her mostly by myself after I got custody of her. I was a single parent father to a teenage daughter her entire teenage years. I never really thought I needed a break from her.

But I do have a nickel's worth of free advice for you. Especially if you are married or currently in a relationshit with someone... those friends will erode the arrangement. In the end, it is also possible that they will not be your friends after it is all over with. It is just the nature of the beast. Not much you can do, but, to their credit, they are paying you, so that might make a difference on the bond between friends. At least they are not being shitless lay-abouts.