Henril Cavill Hesitant to Date in #MeToo Era

[Omedon]

There isn't a morally unassailable "believe the survivors" movement.

Whose career/life was ruined by false allegations so far?

I only wish you were right.

“Believe survivors” is a resounding battle cry in the war against rape culture. It is well intended, but like everything in this circus of social media the generally positive idea that assault survivors overcoming the pressure to keep quiet should be wholeheartedly believed and celebrated for their courage has indeed created an opening to ruin careers and/or lives.

An example that comes to mind is Eric Arndt, known in Pro Wrestling as Enzo Amore. Or at least he was until the truth of a sexual encounter was retroactively edited to make him out as a sexual assailant and he was subsequently drummed out of the industry, later to be exonerated and pointedly not re-hired.

Guy was/is seemingly a bit of a dickbag, but he is an example and you asked for one.

[Total Crica]

“Believe survivors” is a resounding battle cry in the war against rape culture.

Bullshit. "Listen to survivors and investigate their claims" is the battle cry in the war against rape.

[Deleted]

Spoken like a man who's never had a bad date with a woman who turned out to be angry and bitter and just looking to be offended.

Wtf did you do that made someone bitter and twisted after one date?

[Kathandira]

Sad men who don't know how to talk to women. Such a shame that some people don't know how to hit on a woman in a respectful manner. There is nothing to fear if you have some class when talking to a woman.

[Omedon]

Bullshit. "Listen to survivors and investigate their claims" is the battle cry in the war against rape.

That would be a preferable battle cry in due process, but the counter it gets is “Stop grilling her! PTSD! Just believe her you misogynistic monsters,” or something to that effect.

The impression given is that the examination that due process would demand is inhumane torture of a traumatized victim.

This is what I have observed as this movement has evolved in its social media zealotry.

[Total Crica]

That would be a preferable battle cry in due process, but the counter it gets is “Stop grilling her! PTSD! Just believe her you misogynistic monsters,” or something to that effect.

The impression given is that the examination that due process would demand is inhumane torture of a traumatized victim.

This is what I have observed as this movement has evolved in its social media zealotry.

Yes, some idiots don't understand the battle cry, that doesn't make the battle cry different then what it actually is, however.

[AeneasBK]

Sad men who don't know how to talk to women. Such a shame that some people don't know how to hit on a woman in a respectful manner. There is nothing to fear if you have some class when talking to a woman.

He was fat and unpopular at school; maybe he never thought he'd ever get a chance to talk to girls; then life served him a curve ball and he winds up as Superman.

[XangXu]

I understand what he’s talking about. These days I keep my eyes to myself if i’m walking down the street, and if a woman passes me, I end up averting my eyes.

I do this because I feel like if I do anything, even smile or nod or acknowledge her presence, I might be considered a creep, or a stalker or a rapest. I used to hold the door open for people when going into stores but I won’t any longer for women. I’ll do so for men, the elderly or little kids but never women my age. If I hold the door open for them, they’ll think i’m just being nice to get into their pants.

It’s a strange world these days. Women never used to give me anxiety, but these days, I feel like whenever they are around i’m walking on egg shells.

[Orby]

The whole #Metoo thing and it's whole exploitative use is a huge problem in the celebrity culture mainly and mostly, I don't think it's a massive problem in real life, we normal folk are bit more down to earth, and I haven't seen much #Metoo around me, most of the women I know are more touchy-feely flirty than the men, especially here in Essex. then again we have that reputation :P

The trouble with celebrities is they think with the dollar on their mind, and the #Metoo thing is just another money maker with the exploit to cause emotional harm. Which is a shame because the whole #Metoo thing started innocent enough, and I am sure it's still used with the right intent, but it quickly became corrupted like most innocent things these days.

[Omedon]

Yes, some idiots don't understand the battle cry, that doesn't make the battle cry different then what it actually is, however.

I don’t disagree with you, but perception is reality, and the language I’ve seen time and again in these cases as they play out on social media is “you are brave and I believe you,” because that’s the “accepted” sentiment.

Hopefully the system in the actual law works more like what you say, but for people in the public eye, they’re still done by then.

[Kathandira]

He was fat and unpopular at school; maybe he never thought he'd ever get a chance to talk to girls; then life served him a curve ball and he winds up as Superman.

Yeah, but you can't hang on to who you used to be forever. It is expected that after so long, one would mature and gain some wisdom and experience.

I surely wasn't a male model when I was younger, and I was awkward socially as well. However I never had an issue with people thinking I was a creep or that I was harassing them. I simply treated people with respect.

But of course, each person has their own unique lives and experiences.

[Total Crica]

perception is reality

"Listen to survivor's stories and investigate them" doesn't mean whatever you want it to mean.

[AeneasBK]

Yeah, but you can't hang on to who you used to be forever. It is expected that after so long, one would mature and gain some wisdom and experience.

I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but isn't most of the development that makes you into "who you are" going on in your teens/puberty? You become more self aware, start processing shit yourself without having to be told how to feel about stuff etc.

[Kathandira]

I understand what he’s talking about. These days I keep my eyes to myself if i’m walking down the street, and if a woman passes me, I end up averting my eyes.

I do this because I feel like if I do anything, even smile or nod or acknowledge her presence, I might be considered a creep, or a stalker or a rapest. I used to hold the door open for people when going into stores but I won’t any longer for women. I’ll do so for men, the elderly or little kids but never women my age. If I hold the door open for them, they’ll think i’m just being nice to get into their pants.

It’s a strange world these days. Women never used to give me anxiety, but these days, I feel like whenever they are around i’m walking on egg shells.

Don't be afraid to give a friendly smile to someone, just don't expect one back, and don't get offended if they don't even look at you and keep walking. And holding the door for people follows the same rules.

Kindness comes with no expectations, if you expect a thank you, or a return smile, then you weren't doing it be kind, you were doing it to benefit somehow.

Very few people will give you crap for being genuinely kind. Just ignore their negative response, and keep moving.

[Daws001]

Somewhere, Aziz Ansari is nodding.

[Bodakane]

I only wish you were right.

“Believe survivors” is a resounding battle cry in the war against rape culture. It is well intended, but like everything in this circus of social media the generally positive idea that assault survivors overcoming the pressure to keep quiet should be wholeheartedly believed and celebrated for their courage has indeed created an opening to ruin careers and/or lives.

An example that comes to mind is Eric Arndt, known in Pro Wrestling as Enzo Amore. Or at least he was until the truth of a sexual encounter was retroactively edited to make him out as a sexual assailant and he was subsequently drummed out of the industry, later to be exonerated and pointedly not re-hired.

Guy was/is seemingly a bit of a dickbag, but he is an example and you asked for one.

WADR, that is bullshit.

He was suspended because the WWE has a Zero tolerance policy on this kind of stuff. He was fired because he didn't;t notify them of the investigation, which was in his contract. Nothing that happened to him was because anyone believed the accuser over him.

The charges were dropped because there was insufficient evidence, not because it was made up or she recanted.

[AeneasBK]

especially here in Essex.

#Metoo is a Male movement in Essex. Guys just want to go to the pub and enjoy a few drinks with friends unaccosted, is that too much to ask :O

[XangXu]

Don't be afraid to give a friendly smile to someone, just don't expect one back, and don't get offended if they don't even look at you and keep walking. And holding the door for people follows the same rules.

Kindness comes with no expectations, if you expect a thank you, or a return smile, then you weren't doing it be kind, you were doing it to benefit somehow.

Very few people will give you crap for being genuinely kind. Just ignore their negative response, and keep moving.

I do smile and nod to people in the street, and because i’m Canadian, I often gets smiles and waves back. All the time actually.

I just don’t acknowledge women. It’s too dangerous.

[Bodakane]

Somewhere, Aziz Ansari is nodding.

He's the perfect example of someone falsely accused and everyone came to his defense and he didn't lose his career.

[Kathandira]

I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but isn't most of the development that makes you into "who you are" going on in your teens/puberty? You become more self aware, start processing shit yourself without having to be told how to feel about stuff etc.

While those are formative year, growth never stops, unless you aren't interested in growing any more. No one can force a person to continue to observe and learn, I can only hope people do so.