why do people see it as a problem if u dont want to date ugly people?

[ohwell]

they say u are shallow as if there is something wrong with wanting to date people who u think are physically attractive... how can they think it is wrong to want to be with someone who is physically attractive instead of someone who is repulsive to u?

It's funny Grindr is basically saying "you're a bigot if you don't like XXXX(so far it's been if you're not attracted to certain race/ethnicity, trans, fat, or now hiv positive people) and they're getting backlash saying I guess all gay people need to have sex with women or it's sexist right? No response yet they're continuing this ridiculous video series. Yupp I totally want a trans person as a gay man who either has a vagina or a mutilated vagina that's shaped into a penis....so bigoted for being....gay?

[Kheirn]

He literally just quoted you the definition of the word 'ugly' from a reputable source that explicitly states exactly what he's been saying this entire time. You're objectively wrong. He's using the word perfectly fine linguistically. Your tangential argument about the use of simple versus easy doesn't change the fact that you were wrong about telling him that he was using the word 'ugly' incorrectly. He wasn't. You just don't like the connotation of saying "I think you are ugly" versus "I think you are not attractive" even though they mean exactly the same thing. That speaks to how you feel about yourself and how you feel about how other people feel about you and not how he's communicating the idea he's trying to have a discussion about. It's not any more or less complicated than that.

I could say that I think you're an ass. I could say douchebag instead since they mean the same thing. Does that mean that you objectively are a douchebag? I wouldn't know since I only have my own view. Now, if everyone who's met you would say you're an ass, then saying that you're an ass is correct.

The OP said they don't date ugly people, i.e. those they don't find attractive. Thus OP implies that those they don't find attractive are objectively not attractive. Was it intended? No idea, but that what's the OP said.

[Deleted]

It's funny Grindr is basically saying "you're a bigot if you don't like XXXX(so far it's been if you're not attracted to certain race/ethnicity, trans, fat, or now hiv positive people) and they're getting backlash saying I guess all gay people need to have sex with women or it's sexist right? No response yet they're continuing this ridiculous video series. Yupp I totally want a trans person as a gay man who either has a vagina or a mutilated vagina that's shaped into a penis....so bigoted for being....gay?

https://medium.com/@QSE/when-you-say...y-aa6fdcf59aca

When You Say “I Would Never Date A Trans Person,” It’s Transphobic. Here’s Why.

There has been a lot of discussion lately about transgender people, specifically about whether you are transphobic or not if you have a “preference” against dating trans people. Many well-meaning allies, friends, and family members of transgender people will say things like: “Well, I’m glad that Sara is living her life out loud, but I just don’t think I could ever date a trans person. It’s just a really personal preference for me.”

These people, and many others in the world, feel that it’s okay if trans people want to be out and live their life as a woman, a man, or a non-binary person, but ultimately, they say that they are just “not attracted” to any transgender people. Before we talk about how that sentiment alone is transphobic

[Deleted]

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dic...y/english/ugly

ugly adjective
uk ​ /ˈʌɡ.li/ us ​ /ˈʌɡ.li/
ugly adjective (NOT ATTRACTIVE)

B1 unpleasant to look at; not attractive:

lol...

They're trying to teach you about language. Still, they don't know what taste means or how it really works. I'm sure they're of those who think "taste is purely subjective", forgetting that there's is too a big component of objectivity regarding taste.

[Algorath]

They don't understand biology it would seem. Men will usually chase beauty and youth whereas women will usually chase status and money.

Ah yes of course. Biology. The reason "women chase status and money". /sarcasm

[Granyala]

Ah yes of course. Biology. The reason "women chase status and money". /sarcasm

Well I wouldn't call it "biology" alone but it is pure logical reasoning:
good social status and wealth paired with physical fitness = best chance of producing healthy offspring and keeping them alive.

[Independent voter]

The problem is when you have a 3 who refuses to date 3s because he finds them unattractive. He'll only date 5s or higher. He wants a porn star girl or higher.

Dude is set for a life of misery and some poor 3 girl is without a date.

[niil945]

I could say that I think you're an ass. I could say douchebag instead since they mean the same thing. Does that mean that you objectively are a douchebag? I wouldn't know since I only have my own view. Now, if everyone who's met you would say you're an ass, then saying that you're an ass is correct.

So you're confused about objective and subjective?

The OP said they don't date ugly people, i.e. those they don't find attractive. Thus OP implies that those they don't find attractive are objectively not attractive. Was it intended? No idea, but that what's the OP said.

Uh, lol? That's called a strawman. Reading into what someone writes doesn't change what was written. Implied means the issue lies with how you interpret what was written, not with what was actually written. Thus the problem is in your head.

[Soxoffender]

they say u are shallow as if there is something wrong with wanting to date people who u think are physically attractive... how can they think it is wrong to want to be with someone who is physically attractive instead of someone who is repulsive to u?

If your only criteria for deciding to date someone is whether or not you find them physically attractive then that is shallow.

[Deleted]

Attractiveness is a point of view.

No matter how ugly you are, ther will ALWAYS be people who will think you are pretty. And if you are trully physically ugly, there are people who have a festish for you.

Granted, there is a pattern of features that MOST people find attractive, like for example Jessica Alba, but falling outside that pattern, even totally outside the pattern, doesn't mean no one will ever find you attractive.

[melodramocracy]

They don't. Next.

[Synros]

Because people who refuse to take care of themselves, but feel entitled to an attractive partner, are a fascinating bundle of double standards.

It's funny, because those "ugly" people who complain about nobody wanting to date them, tend to not want to date ugly people themselves...

Even more hypocrisy.

[niil945]

They're trying to teach you about language. Still, they don't know what taste means or how it really works. I'm sure they're of those who think "taste is purely subjective", forgetting that there's is too a big component of objectivity regarding taste.

You can say that the OP's position isn't sensitive, I'll grant you that any day of the week. But the debate has never been regarding whether the OP was sensitive or not. There's nothing objective about taste unless it is universal. And if it's universal, then it's not a subjective truth, it's an objective one.

[Zorgulon]

lol... if they are not physically attractive they are ugly... ugly means not attractive...

If you find someone ugly, they are not attractive. But if you find someone not attractive, they're not necessarily ugly.

You're not attracted to your mother or sister, right? By your logic, that makes them ugly.

[Bryntrollian]

Why even waste energy worrying about what ugly people think of you?

[sam86]

Because people who refuse to take care of themselves, but feel entitled to an attractive partner, are a fascinating bundle of double standards.

what about if u do take care of urself ? I hit the gym since ages now and i'm proud to call myself gym addict, i don't want to date a girl who is fridge raider, for start i'm sure that my biggest time consuming hobby - workout and fitness and gym - is not in her schedule at all
I love to live healthy eat healthy and care a lot about drink water enough daily and have my sleep time, can u find someone who is ugly do those stuff too ? I had to sacrifice a lot of my videogame playing time to fit workout in it

[Raelbo]

they say u are shallow as if there is something wrong with wanting to date people who u think are physically attractive... how can they think it is wrong to want to be with someone who is physically attractive instead of someone who is repulsive to u?

The issue isn't about choosing to not date someone who you find physically unattractive, it's about choosing not to date someone who you think society doesn't find physically attractive.

As has already been well established in this thread, what qualifies as attractive/unattractive is subjective, yet there are society mandated objective criteria for what constitutes attractiveness.

If you judge someone based on how they compare to a the supposed standards set by society (which in general are just ridiculous because they don't represent real people) as opposed to what you find attractive, then that is shallow. In the end it comes down to the reason why you find the person repulsive - is it because you genuinely feel that way, or simply because that's how you've been conditioned by society to view beauty, and you don't want to be seen to be with an "ugly" person.


And just to be blunt here: although there are exceptions, most people are actually physically attractive to most other people, especially if they put a bit of effort into looking their best.

[Rotted]

Because people who refuse to take care of themselves, but feel entitled to an attractive partner, are a fascinating bundle of double standards.

Just want to point out this is a highly important word in this sentence.

I know a few people who don't take care themselves as much as they should be are attracted to attractive people. There's nothing wrong with that, it's their own personal preference and you do see some "odd" match ups with couple sometimes. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with that, but the moment a person comes across as feeling entitled to someone opposed to just being being attracted, that's a whole lot of nope

[PACOX]

Why can't you just admit that you're shallow? Whats wrong with being shallow if you're shallow?

[Deleted]

Why can't you just admit that you're shallow? Whats wrong with being shallow if you're shallow?

I actually completely agree with this

I'm shallow

I admit this freely - that way any prospective partners know exactly what they're getting and no one is getting hoodwinked