I know what you mean, I am pretty much the same, except that I do not have enough time to raid 5x a week in order to clear content AND learn with... well people that are equipped with more "normal" levels of skill. You know, the ones that are actually challenged when asked to FOLLOW already laid out instructions? I raided for 8.5 years and trust me, most kills did not come easy to us even with damn good raid leads and guides.
If you try to combine "want to learn myself" with normal skilled gameplay, you'll be hard pressed to find like minded individuals, because the effort of learning stands in no relations to the reward of killing stuff.
Only two solutions:
1) Get into a top guild and be one of the few who actually derives strategies. Though I am pretty sure that even these people read up on bosses abilities to formulate possible counter tactics. Standing there getting hit, trying to figure out how a given mechanic works... I don't know if anybody really does that anymore. Not when Blizzard gives you a friggin blue print ingame.
2) be extremely lucky to find a stable mom&pop guild that does stuff this way and accept that you are most likely never clear the content while it is current.