Advice on school for my kids?

[The Stormbringer]

Unrelated to school (and you may not care what I have to say), I'd definitely advise getting your kids to do chores. Make sure they know how to do laundry, wash dishes, even cook once they're old enough to safely handle knives and the like. Even occasional yard work is a great idea. The more you can teach them how to do on their own, the more independent and capable they'll be when they're older.

[Draco-Onis]

i mean, that sounds like common sense - and full of merit... would go without saying a decade ago. Are your kids already raised and grown? Or? I just worry about the level of influence coming from sources OTHER than home. Theyre very well raised at home, listen very well, use their manners (at least the one that can talk). Im far more concerned about the pre-teen through teen years.

Just wanna stay ahead of what i can, where I can... and schools are important. Wasnt sure if private school was the way to go considering the trade off. I dont imagine they'd be too receptive of my kids if for example, they didnt believe in a higher power. Maybe im wrong though - as I didnt go to a private school and have no idea how theyre ran.

least theyre both girls. id like to think peer influence/pressure is more prevalent among boys - but i could be wrong ;p Girls will come with their own challenges to my sanity, of that im sure.

My kids aren't fully grown yet but these are the lessons I have learned along the way I have a boy and a girl. As for other sources of influence it helps to think back of when you were growing up though not sure what your relationship with your parents were. Other influences are only really an issue if you don't teach them about it. It pays to be honest with your kids. They are also born with their own personalities so keep that in mind on how you approach these subjects. You should always assume that if you don't teach them in time their friends and social media will do it in a horrible way for you instead.

[Kathandira]

Fair enough.

My point is, both sides of the field attack the other, all the time. The older I get, the more moderate I become, because each side is so full of extremists and alarmists. I try to avoid pointing fingers, or taking sides and go to the "meat" of the content.

Totally. I'm finding myself back stepping into the shadows more and more on these topics. It just gets too ugly way too fast.

[klepp0906]

Fair enough.

My point is, both sides of the field attack the other, all the time. The older I get, the more moderate I become, because each side is so full of extremists and alarmists. I try to avoid pointing fingers, or taking sides and go to the "meat" of the content. I didn't read your response to the OP at first, but it was what I would consider a smart assessment.

theres a ton of that here. I saw some of it coming, but not as much as is present. My OP certainly wasnt meant as an attack, how could it be outside of someone taking it personally? (offended?) The replies were personal as they were addressed to me. Therein lies the difference.

That being said - wisdom in your post. Everyone should strive for being "moderate" so to speak. Problem is, nobody is willing to be true to themselves, or objective nowadays. I try to be objective as i can, the difference is - sometimes that isnt politically correct and therein lies a major crux of the issue.

also getting off topic :P

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wife got back to me. Safe places/spaces required in all schools in her district across all grade levels. Says they also train other districts in SEL (assume thats an acronym alluding to the aforementioned)

says she's heard of them in colleges, but is unsure if its law or not. (imagine being old enough to fight and die in war, and needing a safe space to trigger-out in your class room)

[fiestatastic]

unfortunately the safe space thing is true. its required. wife is a teacher. (5th grade, no idea if its only up to a certain age - ill have to ask).

It's not required in California schools. If a kid gets angry or acts out they either take a time out in the corner (usually sitting in a chair facing the corner) or get sent to the office. Kids still get detention, referrals, and suspensions.

I have friends and relatives with school age kids in Maryland, Texas, Nevada, New Mexico, and Arizona and none of them have pillows and teddy bears in their classes. Your wife's school seems weird honestly.

[agentsi]

I appreciate you, and everyone else seeing past the "opinions" part which ive tried to make clear several times. Has little to do with education however (hope you werent insinuating, just the tone the thread has taken unfortunately). Like i said, my wife is a teacher so shes probably even more invested in this than I am.

its more of a "getting my toes wet" sort of thing. A first pass. As i said, we're still a few years out or so... and eventually will be visiting schools etc. Of course much more qualified resources exist, and the time for them will come.

I just notice a lot of the off topic threads posted here, and figured this one could harbor at least some serious discussion. Coupled with the fact that (as i also mentioned) mmochamp doesnt seem to have a preponderance of either side relative to a lot of the other forums these days. (hell some, your straight up banned if you have conservative views).

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If you read my other replies, you will know there is no ill intent. Only offering advice based on a similar experience.

[Tack980]

unfortunately the safe space thing is true. its required. wife is a teacher. (5th grade, no idea if its only up to a certain age - ill have to ask).

Up to 5th grade? The heck? Kindergarten, fine. First grade, fine. Fifth, what? Fifth grade should be the transition grade, hormones kick in starting there and go to high gear by 6th grade. Kids need to be able to make due without one when that starts. What????

[chazus]

Im in quite the conundrum as I refuse to send my kids to public schools . they wont be turned into snowflakes. I dont want them indoctrinated with the pc/left wing agenda, I dont want them to see kids treat their teachers that they should be respecting like doormats due to todays teachers hands being tied, and I want to limit the collateral damage from potential friends.

This seems more of a You problem than a Public School problem. I'm not trying to criticize, but you're blaming a lot on the public school system.

Is the public school system trash? Yes. Definitely. However is it necessary? I also believe that too. I'm of the camp that homeschooling is far more damaging than any public system when it comes to 'actually becoming a person'.

You don't want all the things you listed above? Be a good parent. Your kids will end up like you said, quite possibly, if you toss them to school and go about your life. If you're involved with them, interact with them, then there isn't a worry. Nearly everyone goes through public school, and they turn out just fine.

It seems like you have an agenda already for your kids, and who you want them to be. That's.. well. Sad, I guess. Let your children grow up, be who they are, not who you want them to be. Sure, there are ideals you can instill in them. I was raised going through the (pre-buy) Boy Scouts, and also a single parent home. I learned to say please and thank you, and generally be a good person. Did I learn that in public school? No. Was school integral to being who I -am-? Yes.

[Noomz]

Ok, so i have 2 little ones, quickly coming up on school age.

i lean pretty conservative in the majority of ways. I'm also middle aged by most standards (should help ascertain my feelings on most agenda these days to my peers).

Im in quite the conundrum as I refuse to send my kids to public schools . they wont be turned into snowflakes. I dont want them indoctrinated with the pc/left wing agenda, I dont want them to see kids treat their teachers that they should be respecting like doormats due to todays teachers hands being tied, and I want to limit the collateral damage from potential friends. (yes i realize nowadays its impossible to limit wholly and I certainly wont touch on the internet. ugh).

trophies for showing up, and safe spaces(places?) whatever they call them, make me gag.

anyhow, thats plenty to make certain about where i stand. The problem comes with private schools. They wont be going anywhere hoity toity, as thats not in the budget. There are a few places locally that are reasonable but I'm finding (i was actually unaware) that the overwhelming majority (if not all) of the private schools, are also religious schools.

Now i want my kids indoctrinated with the catholic fairy tale about as much as I want them indoctrinated with politically correct dogma. Is this a case of my having to pick the lesser of the evils/choose my battle?

I have nothing against the majority of christian values/morals/ideals im just analytical and practical enough to realize that any magic man in the sky controlling all that is just as likely as santa clause coming down the chimney. Its my belief that god was invented as a means to explain the unexplainable, and as a means of control. A means to ensure most people follow or conform to said ideals. Definitely had its place in the world of thousands of years ago, but nowadays when people are a bit more educated, it blows the mind it still has the following it does.

Regardless - this isnt about why i believe what i believe, its about my options. Or perhaps if theres anyone in a similar boat, or that was in a similar boat - what did you do? What would you do?

Its scary as hell having to bring up kids in todays world, but theres no changing it now. I just know i refuse to be part of perpetuating or adding to the problem.

You're asking MMO-champ for parenting advice? Can I call social services on you over this? I feel like I should be able to.

[Coolthulhu]

Wow this explains so much about you

No wonder your worldview is so shallow and red, if you think it does.

[Celista]

Ok, so i have 2 little ones, quickly coming up on school age.

i lean pretty conservative in the majority of ways. I'm also middle aged by most standards (should help ascertain my feelings on most agenda these days to my peers).

Im in quite the conundrum as I refuse to send my kids to public schools . they wont be turned into snowflakes. I dont want them indoctrinated with the pc/left wing agenda, I dont want them to see kids treat their teachers that they should be respecting like doormats due to todays teachers hands being tied, and I want to limit the collateral damage from potential friends. (yes i realize nowadays its impossible to limit wholly and I certainly wont touch on the internet. ugh).

trophies for showing up, and safe spaces(places?) whatever they call them, make me gag.

anyhow, thats plenty to make certain about where i stand. The problem comes with private schools. They wont be going anywhere hoity toity, as thats not in the budget. There are a few places locally that are reasonable but I'm finding (i was actually unaware) that the overwhelming majority (if not all) of the private schools, are also religious schools.

Now i want my kids indoctrinated with the catholic fairy tale about as much as I want them indoctrinated with politically correct dogma. Is this a case of my having to pick the lesser of the evils/choose my battle?

I have nothing against the majority of christian values/morals/ideals im just analytical and practical enough to realize that any magic man in the sky controlling all that is just as likely as santa clause coming down the chimney. Its my belief that god was invented as a means to explain the unexplainable, and as a means of control. A means to ensure most people follow or conform to said ideals. Definitely had its place in the world of thousands of years ago, but nowadays when people are a bit more educated, it blows the mind it still has the following it does.

Regardless - this isnt about why i believe what i believe, its about my options. Or perhaps if theres anyone in a similar boat, or that was in a similar boat - what did you do? What would you do?

Its scary as hell having to bring up kids in todays world, but theres no changing it now. I just know i refuse to be part of perpetuating or adding to the problem.

I find it highly suspicious that you would craft a thread that insults both liberals and half of the right a few days after we had another thread about homeschooling recently.

[Dougie Cooper]

Every time I hear about other parents, it just makes me so much more grateful for my own. OP's confirmation bias is quite astounding too. "My wife's a teacher and this is what she says, so clearly all schools are like that." Well, my dad and sister are both teachers, and neither has ever witnessed any kind of "indoctrination," unless it's considered indoctrination to get kids to love music, art, and reading.

[Zoldor]

A few things:

1) You should have worked harder in life and pulled yourself up more to be able to afford to send your kids to the special school that teaches exactly like you want. Since you didn't you're not given special options that fit your specialized needs. Sorry, should have done better in life.

2) You're literally asking for a very niche thing that fits a way YOU think things should be. Essentially everything you are rallying against.

3) If your child gets a participation trophy are you going to take it away from them and tell them they did nothing?

Advice, move to the south. Your school won't have any leftist stuff in it, how do I know. I went to school in the south. Had plenty of republican indoctrination everyday, by my teachers. Hell I had history teachers that could barely admit they didn't win the Civil War. So again, make more money, move to an area that fits your ideals. You want to pick and chose your destiny in life and your childrens destiny, be better at life and make more money.

Otherwise, welcome to public school were your kids can learn something about choosing the right friends, making moral choices, and rejecting the left ideology that is SOOOOOO pumped into public schools. All that equality, fairness, and how bad trickle down economics is (haha that is a joke, no one will even talk about econ in an american public school).

TLDR; your fear about and concern about public school is forcing you to do exactly what you are railing against. Putting your kids in an echo chamber bubble that conforms to your ideals and thoughts so they come against no adversity in learning what you want them too. Basically, a safe space, for them to be as conservative as you deem, with no bad influence kids, so your children don't have any decisions to make or learn anything about actually attempting to think or make decisions. This way the only insights about the world come from you and they can have no idea about people who think differently than them or live differently. Ya know basically setting them up to be the poster children for identity politics and divisive living. (again a thing you probably despise when its outside your bubble).

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Every time I hear about other parents, it just makes me so much more grateful for my own. OP's confirmation bias is quite astounding too. "My wife's a teacher and this is what she says, so clearly all schools are like that." Well, my dad and sister are both teachers, and neither has ever witnessed any kind of "indoctrination," unless it's considered indoctrination to get kids to love music, art, and reading.

Art, music, and reading lead to learning about people who aren't exactly who their parents want their children to be. Gotta control that! Don't want them to learn about the poor people who created great things, or how another person would perceive the world. Don't want that empathy sneaking in. Gotta keep em separated (I'm ashamed of that Offspring lyric reference, but we're talking about offspring,ha, and division)

[Mrbleedinggums]

yea, my wifes a teacher.. Nice try. but thats EXACTLY what there is.

no. not bait.

Assuming you're not a troll, you just choose to be willingly ignorant. E Here's to hoping your wife has more sense about her so the kids don't end up being repressed and devoid of a basic education.

Psychology usually points that in cases like this, there was some severe trauma like if your father beat or molested you, or if you were neglected as a child. Sorry if that's the case, but human beings are not normally supposed to suppress their feelings and neglect basic communication if they want to be functional adults. Being able to sympathize and empathize are fundamental points that should be required by all citizens. Otherwise, you get cases like Trump and the GOP not giving fuck about veterans, federal workers, women, or just about anyone else that isn't a rich white Republican male. Either that, or you get domestic terrorists shooting up a bar, club or their school because they don't understand how to process human emotions.

[helebelemon]

youd be surprised at how littl eof a shit i give about politics on the surface. ive just lived long enough, and am observational enough to be objective about the world as a whole.

Probably not long enough, then, considering the fact that you're asking a forum of childless, likely single teens to adults who by majority lean against your politics to give you advice on where to send them to school so they don't give in to sociopolitical ideals you despise. Hint: what matters most is what you do for/with them at home.

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yea, my wifes a teacher.. Nice try. but thats EXACTLY what there is.

no. not bait.

Yep troll for sure.

[Techno-Druid]

I've never seen or heard of real schools having anything like this. Pillows and teddy bears sounds fictional, seems like a troll thread now.

He implied his wife taught the 5th grade, which is usually in the age range of 10-11 years old. Assuming this is true, this guy is probably misunderstanding or misrepresenting some form of time-out or conflict relief in the classrooms.

[White Goodman1]

No parent is asking about their kids on game forum. What's the point of this, dude?

[exochaft]

Don't know if someone has mentioned it already, try looking for charter schools available in your area (assuming your state allows them). However, there can be long wait lists to get into these schools, and it's usually first come, first served. The ones around me are few in number, but they're the best performing schools in the state.

Another option is home schooling, as there are plethora of home schooling options. A place to start is looking online at reputable home schooling sites, however it will require some time and money on your behalf (still cheaper than most private schools).

When it comes to religious schools, the ones around here are head and shoulders above your standard public schools, but they do cost money (however, you can get scholarships and/or financial assistance). If you're worried about the religious aspect, I'd say it various based upon the institution. Some do incorporate religion into the curriculum, some do not.

With my kid, we sent him to a private pre-school and kindergarten that was nearby and fairly inexpensive. When he did shift to public schooling in first grade, he was basically 1-2 years ahead of the public school's curriculum. While there are some in this thread that don't think indoctrination exists in public schooling, I can certainly say there is some there. Our local school system is the best there is in the area, however there has been some things sent home or things my kid said that he picked up from his teachers that were very political in nature. It's doesn't have to be insanely obvious, as it's more effective to subtly introduce such things so it seems like second-nature later. Best you can do as a parent is keep an eye on such things and make sure to set your kid straight when they get home.

[Obvious10]

My honest opinion ...
Let them be part of the world by participating in daily life every day.

But most of all,
Talk to them, discuss everything with them, teach them to think for themselves, and not just take everything for granted.
Let them travel, get acquainted with other cultures, let them also discuss with them, at least as far as the other cultures allow for them.
Teach them what love and warmth is.

I think these are some solutions for nowadays parents, so my opinion is that separate schools and communes are not the solution, most likely it costs (too) much money, and life is between people, regardless of race, religion or whatever.

[Coolthulhu]

What wonder? It just explains a lot that you were religiously schooled. That response doesn't help your case that you're breaking the mold

I attended a public school for the most part, actually, and that is after I had my fill of the private one. Besides, if we're to take into consideration the fact that I hate the religions of the book just as much as communism, I don't really see what conclusion you're deluding yourself into.