Is anybody proud of being an Incel?

[Sixnalia]

Only ever met two incels, while at university.
They weren't proud of not getting laid.
They were proud of their behavior that they thought was something to be praised and rewarded.
Being "gentlemen". But their chivalry was always super awkward and over the top.

Also met someone I would consider a female incel.
She was more confident, but couldn't comprehend why people didn't want to be with her when she'd state what she wanted from a guy.
She was probably leaning towards 400 lbs and used "homemade deodorant", but smelled of BO. (She wasn't at my university, but worked in the tech department for my current job. She is an immigrant from Brazil.)

At the end of the day. Most Incels could just buy a prostitute.
But I guess that is like admitting defeat in their mind.
Even though they equate good behavior to currency for sex.
When they could just use real currency for sex.

[conceptKitty]

Some of them seem to be.

[Freighter]

Because you made it sound like getting laid is cure to a every problem incels have. Or in short, everyone who is not getting laid is social reject.

Notice the can't? If you are refraining voluntarily from having sex, that doesn't mean you can't, it means you don't want to. If you want to but can't get laid, there is something wrong with you, either attitude/behavior or too high standards.

[grexly75]

Notice the can't? If you are refraining voluntarily from having sex, that doesn't mean you can't, it means you don't want to. If you want to but can't get laid, there is something wrong with you, either attitude/behavior or too high standards.

And treating people like shit like you seem to say in your posts is not going to help solve the issue either.. Some people choose to lead a single life, and they go on to living happy lives.. And you do know that there are female incels as well, probably not as many as male incels but they are there..

[Independent voter]

I think the involuntary part of it makes feeling proud about it difficult.

Now you might be proud if you were a voluntary celibate.

[DarkAmbient]

Overcoming social ineptitude is a thing to be proud of; the ineptitude isn't.

[Zaktar]

Funny how some who are otherwise quick to anger about people who use labels to hate
immediately hate on people whose sole crime is not being able to have sex. Based on what, a small number of assholes whom you believe define a large group? Just going to guess that most "incels" are young, innocent minded, and not Elliot Rodgersesque. Obviously the ones who are shitty about it need an attitude adjustment, and would likely discover that their sexual stock rises when they are less douchey.

I don't assume people who are unable to find a partner are proud of it, unless maybe they are proud of their discipline in waiting for something meaningful rather than take the first opportunity which comes their way.

[Zaktar]

No, they're just the type who would rape someone if they get the opportunity.

Nearly everyone was an "incel" at some point, sooooooo your point is lost on me.

[Zaktar]

Nope. 10chars

Brilliant counterpoint. And still wrong, by far the normal experience is for there to be a point at which one wanted to have sex, but hadn't. If you never experienced that then I empathize with you, but it is how it goes for most folks.

[Zaktar]

You clearly don't know what inceldom actually entails.

It was defined early in the thread as:

Incel = Involuntarily Celibate

Pretty well defined.

Now you obviously have very specific ideas based on a percentage of people who post about it on the internet, but the definition is in fact quite broad and includes a diverse group of people. Most of whom I can just about guarantee have no interest whatsoever in rape.

[Zaktar]

"Incels are members of an online subculture who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as inceldom."

The vast majority of people are able to find someone. So saying most people are incels is just wrong.

Okay, even with *that* much narrower definition it could include a diverse range of people. And the vast majority of people can find someone, but it doesn't happen immediately.

I was 19 before I found someone to have sex with; at the time there was no online community for virgins, but if there had been I may have joined to discuss the experience. I promise you I have no interest in rape and didn't then, I was just interested in finding someone who I loved to have my first time with. Not just anyone, but someone special. It can take time, longer for some than others. The community might be twisted by the evil attitudes of some, I don't participate as those days are well behind me, but it's not difficult for me to imagine a wide range of reasons why people could join it that have nothing to do with sexual assault, unrealistic standards, or low moral character.

[derpkitteh]

incel or whatever

if you base all your selfworth and your life around sex, you're not even a human. you're a subhuman beast, no better than a basic animal. we're supposed to be above animals, so a person that acts like them offends me to the core of my being.

[Granyala]

No, they're just the type who would rape someone if they get the opportunity.

I certainly never had THAT ambition/wish/fantasy. Oo
Can't find rough porn arousing at all.

I think you're talking out of your rear end on that one.

[Zaktar]

Pretty much every guy that actively identify as incel that I've come across hate women. They behave creepy towards us. Blames us for their shortcomings. Can't deal with rejection in a mature way.

Is this a group of people you interact with often? How do you come in contact? There is also kind of a selection bias because people who behave the way you're talking are not likely to have sex, so especially as time goes on I have to think they would be overrepresented. Still don't think it is fair to paint all with that brush, but I mean you do you etc.

Not long ago a woman was raped and murdered here in sweden by someone like that. Don't come here and claim they're safe to be around. They're not.

Logic fail. Not that long ago here a woman was raped and murdered here in California by a non-incel, by a husband, by a father, by etc, are all men not safe to be around?

[Low Hanging Fruit]

Not long ago a woman was raped and murdered here in sweden by someone like that. Don't come here and claim they're safe to be around. They're not.

To be fair I am sure we can find plenty of examples of people that rape and murder women, even in Sweden, that manage to get laid, don't hate women, or act creepy. Any group can have individuals in them that are murderous and are trouble. Not to take away from the points you make about them though. I think they are mostly true about what and who they blame. But to identify the group with murders is pretty low. It can happen, does happen, will happen again, but should they actually be considered murders? Naw..

[Kraenen]

Incel is the new SJW. Both meaningless terms used to label/insult people and to ignore/dismiss any of their opinions/beliefs/arguments. Just more of the same internet bullshit of us vs them.

Both used by very different people to describe a shared root of people - incel was coined by a girl who wanted socially awkward people to have a community to improve themselves (now seems like people slap the label on anyone lower on the socio-sexual hierarchy), SJW was coined to describe a zealous, morally authoritarian and aggressive leftist activist (now people are trying to use it on the right-wing).

[Lochton]

As per the title, I keep hearing about these guys and id like to know do you all wear the incel title like a badge of honor? Like do you have your own forum boards where you get to comfort each other and host cake raffles?

I don't get it..

Involuntarily Celibate = Incel

Nothing in that says being proud, though.

[GreenJesus]

I mean I guess I am technically an involuntary celebate but that's just because I play video games instead of going out to meet people and I'm socially awkward. It's not because I "hate the womanz".

[Freighter]

Did you notice your "wrong"?

There is absolutely nothing wrong to have any kind of attitude/behavior as long as you are not really pain in the ass for everyone.
There is nothing wrong to have high standards.

What you should say is that someone like that should not complain if they can't get sex, not that there is ultimately something wrong with them.
There is a saying "Takes one to find one".

There is something wrong with you if you whine about it instead of changing yourself. But then again, that's what an incel is, unwillingness to change themselves to be more attractive to others and it's everyone else's fault, not theirs.

[Kumorii]

incel or whatever

if you base all your selfworth and your life around sex, you're not even a human. you're a subhuman beast, no better than a basic animal. we're supposed to be above animals, so a person that acts like them offends me to the core of my being.

It's pretty clear that having sexual relationships is good for your health. Don't confuse that with only wanting sex and that's the only thing that's worth anything.

It's a pretty big leap in thinking all self worth lies in sex in others. Having sex and wanting to is a good thing for most people and I would think even for you.

You seem to conflate self worth with sense of intimate connection with another person.