Incels, and what social isolation does to the mind

[Kathandira]

They're teenaged boys with autism. I think you're over-thinking it.

Socially inept, check.
Swarming in one place on the internet and circlejerking with hate, check.
Obsessions over weird and outlandish things, check.
Obsessions with guns, check.
Weird and or sickening fetishes, check.

That's the internet checklist on how to tell someone has autism. If there is at least 2/4, chances are they are on the spectrum.

The media and twitter has built them up to be this problematic gang of supervillains who seek to destroy all life. But in reality, they are the biproduct of giving your autistic child unsupervised access to the internet. Which, if parents who bothered to learn how autism truly works, would know this is a major no-no.

Social isolation, anger issues, depression. These are three things that plague an autistic individual. Letting them do as they please without therapy to help them understand themselves better is basically handing them a gun and telling them to go wild.


Any further discussion on this is just fodder spewed by people with absolutely no understanding, and are only saying so because the internet and TV tells them to.

*ducks under table* I have an issue with autism. When the spectrum of something is as broad as autism has become, I think it needs to be brought back to the drawing board. Anything from a social quirk, to a sever mental health issue can be on the spectrum. Having a blanket term such as 'On the autism spectrum' just doesn't feel that people are being diagnosed accurately. *peeks out to see how much hatred is flying at him*

[Kickbuttmario]

Borrowing from another thread. Incels are largely a male thing, and obviously, something bad and dark happens since it seems to produce a few mass shooters. Female Incels almost don't exist and where they do it is either hidious levels of ugliness, sometimes self inflicted ugliness.

There is no female Elliot Rogers because even if we totally inflict ugliness on ourselves, even if we are the source of our own bad relationships, even if it's totally our own damn fault, there exists an entire cultural force to still call us sexy goddesses.

You can beat your husband, you can abort every baby you've ever made, you can cheat, you can eat a cake every day and gain three hundred pounds, believe me, a whole movement exists to still tell me I'm great.

Elliot Rogers has none of that, every fuck up is on him and personal failure of his. Even fuck ups that aren't his fault. One of the downsides of modernity is that notion of everything being one's own fault. Curious that for women we have an entire social movement with practicle state and corporate world endorsement to basically tell us nothing is our own fault. Incels, the male ones, are in a dark place because nobody gives a fuck about them, and nobody ever will. They are beyond worthless and they know it. If they had been born with a vagina there would be a whole social and political movement to give them succor, even if they did it to themselves, there would be prestigious academic papers and cultural movements there to tell them their shit doesn't stink. But they are men, so they are the ultimate loser. Nobody cares about mens feelings, and nobody ever will.

Male Incels go to a dark place of social isolation because there is zero social support for them, and moreover, there never will be.

See, reading this.... I can't tell if you are joking around and you are making fun of all of this. Or you are actually aware that women have it easier right now and are embracing this fact. It's getting on my nerves. I am pretty sure you are memeing but jesus christ, where would that love of yours go if that one were to become ugly or some debacle were to occur and you couldn't love it the same way as you would normally.

[Stardrift]

Sharing the symptoms of autism does not mean you have literal mental illness.

Shit like this only spurs angrier reactions. Calling lonely, scared, angry and sometimes stupid people sick and deficient only makes them worse.

Of course it doesn't mean so. But chances are, they are unstable and should be supervised. These "incels" have even come out themselves and said they have autism and are socially inept, and that very social ineptitude angers them, which is why they do what they do.

There is no "incels aren't mentally sick, they're just stupid losers". That is not fact. That isn't even plausible. These are individuals who should be going through therapy, but their parents reject that, forcing them to crawl onto the internet to find like-minded individuals to help cope with one another.

I suggest looking up some of the school shooters. They've all either identified as an incel, or are what incels shape themselves up to be like. Their online activity resembles exactly that of an autistic teenager.

It's not going to be all "Let's hold hands and tell us it's all okay". That's not how coping works between those that are desperate, angry, lonely, and depressed. It's going to be a cesspool of anger relief.

I've been telling people this for a long time now. Almost nobody knows how autism works. Nobody knows how it should be dealt with. And nobody knows how dangerous it could be. It's a topic that needs more common education on.

[Kickbuttmario]

That's one of my favorite things about @Theodarzna ; to each their own I guess.

Dude, what would happen to this idiot if something horrible were to befall her daughter? Where would that dark humour of her go then? I get so mad just thinking about all of this.

[Kathandira]

I think she has the protective instinct of a honey badger... her daughter is probably more safe than you are.

I'd put money on that.

[Kickbuttmario]

I think this is a surprisingly insightful, well-written post.

In truth, I've struggled with similar issues, although I personally have no excuse. I've just always been hugely self-conscious; I'm a ginger, in a family of mostly dark-skinned Native Americans, all of whom teased me and often beat me from childhood through my teenage years, and put be down well well into my 20's before I finally cut them off.

I basically had so many insecurities -- coupled with a pretty nasty temper where I kept my emotions bottled-up -- I never even had a SHOT of being with a girl. But I always blamed it on that "it's because I'm ugly, just like they always said, I'm completely worthless". I basically saw real results -- that girls didn't like me -- and assigned blame to perhaps the wrong reason -- that it was because I was pale with red hair (don't get me wrong, I *do* think male redheads are fighting an uphill battle when trying to be attractive, but the MAIN reason I was alone was because of my own insecurities overshadowing any positive qualities I may have had).

In my early 20's, I was 100% the stereotypical "incel". I was bitter, self-hating, but also hateful. Seeing people "being happy" honestly bothered me, because I would always think "I want that. Why do they get to be happy, but not me?". And really, you could probably do a whole discussion, trying to break down exactly how many ways my line of thinking was messed up.

So eventually, I started to think "Well, I'm clearly not going to win a woman over on my own merits, so I'll at least try to get my shit together and make money". And make no mistake, I've worked hard, and despite a lot of setbacks, I've achieved some measure of success. But to no one's surprised, my standing with women hasn't improved.

I've always kind of known, but only more recently acknowledged the truth, that I just have way too many personal hang-ups to deal with. Really, I think people can pick up on that stuff, somehow. And it's nobody's responsibility to "fix me", it's up to me to work on dealing with my own problems, to make myself into a desirable kind of guy. But there are definitely days, too, where I think "Man, it sure would be nice to not be alone, and maybe have someone in my corner, rooting for me or encouraging me".

I suppose I'll say, I'm definitely finding the culture -- at least where *I* live (around DC) -- isn't terribly conducive to "fixing yourself". People seem to treat each other as being completely disposable (which I suppose is somewhat true), and it seems like basic courtesy is becoming a rarity (ie. I was suppose to meet a woman for drinks last week, she texts me to tell me she doesn't feel like going out, 30 minutes *AFTER* we were supposed to meet). I wouldn't say that's anything against women specifically, so much as part of me is like "Man, people in general just really suck".

Anyways... that's where I'm at, right now. Not even going to pretend I've got any of this shit figured out. Just trying to find my own place in the world. For reference, I'm 31, which isn't *that* old, but I honestly *feel* old sometimes.

See now, when I read this, I keep thinking about how to fix this world. How does a person like you figure this stuff out then? It truly feels like we're living in a game world / computer simulation sometimes reading this stuff.

[Kathandira]

See now, when I read this, I keep thinking about how to fix this world. How does a person like you figure this stuff out then? It truly feels like we're living in a game world / computer simulation sometimes reading this stuff.

Life is sorta like a game. There are rules, strategies, and ways to win, and ways to lose. The sooner one learns how to play it, the better off they will be in the end game.

[Stardrift]

*ducks under table* I have an issue with autism. When the spectrum of something is as broad as autism has become, I think it needs to be brought back to the drawing board. Anything from a social quirk, to a sever mental health issue can be on the spectrum. Having a blanket term such as 'On the autism spectrum' just doesn't feel that people are being diagnosed accurately. *peeks out to see how much hatred is flying at him*

No you're absolutely right. What we know about autism, in my personal opinion, is absolutely wrong and it does indeed need to go back to the drawing board.

[Kickbuttmario]

The whole point of incels is that people are ugly, and the people are having a hard time dealing with it. So how do you deal with it? There are fellas in here who said who they've known are ugly yet got married yet know the women don't like having sex with them so basically got married for money? The fucking memes here man.

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Life is sorta like a game. There are rules, strategies, and ways to win, and ways to lose. The sooner one learns how to play it, the better off they will be in the end game.

Yes. Nevermind to suffering or pain. It is in our races birthright and more of it makes people stronger yet we're also living in a world that is telling us to embrace it and then wonder why horrible shit is happening. People like Theodarzna are ticking me off for this reason alone.

[Kathandira]

The whole point of incels is that people are ugly, and the people are having a hard time dealing with it. So how do you deal with it? There are fellas in here who said who they've known are ugly yet got married yet know the women don't like having sex with them so basically got married for money? The fucking memes here man.

Back to "Life is sorta like a game". If looks is your dump stat, pump up a different stat to compensate.

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Yes. Nevermind to suffering or pain. It is in our races birthright and more of it makes people stronger yet we're also living in a world that is telling us to embrace it and then wonder why horrible shit is happening. People like Theodarzna are ticking me off for this reason alone.

You need to take a breath, slow down, and speak more clearly. The way the above reads, you sound infuriated and unable to think/speak clearly.

[Shaderas]

See now, when I read this, I keep thinking about how to fix this world. How does a person like you figure this stuff out then? It truly feels like we're living in a game world / computer simulation sometimes reading this stuff.

You don't "fix" the world. You "fix" (change) yourself. And you quit worrying about the world...

[kurigosh]

so, here's my 2 cents:

i also almost became an incel and i actually identified myself as one for a while. I was always fat, like incredibly fat. this made me feel like a monster, like something that should be put down and cremated, god how i hated myself back then. I remember that whenever i was close to a pretty girl i always felt bad for her, because she had to look at my ugly, disgusting and fat face. i felt like a sub human creature, something that should be in chains and humiliated.
My problem was never isolation, i always had lots of friends and money. The thing i never had was confidence and self love. Fast forward to 2 years ago i did a gastric bypass surgery (where the doctor reduces your stomach to 10% of the original size or something like that). Right now i lost about 70 kilograms and this past month i started seeing a girl.
you see, before i actually felt i would never feel the warmth of sharing a bed with someone else, i tought i would never be able to cuddle and to kiss a girl while watching something on TV, but then it happened out of nowhere. I dated her for just 2 weeks, but she was even sleeping in my bed on weekends and stuff. We are not together anymore, but one thing i can say for sure is that i'm not an incel. Today i truly love myself, i really feel pretty and loved, it's the best feeling ever and i really wish that the incels would find this happyness that i found. Now i take 500 pictures to post on instagram, i'm going out more and i'm seeing another girl.
Not everyone gets to be happy, i guess, but the incel mentality doens't help them, at all.

[Kathandira]

so, here's my 2 cents:

i also almost became an incel and i actually identified myself as one for a while. I was always fat, like incredibly fat. this made me feel like a monster, like something that should be put down and cremated, god how i hated myself back then. I remember that whenever i was close to a pretty girl i always felt bad for her, because she had to look at my ugly, disgusting and fat face. i felt like a sub human creature, something that should be in chains and humiliated.
My problem was never isolation, i always had lots of friends and money. The thing i never had was confidence and self love. Fast forward to 2 years ago i did a gastric bypass surgery (where the doctor reduces your stomach to 10% of the original size or something like that). Right now i lost about 70 kilograms and this past month i started seeing a girl.
you see, before i actually felt i would never feel the warmth of sharing a bed with someone else, i tought i would never be able to cuddle and to kiss a girl while watching something on TV, but then it happened out of nowhere. I dated her for just 2 weeks, but she was even sleeping in my bed on weekends and stuff. We are not together anymore, but one thing i can say for sure is that i'm not an incel. Today i truly love myself, i really feel pretty and loved, it's the best feeling ever and i really wish that the incels would find this happyness that i found. Now i take 500 pictures to post on instagram, i'm going out more and i'm seeing another girl.
Not everyone gets to be happy, i guess, but the incel mentality doens't help them, at all.

Great job man! Happy to hear you found happiness and self love!

[Theodarzna]

Dude no offense but you sound like a huge red flag to me. I am definitely an incel and have looked extensively at the redpill/incel communities and you are such a tripe of a person. You seem to know about the dark humors of life yet embrace it. I truly wonder how you would treat your daughter if something terrible were to happen to her and suddenly she becomes ugly. Where will that motherhood of yours go then?

I'll help her to improve herself, but a mothers love is inherently unconditional.

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Dude, what would happen to this idiot if something horrible were to befall her daughter? Where would that dark humour of her go then? I get so mad just thinking about all of this.

Jokes aside, if anyone threatens my daughter I'd gladly go to prison for life to protect her or avenge her.

I think she has the protective instinct of a honey badger... her daughter is probably more safe than you are.

I'd put money on that.

I try.

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That's one of my favorite things about @Theodarzna ; to each their own I guess.

I'm mainly here to provide dark and fucked up posts, with occasional Anti-Capitalism, Reactionary politics, and strange love of Sex-Positivity and Sex-Workers.

[Kathandira]

I'm mainly here to provide dark and fucked up posts, with occasional Anti-Capitalism, Reactionary politics, and strange love of Sex-Positivity and Sex-Workers.

We should all be required to fill out our signatures with this sort of information, lol. Would help alleviate a lot of misunderstandings about what a person's intent is when they are commenting/replying.

[CritFromAfar]

I find this thread hilarious, and incels in general hilarious, because I've seen tons of hateful people find love regardless of their personalities. It's more likely got to do with them not being appealing enough in other areas to actually be able to maintain such a whiny hateful attitude, while also constantly acting in a way that is too clingy or doesn't benefit them, and then wondering why they can't find someone to love them. They tend to be just overall immature and aren't usually able to see how.

I think them not being forward enough to actually wrangle someone and then projecting tends to be the difference between them and people with shite personalities that can manage to wrangle somebody.

[Kathandira]

I find this thread hilarious, and incels in general hilarious, because I've seen tons of hateful people find love regardless of their personalities.

If Trump can get a supermodel, then anyone can do it! lol

[CritFromAfar]

If Trump can get a supermodel, then anyone can do it! lol

Trump is rich though. Or, was.

[Kathandira]

Trump is rich though. Or, was.

Like I said before, if your appearance is your dump stat, you need to pump up another stat to compensate. Basic D&D Strategy. ; )

[CritFromAfar]

They're teenaged boys with autism. I think you're over-thinking it.

Socially inept, check.
Swarming in one place on the internet and circlejerking with hate, check.
Obsessions over weird and outlandish things, check.
Obsessions with guns, check.
Weird and or sickening fetishes, check.

That's the internet checklist on how to tell someone has autism. If there is at least 2/4, chances are they are on the spectrum.

The media and twitter has built them up to be this problematic gang of supervillains who seek to destroy all life. But in reality, they are the biproduct of giving your autistic child unsupervised access to the internet. Which, if parents who bothered to learn how autism truly works, would know this is a major no-no.

Social isolation, anger issues, depression. These are three things that plague an autistic individual. Letting them do as they please without therapy to help them understand themselves better is basically handing them a gun and telling them to go wild.


Any further discussion on this is just fodder spewed by people with absolutely no understanding, and are only saying so because the internet and TV tells them to.

I like how you and others just assume they're all autistic. By your criteria, wouldn't a huge portion of the U.S be autistic? It just doesn't make sense with the reasons you've listed.

I'm pretty sure them going to a public forum to do these things would be the opposite of social isolation. It's almost as if people find it hard to believe that people can't be hateful without being autistic.

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Like I said before, if your appearance is your dump stat, you need to pump up another stat to compensate. Basic D&D Strategy. ; )

All this made me think is that someone should get Trump to play D&D. I think Trump dumped all his stats in knowing how to unintentionally piss people off.