Is weight gain grounds for divorce/ultimatum?

[bloodykiller86]

Hmm, love that is conditional like that isn't true love at all.

facts. you work together not rag on the other person

[Sapphire35]

The options on this poll are too limited. There's factors involved that need to be considered. We all start to fall apart as we get old so looks can't be the only reason you're with someone. I don't mind the general weight gain that can come with getting older/working a full-time job/having kids etc. If that's all it takes for you to be turned off you need to relax on your standards. If your SO has some kind of genetic disorder that makes weight loss REALLY tough, yeah I'd stay and make it work.

However, if your SO is just pounding away doughnuts without any regard for you or how it affects the relationship then yeah I'd start thinking about getting out. I don't understand how some of you can say "well this wasn't real love if they get fat and you leave". In such an extreme case (which I've seen happen) YOU'RE the victim. YOU'RE the one watching your SO just eat their way away from you. If marriage is death til you part that's pretty damn close. You're practically watching the person your SO was die and become something else.

[Dellis0991]

Depends I guess, if I get married I'm in it till I die. If you want to divorce them you should've never got married in the first place. You had to know what kind of person you invested in your love in, so why abandon them if that happened? Should you try to help them get things under control and help them get back in shape?

[Spectral]

Just because you don't have a hard time losing weight doesn't mean everyone else doesn't either.

Some people do have a hard time losing weight even tho they are giving it all.

Obviously their all isn't very good. Some people have trouble learning basic financial planning, even if they try. Some people have difficulty keeping a job. Some people have trouble avoiding falling into addiction.

I don't want to be married to any of those people.

[bloodykiller86]

Of course, because it also signals a total change of character. My wife and I are very physically active, we hike and bike together, we run races up to marathon distance, and fitness is a big part of our lives. If she gained a significant amount of weight, I'd find her physically unattractive and to no longer be the person I married. Of course, people can always come up with exceptions ("but what a disease?"), but most of the time getting fat demonstrates a lack of character on a few axes.

not really thats a very narrowminded view of it. when people start getting older working all the time you have less and less time and you prioritize other things in front of working out. shit happens and you cant just give up on a person because they gain weight thats just stupid

[Spectral]

I think that's a big part of it - as you age you not only tend towards being more sedentary but you also lose the ability to be as active as you used to to get those really good burns going. It becomes a lot more about diet than being a cardio bunny or crushing lifts.

What age are you thinking of? I'm entering my mid-30s and I'm not quite as lean as I was at my leanest, I'm a faster runner than I've ever been and still around ~12.5% fat. For people that act like turning 30 is the death of fitness, they're mostly just lazy.

[Katie N]

not really thats a very narrowminded view of it. when people start getting older working all the time you have less and less time and you prioritize other things in front of working out. shit happens and you cant just give up on a person because they gain weight thats just stupid

You don't even have to work out to not get fat. I don't go to gym, I maintain 45-50 kg and I'm turning 31 in July.

[bloodykiller86]

no that is just a straight trash ass reason to divorce. if you truly love one another you would do all you can to help that person get healthy again. life sometimes gets in the way. with as much as i work i find i have no energy to go work out all the time as i get older. i just want to relax and rest because im always so tired from work. i still go but not as much as i used to. but if my wife gained weight i would just kick her to the curb im not an asshole. a marriage is a commitment and i dont mean in the religious sense. i mean that you're in it through thick and thin and will be there for each other.

[Spectral]

not really thats a very narrowminded view of it. when people start getting older working all the time you have less and less time and you prioritize other things in front of working out. shit happens and you cant just give up on a person because they gain weight thats just stupid

I'm in my 30s and my wife and I have both worked big hours jobs as research scientists. Now, I travel a ton for work, regularly put in over 50 hours, and own a small business on the side. Fitness remains a priority for a variety of reasons:

- Health
- Competition
- Joy of mastery
- Physical appearance

You don't personally have to value it, although I think that's a pretty bad plan, but the person I'm married to certainly does need to. If my wife showed a lack of interest in remaining healthy and attractive, it would clearly indicate a disregard for me.

[bloodykiller86]

You don't even have to work out to not get fat. I don't go to gym, I maintain 45-50 kg and I'm turning 31 in July.

and youre lucky good for you. you know what happened to me after i quit smoking? i gained the most weight i ever have in the shortest time span ever in my life. in a few months i gained 50lbs and that has never happened to me before. In fact for years i stayed between a 10lb range and never left that. working now to get rid of it but does my wife just leave me because i gained weight? fuck no that would be stupid as fuck. we both motivate each other to go work out and eat healthier. you dont just leave a person over such a stupid matter. if so you never loved that person truly and you were just a superficial person to begin with

[SirBeef]

are you worried about their mental and/or physical health?
are you less emotionally attracted to them or aware of not having an emotional attraction now there's an (implied) reduced physical attraction?

I'd say grounds for divorce would be an over-reaction but it could well bring existing issues to the front (for example that the relationship is purely based on physical attraction only)

Also the question posed completely ignores reality. Your SO is not just gonna put on weight with the other noticing. So what did the other do before the breaking point hit? If it was a concern, the other would have noticed and inquired about their SO and if anything was going on. I would say if significant weight gain happened to ones SO and the other just let it happen the SO has grounds for divorce since it is obvious the other doesn't really care enough to notice or do anything about it.

[Dellis0991]

Most of the time I've seen that it's down to them not counting everything they eat or drink. There's a guy in my school who swore off fast foods to try to lose weight but he's still drinking every Friday. That's a lot of weight to be lost if he'd stop drinking every Friday.

I lost a good amount of weight when i stop smoking weed and drinking(I dabble little bit with weed just a like a blunt every few months ). I was always busy so I wasn't sloppy fat just chubby but when I went cold turkey its like all the rest of the bad habits kind of left (other then gaming), I eat healthier and eat less. I love myself now.

[bloodykiller86]

I'm in my 30s and my wife and I have both worked big hours jobs as research scientists. Now, I travel a ton for work, regularly put in over 50 hours, and own a small business on the side. Fitness remains a priority for a variety of reasons:

- Health
- Competition
- Joy of mastery
- Physical appearance

You don't personally have to value it, although I think that's a pretty bad plan, but the person I'm married to certainly does need to. If my wife showed a lack of interest in remaining healthy and attractive, it would clearly indicate a disregard for me.

so instead of bringing this up to your SO in this matter and being supportive to get them back to healthy you'd see it as a negative in your eyes and feel like you need to get a divorce? really? man if thats the case you sound like a prick if ive ever met one

[SirBeef]

You don't even have to work out to not get fat. I don't go to gym, I maintain 45-50 kg and I'm turning 31 in July.

You don't even have to work out to lose weight. I dropped sugars, sodium, and processed foods from my diet and lost 30lbs changing nothing else.

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so instead of bringing this up to your SO in this matter and being supportive to get them back to healthy you'd see it as a negative in your eyes and feel like you need to get a divorce? really? man if thats the case you sound like a prick if ive ever met one

This whole thread reeks of selfishness and a unwillingness to care or understand what would lead to this weight gain.

[Th3Scourge]

Yes

/10chars

[bloodykiller86]

You don't even have to work out to lose weight. I dropped sugars, sodium, and processed foods from my diet and lost 30lbs changing nothing else.

- - - Updated - - -



This whole thread reeks of selfishness and a unwillingness to care or understand what would lead to this weight gain.

FUCKING FACTS MAN! this thread is just filled with straight assholes it seems. like wtf is this way of thinking. why even get married if youre going to have this type of mindset? marriage is about going through things together good and bad. if you didnt want to deal with the bad times then just never get married. jeez humans sure do suck ass

[Azmoden]

Depends.

If the guy gains weight, then yes, it can be grounds for divorce, because gurl, you deserve better.

If the girl gains weight, then no, because HOW DARE YOU NOT LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS, YOU SEXIST PIG?

Welcome to double standards!

[jackofwind]

What age are you thinking of? I'm entering my mid-30s and I'm not quite as lean as I was at my leanest, I'm a faster runner than I've ever been and still around ~12.5% fat. For people that act like turning 30 is the death of fitness, they're mostly just lazy.

Like 60+.

I'm 31, play hockey twice a week, softball once a week, and workout at least 3 times a week with at least once big leg day. I'm also not at my leanest (I was a really skinny kid/teenager), but I'm definitely the fittest I've ever been. I certainly don't expect to have to throttle back at all until I'm into my mid-50's, barring injuries.

[Dug]

Depends. On how retarded the poll is expecting them to stay exactly as you met them then I'd say no you're just being unrealistic. Almost everybody gains some weight as they age.

[Kathandira]

This whole thread reeks of selfishness and a unwillingness to care or understand what would lead to this weight gain.

FUCKING FACTS MAN! this thread is just filled with straight assholes it seems. like wtf is this way of thinking. why even get married if youre going to have this type of mindset? marriage is about going through things together good and bad. if you didnt want to deal with the bad times then just never get married. jeez humans sure do suck ass

I'm absolutely in the same camp as you two. Good to see there are at least some people who are willing to think about this further than just a yes or no answer.