Looking at classmates from high school

[Lubsin]

So I recently reactivated my Facebook page after nearly 4+ years - class reunion is just around the corner (2020). While scrolling through some of my classmates pages, I noticed one I would like to date or at the very least, get to know her better. We never really talked to each other much and she was more along the lines with the popular kids in high school. I'm not a very confident guy or anything, so I'm seeking some advice. How do you approach someone you've never really talked too? Someone you feel is out of your league?

[Independent voter]

Is she in your league?

Are you a 3 and she's a 7?

If you say hi to her and she's interested, things will go really well. If she's not interested, it's going to be a struggle.

[eoyeffteedubz]

Just go to the reunion and see wassup

[Doctor Amadeus]

It's best to leave the past at rest in my experience.

[Melsiren]

Idk, this comment seems a bit creepy to me, honestly.

I don't know I can nearly see the neckhairs poking out of the post.

It's the type of unsettling statment that makes you feel the need to take a shower.

[Lubsin]

Idk, this comment seems a bit creepy to me, honestly.

How...? I haven't seen my classmates in years. Since the reunion is next year, I decided to just see what they've been up to (curiosity).

[Azadina]

How...? I haven't seen my classmates in years. Since the reunion is next year, I decided to just see what they've been up to (curiosity).

The tone of the OP seemed to have less to do with checking what your classmates have been up to, and more about stalking on one individual.

[Lubsin]

The tone of the OP seemed to have less to do with checking what your classmates have been up to, and more about stalking on one individual.

I'm the OP and this has nothing to do with stalking at all. She even sent me a friend request herself.... buuut ok. Let's just assume I'm stalking(sarcasm).

After nearly 10 years, and a class reunion around the corner, I was just being curious to see what others have been up to etc.

[Knaar]

A good start would probably be : *Open chat window* Hi!
and see if she's single first to avoid any issues.

[Dwarfhamster]

??? What’s so difficult about starting a conversation over chat? No harm—just say thanks for the friend request, would love to catch up.

[Afrospinach]

It's not creepy, it's natural for humans to be social and want to get to know others, it's also natural to feel attracted to others as it has been the case for millennia. Sexual desire should not be "creepified" and demonized and looked upon with fear. Sexual desire should be as normal as all other behaviors, there's nothing special with sexuality, humanity fetishized it, yet it should be just another way to socialize and binding with others.

Say what you want. Just because being attracted to other people is not creepy in and of itself does not mean the way the OP is going about this is not.

[hulkgor]

Idk, this comment seems a bit creepy to me, honestly.

Yea, i have to agree with this.

That just seemed creepy as hell.

[Afrospinach]

Please explain how any of this "polite person being cutesy-lost in the world of sex" is creepy and we should criticize him/pay attention to it:

There seem to be a couple of things you are not considering here.

1. The OP is not the only person who is potentially in this situation. How is this girl going to feel being randomly contacted by some guy from highschool she barely had anything to do with?

2. highschool reunions happen what? 5 years minimum? But usually longer. That is far to long to be using your yearbook as a fuck date website. Most people are going to have long moved on. It is just really silly to be speculating about injecting yourself into someone you like the look of's life. And no, I do not thing it is normal to be hanging on to these sorts of feeling for so long.

You want a more diplomatic answer to the OP? He missed his chance back then and it will more than likely go the same way if she is not involved already. It is a setup for disappointment. That and girls can sense this BS from a mile away so pretending to be ok with "just settling for friends" will just end up with someone getting used but more likely just rejected. Move on. And yes, this is "nice guy creeper" shit, professing that you want to date but then telling yourself you will be A ok with being friends while she is off with other dudes. 99 times out of 100 this is a lie(even to yourself) and you are only going to hurt yourself.

I don't really think your post has much to do with anything going on here TBH, it does not matter how "free" you deem yourself this is not really pertinent to this situation.

[BargainBoy]

There are no leagues. It's all about taking care of your appearance and coming to the reunion ready to have discussions with people like an adult without any expectations.

And no offence, most people are going to be interested in chatting with people they already knew before. Get on tinder, bruh.

[Azadina]

I'm the OP and this has nothing to do with stalking at all. She even sent me a friend request herself.... buuut ok. Let's just assume I'm stalking(sarcasm).

After nearly 10 years, and a class reunion around the corner, I was just being curious to see what others have been up to etc.

Sure, totally. That's exactly how the OP reads; like you were curious of what class mates been up to.

No wait, it didn't at all. It was about your fixation on one individual of the whole class.

[Lubsin]

Sure, totally. That's exactly how the OP reads; like you were curious of what class mates been up to.

No wait, it didn't at all. It was about your fixation on one individual of the whole class.

Actually it was. As I've previously stated, I was curious to know what my class mates (guys/girls) have been up to since our reunion is next year. There is no fixation on ONE individual. I haven't seen or heard from most of them since we graduated. I'm not sure why people are trying to pass the notion that I'm a stalker or I have a fixation on one particular person. She sent me a friend request, someone I didn't speak to much while in school. So I was curious to know how to approach someone you've never really talked to. I'm not a confident guy, and I really don't like being rejected (even though it's a part of life). Again, my whole reason for reactivating my facebook page was just to see my class mates. She only caught my eye because of the friend request.

The question is simple, should I try? Or just accept the friend request and just idk.....not say anything at all?

[Poppincaps]

Man there's some hardcore projecting/whiteknighting going on in this thread. Honestly OP, I'd wait until the reunion, try to talk to her a bit and if you feel it is going alright, send her a message on Facebook or get her number at the reunion. I wouldn't just send her a message out of the blue if you haven't ever spoken to her in person. Sliding into DMs works sometimes, but not often unless the person really finds you physically attractive.

[Azadina]

Actually it was. As I've previously stated, I was curious to know what my class mates (guys/girls) have been up to since our reunion is next year. There is no fixation on ONE individual. I haven't seen or heard from most of them since we graduated. I'm not sure why people are trying to pass the notion that I'm a stalker or I have a fixation on one particular person. She sent me a friend request, someone I didn't speak to much while in school. So I was curious to know how to approach someone you've never really talked to. I'm not a confident guy, and I really don't like being rejected (even though it's a part of life). Again, my whole reason for reactivating my facebook page was just to see my class mates. She only caught my eye because of the friend request.

The question is simple, should I try? Or just accept the friend request and just idk.....not say anything at all?

If you feel you're not the stalking type, then I assume you don't want to give such impression, right? It's best to talk to them all at the meeting, rather than try to dig up info about them beforehand on your own, because that will give such an impression. What better way to talk to them anyway than get to start by asking how they are and what they've been up to in person? Instead of "hey there x, I know what you've been up to, because I've done some digging for the past year".

[Captain Proton]

If you feel you're not the stalking type, then I assume you don't want to give such impression, right? It's best to talk to them all at the meeting, rather than try to dig up info about them beforehand on your own, because that will give such an impression. What better way to talk to them anyway than get to start by asking how they are and what they've been up to in person? Instead of "hey there x, I know what you've been up to, because I've done some digging for the past year".

Getting sent a friend request by the person and then asking advice from a forum who doesn't know who she is on how to approach her in this situation, that sure is "digging".

[Voidwielder]

Class reunion, brrr. Would not get me with at a gun point.