Women do 65% of all housework

[Theodarzna]

Yup we're still deeply sexist, this forum is a good reminder of that a good deal of the time. What's interesting is that the divide still exists when both partners work outside of the home and women still do the majority of the child-rearing.

I'll say now that I think most women have a standard of cleanliness and tolerance for clutter far lower than most men. I clean not because I'm asked or expected to but because I just don't want my home looking a certain way and have a certain standard.

[nymphetsss]

I wonder if this has taken into account stuff like lawn care/ snow removal, vehicle and house maintenance or is it only directly relating to the care of children.

I do the majority of cleaning and the like in my house because im quicker and better at it than my GF and I don't mind doing it ( no kids though just a pile of dogs)

[DotEleven]

Now just wondering, does this 65% split include the households where I'm pretty sure there's still a lot more that have the female in the relationship stay home? Is it possible that 65% isn't from couples where both parents work and instead just because of that discrepancy?

Like to simplify, let's say couples where both parents work split it 50/50. In the case where one parent works, the other does 100%. If for example out of 200, we have 100 where they both work, 65 where the male works, and 35 where the female works, wouldn't that come out to showing that women do 65% of the household work? And I mean, if that's the case we could make it sound bad the other way around "65% of men are forced to be sole financial support of the family"

Statistics without showing who was polled and the reasoning behind the statistics is pointless.

[Ashnazg]

I think if both are working outside the home, regardless of who makes more money, both should put in an equal amount of effort in raising their children and caring for the home.

But jobs dont come with the same energy investment, so why should a dockworker be expected to put in the same amount of effort into household chores as his full time employed academic wife?

[Celista]

I'll say now that I think most women have a standard of cleanliness and tolerance for clutter far lower than most men. I clean not because I'm asked or expected to but because I just don't want my home looking a certain way and have a certain standard.

My boyfriend is actually pretty neat and we'd probably get along fine if we lived together. I prefer having my own space, though.

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Now just wondering, does this 65% split include the households where I'm pretty sure there's still a lot more that have the female in the relationship stay home? Is it possible that 65% isn't from couples where both parents work and instead just because of that discrepancy?

Like to simplify, let's say couples where both parents work split it 50/50. In the case where one parent works, the other does 100%. If for example out of 200, we have 100 where they both work, 65 where the male works, and 35 where the female works, wouldn't that come out to showing that women do 65% of the household work? And I mean, if that's the case we could make it sound bad the other way around "65% of men are forced to be sole financial support of the family"

Statistics without showing who was polled and the reasoning behind the statistics is pointless.

No, these statistics are adjusted for hours worked.

[Theodarzna]

My boyfriend is actually pretty neat and we'd probably get along fine if we lived together. I prefer having my own space, though.

My husband is just worn out and drained after work. And it to me seems bad to expect him to do half the housework given that I'm home all the time, he isn't, and he sacrifices time he'd probably rather do other things making money and advancing a career; meanwhile missing important stuff like his daughters first words and walking and all that. Given especially its not even a career that is glamorous or anything, its just a well paying job.

Also given his tolerance for clutter is far higher than mine, I'll clean up. It seems fair in my book.

If we both worked I still feel like I'd do more of the cleaning simply because it is on me expecting a certain home image. I want it to look a certain way, and he is satisfied with "Clean enough" which his clean enough is far messier than mine.

[Daedius]

It'd be 100% or 0% for a homosexual couple... dilemma!

[exochaft]

I get that, I do, but men’s roles back then were entirely filled up with hunting/gathering and protecting family, making it so there was very little time to be involved with the child rearing. That’s what I was getting at. Nowadays, that’s just not the case; not unless you’re living some Alaskan Wilderness lifestyle, like the shit we see on TV.

If both parents are working full time jobs, both should equally be involved in helping with the children and caring for the home.

Gets a little complicated and I don't want to devolve into a massive post, but I don't think the amount of time spent on actively raising a child by a mother/father equates to equal effect on the child. Super simple example: of all the time spent on rearing the child, the father is directly involved with 30% and the mother is involved 70%, but despite that difference in quantitative time spent focused on the child their qualitative time spent on the child was equal. There's tons of ways to expound on why this is and how it works out, but even if you go back to primitive days, the development of a child was designed around the scenario you proposed (we'll assume the scenario you proposed is true). If that's the case, what the mother/father are doing outside of the child rearing is completely independent of what the child actually needs, especially in the early years of a child's life.

I suppose if I'm making a case, many of these behaviors, child rearing included, are genetically hardwired into us with some wiggle room for extenuating circumstances. This wiggle room allows us to be adaptive in cases where the standard family unit cannot be maintained so we can still raise a child. Despite this wiggle room, males and females still have traits/abilities unique to themselves as a general rule, so the most natural thing that would happen is to default into such roles. In the case of the study I referenced before, I think it implies that males and females both know each other's default roles in the process of rearing a child, hence why it's possible for two same-sex people to raise a child and tend to default into roles that may not be normative to their genders for the sake of the child. Even outside same-sex child rearing, knowing and understanding the roles go a long ways towards compartmentalize jobs/abilities to take on the tasks that suit them the best.

Kind of a related personal story, but I have a friend who is raising a child as a lesbian couple (his actual mom is in and out of jail, so they took him in). I talk to her quite a bit concerning how things are going, and she has noticed that she personally acts like a man around her child and her partner acts like a nurturing mother. She said it wasn't really a conscious decision, it's just how things ended up over time. Also, so noticed she has taken on more male-associated roles like being protective and being the breadwinner of the household, while her partner does most of the cooking/cleaning. Ironically enough, before they starting raising their kid, they were both pretty feminine and both had careers, but introducing a child into their life suddenly morphed them into a more traditional family scenario and gender-specific roles. However, she still asks me occasionally how I'd deal with certain behaviors/scenarios because she realizes that despite her being more masculine in her role, there are some things that only men can do or know how to handle for the role she's taken on. That doesn't make her weak in any regard, as even I know there are some things that only women can do or know how to handle for the nurturing role.

[Aurgjelme]

With work "outside" being mentioned, does that include working on the car, changing oil, changing tires, maintenance.
Working on the house, repairing the roof, mowing the lawn or just general maintenance on the house outside.

These are tasks performed in the vast majority by men, but seem to be less valued compared to doing the dishes or vacuuming.
Should women become more involved in the more technical and harder to do tasks rather than just what we like to call the "invisible" housework?

Personally I cant stand to watch anyone work while I relax, I would feel disgusting doing so, but a lot of the problem is how you are brought up.
If your parents did everything for you then you are most likely going to fall into the same roles. You sister does the housework inside, while the boys mow the lawn or help paint, or learn how to fix the car.

Thankfully, women are working just as much as men do now, and in my country, men take a bigger share of the housework than what their fathers would have done.
The more south you go in Europe, the lazier the men get though when it comes to helping with housework.

[Pipebomb]

Motherhood Isn't The Hardest Job

[LuminaL]

It’s doesn't take a law of nature for a father to help the kids do their homework while mum makes dinner (or vice versa). He’s not hunting for food anymore or standing outside the “cave” with a spear ready to protect them, lol.

and thats why its not 100%. also its missing info, which is bullshit. it doesnt state what men do instead of helping to bring it to near 50% ? men and women are made for different things like it or not.

[Fayolynn]

With work "outside" being mentioned, does that include working on the car, changing oil, changing tires, maintenance.
Working on the house, repairing the roof, mowing the lawn or just general maintenance on the house outside.

This is the real question. The last few times I've seen this brought up things like lawn care and vehicle maintenance were not classified as house work. I stead they were called hobbies/leisure activities.

[xGLxAnubis]

Most women who do a lot of the housework do it of our own volition, we are home more and or just have different standards about clutter and cleanliness. I know I am both at home way more and have a way higher standard of cleanliness than him, so I do most of the cleaning.

I think this is an often overlooked thing: The standard at which something *needs* to be done is different. Women tend to have a higher standard for cleanliness, clutter, and 'straightening up'. so take it upon themselves to achieve their own standard. There's nothing wrong with this, but that would lend to then reporting that they do more.

Another thing to consider, IMO, is effort in tasks. The man usually mows the lawn, rakes, shovels the snow, does the landscaping, builds the deck or shed, maintains the roof, fence, and home exterior. While the wife tends to help with some of these tasks, I would bet most men would report they do the lions share. Are we claiming that vacuuming is as arduous a task as building a deck?

Men usually take on the physically taxing activities while women take on the less taxing. This applies to professions as well; men are more physically exhausted at the end of a day than most women.

[Jonnusthegreat]

Seems pretty reasonable to me. I wonder how long it will be until it's at 50? Maybe in a few 100 years or so, change takes time.

[DotEleven]

My boyfriend is actually pretty neat and we'd probably get along fine if we lived together. I prefer having my own space, though.

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No, these statistics are adjusted for hours worked.

I mean, looking through the article, I don't even see a link to the statistic or anything like a poll. I'd just like to see where they actually got the number.

[Kumorii]

Worst part of living together with people is when it comes to household work... One who cares more about cleaning will feel they have to clean all the time. Not because the other person expects them too, but rather they don't have the same cleaning needs and thus it can go for longer before they do so.

For some reason when it comes to questions about that, it's always the one who don't clean as much that should just clean more often so the other one won't have to, which is a bit wrong since that means 1 person have to change to live up to the standards of another person. Same goes both ways, I've noticed very few like to compromise on the matter and it's always the other one that should conform to their needs.

Can't speak for the kids part.

[Elim Garak]

If a woman complains about household "work" - dump her.

[Celista]

I mean, looking through the article, I don't even see a link to the statistic or anything like a poll. I'd just like to see where they actually got the number.

Yeah the article is poorly written, I read this story via another article that iirc linked to the source data.

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If a woman complains about household "work" - dump her.

You sound like a gem.

[MikeBogina]

A bird made a nest outside my window, she had 3 chicks and rarely was she not there tending to them, and when she wasn't, the male would pop in on them until she got back. I'd say that he was there about less than 5% of the time. Sadly all the babies died, severe rain weather :/

Point is, that's how we creatures are designed, the mother has "Maternal" instincts and the fathers usually don't. We're more evolved than those creatures, but even our societies are shaped by them. Consider the rates at which parents separate and how often the male gets custody of the children, it's not anywhere as high as the women. Why?

Friend of mine worked nights, so he spent most of his day with his daughter, more than his girlfriend did. He also paid the rent of the apartment, owned the only car and paid for half of the bills(his gf was a hotel maid who spent her money on weed). They eventually had a bad breakup and she took the daughter to her mom's and he moved back in with his step dad and was told by the police that custody and the such will be decided in court. Once court happened, the judge didn't give him a chance and gave custody to the mother and child support. He asked if this meant he could see his kid and the judge told him no, it's the mother's decision. Now the mother lives off his child support and he can't see his daughter.
Sexism goes both ways, it may suck that you're doing more of the child care in YOU'RE relationship, but that's not every relationship. And society tends to the favor the mothers which imo is a bigger issue.

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If a woman complains about household "work" - dump her.

Are you doing household "work" aswell?

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Motherhood Isn't The Hardest Job

I love this guy. He talks to conservatives and liberals and no one challenges anything he says xD

[Dziubla]

But jobs dont come with the same energy investment, so why should a dockworker be expected to put in the same amount of effort into household chores as his full time employed academic wife?

Because a woman demands it, duh. Also, why are you using logic? Dude, it's 2019, logic is sexist nowadays.