I'm not going to be a dad

[Dellis0991]

At least not yet.

My fiance just miscarried... at 14 weeks. We thought we were out of the woods. It took us so long... and everything was going great. This hurts so much.

But I feel closer to her than ever, and I'm destroyed but hopeful. I love all of you guys (even those I don't like that much) and I wish you never have to feel this way.

Best,

Dan

I'm sorry, I'll keep you and your wife in my prayers.

[Lurker1]

At least not yet.

My fiance just miscarried... at 14 weeks. We thought we were out of the woods. It took us so long... and everything was going great. This hurts so much.

But I feel closer to her than ever, and I'm destroyed but hopeful. I love all of you guys (even those I don't like that much) and I wish you never have to feel this way.

Best,

Dan

Sorry man i know how that feels my cousin lost her baby like that as well once.

[Blackcoffin]

I can relate unfortunately. Girlfriend had a spontaneous abortion 12 weeks in - we had just told everyone we were waiting for our first child! We were both devastated.

We spent a month talking about it, but in the end, what we both took solace in, was not asking why this happened, but instead asking what would/could've happened if a defect hadn't caused the miscarriage, and instead the child was born with a physiological disfiguration (example: Congenital heart defects, cerebral palsy etc..). Even at a cellular level, nature makes sure the ones capable of making it through, does.

I can retrospectively as a parent now say, I know you'll love anyone you get to call your son or daughter - but to see them not to live to their fullest I think, would be equally but continuously devestating. I still get sad thinking about it, but I'm glad it happened at the absolute earliest stages of life.

We now have two precious children.

Keep fighting! (...Uhm, I mean sexing?)

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

This is not facebook.

If you feel so strongly about it, report his post and move on.

[Queen of Hamsters]

Words can't do much but I still have to say that I'm sympathetic to you and your significant other. I sincerely hope that your next attempt is successful, a child would clearly be so loved with you.

What do you care, you're in favour of abortion you fucking skank.

Abortion is a choice.
A miscarriage, is not.

Leave it to a pro-lifer to not understand the difference though.

[Rhaide]

I can relate unfortunately. Girlfriend had a spontaneous abortion 12 weeks in - we had just told everyone we were waiting for our first child! We were both devastated.

We spent a month talking about it, but in the end, what we both took solace in, was not asking why this happened, but instead asking what would/could've happened if a defect hadn't caused the miscarriage, and instead the child was born with a physiological disfiguration (example: Congenital heart defects, cerebral palsy etc..). Even at a cellular level, nature makes sure the ones capable of making it through, does.

I can retrospectively as a parent now say, I know you'll love anyone you get to call your son or daughter - but to see them not to live to their fullest I think, would be equally but continuously devestating. I still get sad thinking about it, but I'm glad it happened at the absolute earliest stages of life.

We now have two precious children.

Keep fighting! (...Uhm, I mean sexing?)

Thank you brother/sister. This is exactly how we're looking at it. Something obviously went wrong and it's better that it happen so early than something more tragic happen later.

Thank you all so much for your uplifting words. To those of you that disagree or have said something less than wholesome, that's ok. I didn't make this thread in the expectation of unanimous support... I know how the internet works. I love you all anyway. I have no doubt that the overwhelming majority of you will come around someday and understand.

Love you all.

[breadisfunny]

This is not facebook.

most people here can read and are keenly aware of that. thanks for telling us the obvious though. now move along if you've nothing else to contribute.

[Azadina]

Sad to hear that OP I wish you both the best of luck in the future. *hugs* to you both.

[Coffer]

Hang in there. Mom lost her first pregnancy too, and it made her miserable for a long time until she finally had me a whole 7 years later. It's always depressing when it happens, but the fact that you two are closer than before is what matters the most now. Be there for her.

That sucks. But...why would you post this on MMOC? It's a gaming forum, you're just handing your grief as ammunition to the trolls.

If you give even an ounce of a damn about them, you're letting them win. There's no changing some people, especially in the age of the internet.

[Kallisto]

Thank you all. I appreciate your kind words. I'm very lucky to be with such a wonderful and strong woman. Every good thing, and every bad thing that we have gone through has made us closer... this will be no exception.

I sincerely hope you all have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

Much love.

Hang in there man. I know the pain of losing babies due to miscarriage. It's the absolute worst feeling. Nothing comes close. It happened to me twice and it really is the worst.

Even today I still think of my two boys that never made it nearly every day. The pain subsides but never fully goes away but you learn to cope. To have live and all that.

If you need help always keep the option of talking to a professional with your fiance. Be with her, she'll need it desperately. Many "What if I....?" will likely be going through her mind right now.

Most of all if you're trying for children. Do not give up hope. Do not try again right away obviously. Give yourself time to grieve and for you both to recover mentally as well as physically for her. But do try again and have the family you have wished for.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

I'm sorry for your pain. Its never deserved.

[Flarelaine]

At least not yet.

My fiance just miscarried... at 14 weeks. We thought we were out of the woods. It took us so long... and everything was going great. This hurts so much.

But I feel closer to her than ever, and I'm destroyed but hopeful. I love all of you guys (even those I don't like that much) and I wish you never have to feel this way.

Best,

Dan

I am sad to hear that. There is hope, though, if the tragedy brought you closer. I wish you the best.