That's ok man. There's a ton of people like that, including me. Most people on this forum have decided to hate on the film a long time ago.
It's ok to hate it, if you truly do. Personally I'd never spent this much time and energy on something I hate though, but to each their own.
I quite enjoyed Rise of Skywalker. It's definitely not the best in the series (Revenge of the Sith was better for example, which puts things into perspective), but it's the best in this trilogy and at least I left the theater satisfied, which is at least more than the immediate disappointment I felt when I left the theatre after The Last Jedi.
I'll probably need to watch it again to form a stronger opinion. It's definitely a lot to take in.