Saw it. Terrible. Terrible terrible terrible terrible. Insultingly terrible.
Unimaginative, shallow, vapid. Paint by numbers. It was like someone combed Reddit for the most witless chuds with the most braindead ideas about what Star Wars is "really about," congealed those ideas into a script (while hopped up on what can only be described as a heroic amount of cocaine), and decided to spoon feed it to the audience like they're babies. Like big overgrown babies who have no clue where mommy is until she says "peekaboo." Like the kind of people for whom Harry Potter is too high-brow.
Should have given the whole thing to Rian Johnson. What a waste.
Spoiler Free Review:
Absolute garbage. They ruined Palpatines character and wasted Kylo Ren at his BEST moment. Just poofs away and then the big ass plot hole in the beginning??? I give this 1 star only for Kylo Ren, C3-P0, Lando, and Finn’s fan service that he should’ve gotten when Kylo was trying to grab the lightsaber in TFA
Spoiler Review:
Rey gains abilities out of her asshole and beyond. Palpatine returns the fuck out of no where with just him reprising episode 3, the best film in this saga, which is an insult to that movie. Palpatines dialogue is abysmal. How they killed him off is so disrespectful to the character. Doesn’t sound like him at all. Hux just is a spy for god knows what reason only to be killed off by some memberry character with hardly a character to remember. Finn never expresses his feelings for Rey. Poe never expresses his feelings for Finn. I could go on and on but I wont. Kathleen Kennedy, go FUCK YOURSELF.
"You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation."
I also like how they decided to retcon Luke into knowing about Palpatine, trying to kill his own nephew and then fucking off to some random planet to hide like a coward. That's such a Luke Skywalker thing to do.
Also who the fuck made the convenient as hell dagger that has a extendable hilt that perfectly lines up with the fallen wreckage of the Death Star(that despite being blown into a million pieces didn't actually explode but rather just break apart and crash into a planet) and shows you where you need to find some stupid wayfinder..?!
Good, good. Let the hate flow through you.
To me the worst is that ending which makes no sense other than to be a nostalgia bomb. Rey goes to Tatooine to honor the Skywalkers. Only... Shmi died there, Anakin hated the place, Luke wanted to leave as soon as she could and Leia's spent time there as a half naked slave to a giant slug. There is zero good reasons for that to be the place for her to honor them. Then to top it all off she takes the last name for herself, which again makes no sense because she knew Leia as a solo and she only lived with Luke for all of 5 minutes and the two didn't really get along well. The ending only existed so they could do a shitty call back Luke with the Binary stars set. Stupid, horrible, shitty insulting ending.
Yeah, but still having Palpatine alive seriously fucks with the cohesion of these three trilogies. I can't even disagree that the chosen one part fucked up a father saving a son. Honestly it would have been better for it to remain that way, but it didn't.
One can't just ignore what has been changed. It's exactly what fucked this movie, since JJ couldn't accept what Rian had changed in his vision and had to fit multiple movies worth of plot to get it back. It's really like JJ didn't accept the chosen one prophecy and pretended it didn't exist. We know from the Mortis episodes in TCW that it did.
Yes which was a bloody nice coincidence, just like how Rey just happened to stand in the correct spot. They could've approached from any direction but nah.. why bother
Some crackpot Sith has a vision of the future and decides to forge a lame dagger lmao
Not to mention they found the dagger BY ACCIDENT
Last edited by Sanguinerd; 2019-12-20 at 02:59 AM.
Feeling the dark side of the Force here.
The tasty tasty hate...
One thing I have to say about this new trilogy is they didn't expand on the Jedi mythos. Hate on the prequels all you want, but they introduced a lot of Jedi concepts and mythology that we use to this day, such as Master/Padawan system, the Jedi High Council, and the Sith as a concept (ancient enemy of the Jedi).
The sequel trilogy references the Jedi mythos, but expands on it barely if at all.
Do they at least try to reckon it up with the chosen one prophesy?
I mean the whole story of anakin/vader is him bringing balance to the force by ending the jedi and the sith.
But then I guess the whole last 3 episodes haven't made much sense in that regard.
Also where did the first order even come from. I haven't seen the latest one but is that addressed?
I have barely read the thread and I haven't watched the movie, but giving any movie a 0 seems a bit exaggerated.
They do not. Anakins story has been made useless. He didn't bring balance because Palpatine didn't die. The movie does say Luke WAS aware of this but didn't do anything either.
And TFA just states from the ashes of the Empire the First Order rises or some shit, despite the Republic being around and in power. They just let it happen.
What's also weird is why the First Order even bothered with Starkiller Base considering planet destroying cannons got fitted onto those new fancy Star Destroyers.
It's all just shite.
But you are wrong because Han was more of a father figure to her then Luke so if anything she should have taken his name. If you want to make the Leia argument that falls apart too because Leia was raised an Organa and married a Solo. Its a huge stretch that of those 3 names Skywalker is the one she would pick. Its a nonsense bullshit choice.
7,8 & 9 are uncanon to me. I don’t give a damn. Rebels was better than this. The Mandalorian. Rogue One. This movie was soooooo rushed. 2 hours and 22 minutes wasn’t enough. In fact they would need another movie to finish this off properly AND redeem the sequels. For the actors and actresses: I am so sorry. Especially to Daisy Ridley and Mark Hamil
"You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation."