Do you think its possible for men and women to just be friends?

[Its possible]

Do you think its possible for men and women to just be friends?

No sexual attraction at all by either? Do you Think that's possible?

[WraithKingOstarion]

yes, of course it is, because not every single person in humanity thinks with their respective sexual organs. and "only if men are in a relationship" being the only way possible is a bad joke and is based solely in personal experience with confirmation bias. one can't assume it's the universal truth for all



for example, it is very easy to demonize males in this day and age and this question to say "only if men are in a relationship" by implying that men can't naturally either be 1.) respectful or boundaries if not in a relationship ... 2.) only gain a sense of loyalty when they "finally" get into a relationship ... or 3.) the whole "all men are dogs" and will stray no matter the circumstance.

for another example and i'll even put my personal life out there: i was with a girl who was my girlfriend for over a year when i realized she ended up cheating on me with her "guy friend" from work who, was apart of our circle of friends, for the last 5 months of our relationship. they became co-workers/friends after we first started dating and being serious... and that 5 month stint ended with me breaking up with her when i found out. we were serious, committed, talking about the future and where i'd like to think that everything she said was genuine and true... finding out what i did made me think not so much.

i should also note that she did not end up dating this person she cheated on me with. it was just a casual fling and to my knowledge had another casual fling with some other person right after.

now this is my personal experience, but i'm wise enough to know that is not every single woman.

there is stigma in current society - mostly western society - about this. when you have trashy reality tv shows, instant access dating apps, even the internet like this website were people pass off their opinions as facts... issues like this get lost in translation way from the truth. you begin to see nothing but the worst aspects of these interactions between males and females and get phrases like "leave 2 people alone in a room long enough and they'll end up fucking"

i've had this conversation many a time in real life and over the internet and it mostly ends up the same: the question is asked, people give yes or no answers, people support their answers with personal experiences from both sides, people end up arguing "no your wrong because this happens to me/i saw this" from both sides... and nothing is gained from it. i suppose people *do* need some personal experiences from both sides to be able to see that it's not just one or the other for every single person ever.

so fresh-off-the-boat burner account making a clearly baited thread... your OP name is the answer to your own thread: yes, it's possible.

[PC2]

It's possible if the man and woman already feel 100% romantically fulfilled with other people. Otherwise it might be impossible for a straight person to not experience any feelings towards the opposite sex.

Also I assume the premise here is we're talking about two friends that are of the same level of attractiveness.

[Deathknightish]

Of course. My best friend is a girl. She's engaged, I'm single. No need for both to be in romantic relationships for it to work.

[PC2]

Of course. My best friend is a girl. She's engaged, I'm single. No need for both to be in romantic relationships for it to work.

But are you equally attractive, if so it seems really weird that you wouldn't experience any non-platonic feelings toward her.

[Themius]

People who bring this question up, are they equally confused at gay men having male friends?

[Deathknightish]

But are you equally attractive, if so it seems really weird that you wouldn't experience any non-platonic feelings toward her.

She does look good, yes. Only reason I don't feel attraction is probably because of all her tattoos. Tattoos turn me off like no other, especially if there are as many as she got.

[Sunseeker]

Yes.

/10stupidquestions

[Santti]

Of course it is possible.

Sorry, but I feel this is a rather dumb question.

[Freighter]

I used to think so but I don't believe it now.

[Kumorii]

Just be friends, sure, absolutely. Have 0 amount of attraction in it? Doubtful. I've yet to see it between any people. There is always some trace of it according to me. Sometimes it causes drama, sometimes it's so little it's irrelevant etc etc. Always something there.

[Themius]

Just be friends, sure, absolutely. Have 0 amount of attraction in it? Doubtful. I've yet to see it between any people. There is always some trace of it according to me. Sometimes it causes drama, sometimes it's so little it's irrelevant etc etc. Always something there.

I've had gay friends I was attracted to, at some point the idea of any sexual attraction becomes like "no, he's basically my brother what?! Ew."

[PC2]

I've had gay friends I was attracted to, at some point the idea of any sexual attraction becomes like "no, he's basically my brother what?! Ew."

Okay but the dynamics of straight people could be different enough from the dynamics of gay people that the analogy doesn't work.

[Themius]

Okay but the dynamics of straight people could be different enough from the dynamics of gay people that the analogy doesn't work.

What is different?

What is this "different dynamic"? I thought this was about being friends among people one can also be attracted to. What is this special dynamic precisely?

[Kumorii]

I've had gay friends I was attracted to, at some point the idea of any sexual attraction becomes like "no, he's basically my brother what?! Ew."

Not sure I follow you completely. You were attracted to them and then you become such good friends you can't see them like that anymore? Then your friendship still had that attraction in it, as time goes on you don't want to squander it or spoil the relationship due to how people make sex complicated. I don't think in that case you suddenly find them less attractive or less funny or whatever, your priorities changed though.

[Dwarfhamster]

Just be friends, sure, absolutely. Have 0 amount of attraction in it? Doubtful. I've yet to see it between any people. There is always some trace of it according to me. Sometimes it causes drama, sometimes it's so little it's irrelevant etc etc. Always something there.

Best response, I think. Like most of life, it's rarely ever a black-or-white issue. There's always some gradient of it, whether a lot of a little. I think as humans, we're attracted to, well, attractive things. (Obviously not talking about family or same sex if straight, or different sex if gay, etc.)

[PC2]

What is different?

What is this "different dynamic"? I thought this was about being friends among people one can also be attracted to. What is this special dynamic precisely?

I don't know how it works but my point is there could be some kind of asymmetry in terms of men/women and straight/gay people that complicates the analogy.

[Themius]

Not sure I follow you completely. You were attracted to them and then you become such good friends you can't see them like that anymore? Then your friendship still had that attraction in it, as time goes on you don't want to squander it or spoil the relationship due to how people make sex complicated. I don't think in that case you suddenly find them less attractive or less funny or whatever, your priorities changed though.

It isn't anything about "squandering" a relationship. It is more that I just lose any physical interest at all. Doesn't matter if they're physically attractive I just... can't see them that way and it isn't that I am forcing myself to not see them that way. I just don't.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't know how it works but my point is there could be some kind of asymmetry in terms of men/women and straight/gay people that complicates the analogy.

So you seem to be throwing out the analogy without having an understanding of why you're throwing it out?

The problem is simple.

Person A and Person B are friends.

Person A and Person B are also attractive.

Specific sexuality doesn't matter.

[PC2]

He seems to be suggesting that attraction may work differently for those that are not heterosexual. For whatever reason.

Attraction could work the exact same for everyone. It wouldn't surprise me, I just felt like maybe homosexuality makes the OP's question more complicated.

[Themius]

Attraction could work the exact same for everyone. It wouldn't surprise me, I just felt like maybe homosexuality makes the OP's question more complicated.

It doesn't make the OP's question more complicated. It is pretty simple.

"Can you just be friends with a person you're also attracted to" is the root question.