I knew someone was going to go to this shitty argument. There is a right way and a wrong way to introduce a character of this sort. The right way would be like, say... Tyrande and Malfurion. Love them or hate them, Tyrande's dedication for Malfurion is genuine. Malfurions is a little more stoic, but in either way, there is a mutual respect between them, even if you find their love story to be poorly written, as I do. Malfurion regards you as a champion of the Alliance, and demonstrates respect for the heroes of the alliance. Barring any of his other faults, people at least like Malfurion, even if they think his taste in women is a little on the bad side.
But that;s not Nathanos. He's a useless simp, a lapdog and a doormat. And since shit runs downhill, he lets you know how useless you are, like an ingrate, and I'm not afraid t say it, if I was a soldier and had a leader that treated everyone under him the way Nathanos does, he'd most likely be the victim of a friendly fire incident. He is definitely the stuff mutinies are born of.
Jaina is one of the most powerful heroes of the Alliance, and could absolutely shred Nathanos, and put his ass on ice for good. She is arguably more powerful than most of the other members of the Alliance, but I don't see her talking down to her subordinates. Members of the Alliance respect her, and yet, Mathias Shaw isn't a little lap dog for her. Neither is Genn Greymane or Anduin Wrynn. it is possible for a woman to command respect without being a cunt about it. And Sylvanas is a cunt, and Nathanos is her little pussy boy simp. That's not the triggering you think it is. It's shitty writing and is the reason shit like Ghostbuster 2.0 female edition went tits up. Look into what suspension of disbelief is and get back to us.
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He's both. Really, it is possible that both things can be true.
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There is a standard by which one can look at a character, and determine a character to have either a weak character, a predictable character, a poorly written character, an uninteresting character, and a shitty character. A shitty character is what I will define as having 2 of more of the other characteristics. In Nathanos' case, he is poorly written, mostly because the inspiration behind him is a try-hard neckbeard, and not interesting, for the same reason. Reliance on him being Sylvanas' lap dog creates a perfect justification for it, but still doesn't save Nathanos from being poorly written.