Does "love" exist ?

[Big Thanks]

In your opinion does "love" exist? And if you think it does feel free to explain if you want.
Im a true sceptic and would like to see what other people think about it.

So my opinion is:
There is no "love"...love is a lie and there is only "desire"
Desire for having the other person for oneself
Desire for money, power, sex, family, warmth...whatever. There is only "desire"

Why do i only believe in "desire" and not "love" ?

Because if love was real...wasnt it supposed to be selfless and altruistic

Then why do we feel entitlement to be liked back, rage when things dont go our way, feel empty and lost without the other?
So my deduction is:
Love doesnt exist, and EVEN if it does..is ugly to look at...because is just one person with feelings of being incomplete without another person.

A mother's love seems to me the closest thing to true love? idk...even friendship seems better.

------------

My friend told me this:

When you decide to love someone you open this imaginary door to enter an imaginary room with the other person...and you will either:
A) Live happy together
B) Have to break the wall with your forehead until you make a hole to get out

-------------

Whats your opinion?

[Bodonius]

I think its hard to find love when your young, you think you do but then you cheat anyway and things end.

But when you get older its easier, you find someone that your really like and after awhile you realize this is what love is. Someone you really care about and would die for just to keep safe. Then if your lucky and get a kid (and your not a horrible person) you will see that this talk about there is no love is just nonsense talk.

[Raetary]

I don't know, let's ask Dr. Psychology.

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my boyfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes the concept of love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

https://psychology.wikia.org/wiki/Love

[KOUNTERPARTS]

It does if you believe in it.


It doesn't if you don't believe in it.

[Omega10]

In your opinion does "love" exist? And if you think it does feel free to explain if you want.
Im a true sceptic and would like to see what other people think about it.

So my opinion is:
There is no "love"...love is a lie and there is only "desire"
Desire for having the other person for oneself
Desire for money, power, sex, family, warmth...whatever. There is only "desire"

Why do i only believe in "desire" and not "love" ?

Because if love was real...wasnt it supposed to be selfless and altruistic

Then why do we feel entitlement to be liked back, rage when things dont go our way, feel empty and lost without the other?
So my deduction is:
Love doesnt exist, and EVEN if it does..is ugly to look at...because is just one person with feelings of being incomplete without another person.

A mother's love seems to me the closest thing to true love? idk...even friendship seems better.

------------

My friend told me this:

When you decide to love someone you open this imaginary door to enter an imaginary room with the other person...and you will either:
A) Live happy together
B) Have to break the wall with your forehead until you make a hole to get out

-------------

Whats your opinion?

My opinion:

Love absolutely positively and definitely exists.

But it is very very complicated as well as being intense. Which means that people run over land mines for reasons they don't understand and feel lots and lots of intense pain now and again. Which really sucks. And - by this I mean just about everybody.

I completely disagree with the idea of a soul mate. And, if you tell someone you are their soul mate, that is their green light to completely enslave and abuse you for as long as you continue to think of them as your soul mate.

Love takes many many forms. Two good friends most definitely love each other even if their only physical contact is at most hugging.

Love is not eternal. People love one set of people and things one year, and possibly another set of people and things a few years (or less) later. Everyone who has had a second marriage loved one person at one time, and a different one some time later, sometimes totally hating their first spouse at that time.

Finally: being in love with someone is an active skill and not something that passively happens. The longer you love something, the more you are willing to put up with before calling it quits. And the intensity of love in the beginning of a hot passionate romance can sometimes be converted into something stable and enduring. But it takes a lot of hard work, and also just plain luck. We don't always, or even often, get to choose our own destinies.

[Milchshake]

Love is real.

Have a nice day.

[Biglog]

The big thing with love is that you care more about the other person than yourself. That can be a rare thing in today's society unfortunately, but it exists. The desire to be with someone you love doesn't negate that it is love. But a lot of people today confuse love with being "loving" to someone just hoping for something selfish in return (sex, money, clout, etc). Ideally it's genuine love and goes both directions.

I also think it's important to level-set on realistic expectations around soulmate love. If you fall in love and are with someone for life, that's 50-60 years of being together in most cases. Odds are that your love will evolve and change over that time. That is just human nature as we age. In most cases couples that have been together 20+ years aren't still hanging on each other like 16 year olds at the mall. It doesn't mean they aren't in love. Relationships that last will realize those changes will happen over time and will adapt to balancing love and personal space.

[Ghostpanther]

Absolutely. And it is sad anyone would question if it does. To name just 4 things out of many I love, would be my wife and 3 children we have. The thought of losing any of them is a horrible thought I rather not think about.

[Adamas102]

So my deduction is:
Love doesnt exist, and EVEN if it does..is ugly to look at...because is just one person with feelings of being incomplete without another person.

Oof... This is not a good look for you, I'm sorry to say. I really don't know what compels people to make posts like these that out them as being unbearably edgy and immature. Love comes in many forms, and has been recognized across cultures and time since pretty much the beginning of written history. You're not really making any sort of deep and insightful statement by questioning its existence.

KALAMITY a few posts above probably paraphrased it better, but to be more specific (at the cost of maybe sounding a bit mean) if you don't believe love exists then you're probably too selfish and socially inept to ever find it. You call it "desire" but everything you describe can be more accurately described as "selfishness". If that's the lens through which you see the world, then it's no surprise that you think love doesn't exist.

[Fencers]

Of course, it's a strong concept of attachment and enjoyment. Love is as "real" as happiness, hatred, or sadness.

If you asked the question, "Is sadness real?" it would be just as foolish as asking if love is real. Either you are begging the question or one is imagining criteria to suit their own emotional state.

Countless examples of people who love each other, their children things, pets, hobbies, activities, and so forth. Emotions are real, again, countless examples of this exist in every culture and throughout history. Objectively, we know emotions are real; people experience and act upon emotion. The concept of, think of emotions as nesting dolls, is expressed differently from person to person, time, and culture.

Trying to argue people do not experience strong emotional attachments and/or enjoyment is absurd, juvenile &/or ignorant.

Basically, you don't know what you are talking about, OP.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...nd-objectively

https://fortelabs.co/blog/how-emotions-are-made/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5390709/

[arkanon]

Oof... This is not a good look for you, I'm sorry to say. I really don't know what compels people to make posts like these that out them as being unbearably edgy and immature. .

You get used to it.......

The confusing part is this is a very easily researched topic, with highly qualified professionals with decades of in depth research an analysis to read through.

Then why do we feel entitlement to be liked back, rage when things dont go our way, feel empty and lost...

At least you are honest about the "rage" part:

https://www.mmo-champion.com/threads...ever-MMO-Champ

[Pohut]

What is love?

[Volatilis]

This thread seriously reminded me of that fat guy with no neck in his late 40s who went on a dating show with a philippines chick like half his age and wanted her to take an STD test.

Love exists. Maybe just work on your flaws and become a better person where someone can fall in love with you.



This guy. He had a melt down and said he didnt believe in love. Yea... Dont be that guy.

[Felya]

Yes, there is a chemical reaction in your brain that correlates with the feeling of love... and eating chocolate...

[Zaktar]

In your opinion does "love" exist? And if you think it does feel free to explain if you want.
Im a true sceptic and would like to see what other people think about it.

So my opinion is:
There is no "love"...love is a lie and there is only "desire"
Desire for having the other person for oneself
Desire for money, power, sex, family, warmth...whatever. There is only "desire"

Why do i only believe in "desire" and not "love" ?

Because if love was real...wasnt it supposed to be selfless and altruistic

Then why do we feel entitlement to be liked back, rage when things dont go our way, feel empty and lost without the other?
So my deduction is:
Love doesnt exist, and EVEN if it does..is ugly to look at...because is just one person with feelings of being incomplete without another person.

A mother's love seems to me the closest thing to true love? idk...even friendship seems better.

------------

My friend told me this:

When you decide to love someone you open this imaginary door to enter an imaginary room with the other person...and you will either:
A) Live happy together
B) Have to break the wall with your forehead until you make a hole to get out

-------------

Whats your opinion?

Love is a feeling of deep affection which IMO only exists if you make sacrifices on behalf of others. When you make enough sacrifices, do enough things on behalf of another person or animal, you feel what I would describe as actual love. It's not to say some precursors can't exist, or that affection/appreciation can't exist without putting the work in, of course they can. But real, actual love? It comes from doing things on behalf of another person/creature/thing. The less altruistic you are about it, the more it is about you and not the other person, the less you'll feel. If it doesn't seem possible or real, you're either young or have just been a pretty selfish person for your life.

[Sorensen]

Yes obviously, does air exist?

[Sezerek]

Was kinda expecting this to be an AryuFate thread, but Shadoowpunk is also a great substitute for that lmao.

And yes love is real, as are all the other emotions.

[Spectral]

Of course, it's a strong concept of attachment and enjoyment. Love is as "real" as happiness, hatred, or sadness.

If you asked the question, "Is sadness real?" it would be just as foolish as asking if love is real. Either you are begging the question or one is imagining criteria to suit their own emotional state.

Perfect answer, right here.

[Sorensen]

Was kinda expecting this to be an AryuFate thread, but Shadoowpunk is also a great substitute for that lmao.

And yes love is real, as are all the other emotions.

Love isn't an emotion though it's an action.

[eschatological]

Because if love was real...wasnt it supposed to be selfless and altruistic

Then why do we feel entitlement to be liked back, rage when things dont go our way, feel empty and lost without the other?

Yes, of course it does.

The above quote is strange. You provide the definition of love, and then claim it can never be. Without any evidence, when it surely can be. The second sentence is a reflection of your inability (or lack of opportunity) to love.

I've very much been in love with someone, who I am no longer with. And while it's sad that that relationship ended (because of things outside our control), I still have it, it was selfless inasmuch as we had to let each other go, and I am not empty for having lost it. Even with that sadness, that love has expanded my capacity for happiness, and has been ever-present in my relationships since then.

To wit (emphasis mine),

On Love

Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
He threshes you to make your naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.