Do you consider friends as important as your partner?

[beanman12345]

Okay, I'm not sure what your argument is.

Doesn't surprise me, bless your heart.

[PC2]

Exactly, bless your heart.

I mean you won't even make arguments about the topic so how am I suppose to understand what your point is?

[PACOX]

Friends should not be jealous towards or try pull you from your spouse unless you are in a toxic relationship. Full stop.

[dextersmith]

Why don't you just get with this bff of yours?

I was thinking this but quickly realized one or the other must be ugly or fat AF......or have penile detriments.

[Deathknightish]

I was thinking this but quickly realized one or the other must be ugly or fat AF......or have penile detriments.

None of us are ugly. There's no law of nature that says that two people who aren't ugly eventually get aroused on one another.
Maybe if we had met in other circumstances things would be different, but with her beginning as my room mate's girlfriend who moved in as well, at the same time as I had a girlfriend, and we became friends from there. We were friends for like 2 years before any of us were single. Lots of time for our love towards each other to be simply platonic.

[Aurgjelme]

No, not even close.

[Sorensen]

None of us are ugly. There's no law of nature that says that two people who aren't ugly eventually get aroused on one another.
Maybe if we had met in other circumstances things would be different, but with her beginning as my room mate's girlfriend who moved in as well, at the same time as I had a girlfriend, and we became friends from there. We were friends for like 2 years before any of us were single. Lots of time for our love towards each other to be simply platonic.

If the both of you aren't ugly why is there no attraction. Are either one of you not into the opposite sex?

[Lynarii]

If the both of you aren't ugly why is there no attraction. Are either one of you not into the opposite sex?

Not everyone reduces every other person of a single gender down to sexual appetite?

There are plenty of people who I think are good looking but I have no real desire to sleep with. The person who I'm actually WITH is someone who I adore spending time with, I'd want them to be part of my life regardless of whether or not we were a couple... that aspect of it just makes an already good relationship even better. So yes, if I wasn't in a relationship with this person, they would absolutely be my best friend. As for my other friends, I don't think I could single one of them out as being clearly more important to me than all the others. I have a small group of people who mean the world to me, and they all bring something unique to the table that makes them the best person to be friends with in various scenarios. They all have their failings as well that make them not a great choice for certain things, because they're human beings and that's okay.

[dextersmith]

None of us are ugly. There's no law of nature that says that two people who aren't ugly eventually get aroused on one another.
Maybe if we had met in other circumstances things would be different, but with her beginning as my room mate's girlfriend who moved in as well, at the same time as I had a girlfriend, and we became friends from there. We were friends for like 2 years before any of us were single. Lots of time for our love towards each other to be simply platonic.

It's a good thing you don't have to convince anyone but yourself cause I don't buy it. What about her? What lie did she tell you when she friend zoned you? Maybe it's not a physical thing. It could be manliness, income, class, demeanor, vernacular; anything can disqualify someone from being boyfriend material.

I love you but ewww don't touch me!

[Felya]

lol... "who would be a better mother"?

Monkeys gravitate to the softer one...

[Deathknightish]

It's a good thing you don't have to convince anyone but yourself cause I don't buy it. What about her? What lie did she tell you when she friend zoned you? Maybe it's not a physical thing. It could be manliness, income, class, demeanor, vernacular; anything can disqualify someone from being boyfriend material.

I love you but ewww don't touch me!

Not sure why it's so unbelievable to have a friendship with someone and there being no attraction. Friendship is friendship, love is love. Equally important, but different functions.

[Sunseeker]

No. Important, yes, different important, also yes. Equally important? No.

Partner > Friends. Even if the difference is slight.

[Adamas102]

Ok, I understand!

Personally that's just one part of life, but not necessary the most important one.I think having one best friend that you talk to regularly and meet up is just as important, even more, than any spouse, even if you don't build a life together in the practical sense. I think that's one positive a best friend has over your romantic partner. You only have to see each other when you both want to, and you can skip out on days you just want to hide under the sheets and not come out because everything sucks.

If your significant other is someone you don't want around when you're just not feeling it, then you made a really poor choice there.

I mirror what almost everyone else has said; my wife is my best friend. There isn't a day that goes by where I wish she just wouldn't be around. I have plenty of great friends as well, but but they all take second place to my wife.

[Sorensen]

Not sure why it's so unbelievable to have a friendship with someone and there being no attraction. Friendship is friendship, love is love. Equally important, but different functions.

its not unbelievable but if that person means that much to you and you consider her attractive why wouldn't you just be a couple then you have your best friend and romantic partner in the same package.

[dextersmith]

Not sure why it's so unbelievable to have a friendship with someone and there being no attraction. Friendship is friendship, love is love. Equally important, but different functions.

Marriage is more than a contractual function for most nowadays. Friendship is normal until it's beyond marriage.

[Deathknightish]

Marriage is more than a contractual function for most nowadays. Friendship is normal until it's beyond marriage.

I don't question that. Of course I want to marry out of love. I'm just of the opinion that a best friend can be just as important, just in other areas your wife don't fill. For me, it's not a competition where one is better or more important than the other, that's all.

[PC2]

lol... "who would be a better mother"?

Yeah I don't like the idea of "equal importance" so there needs to be a tie-breaker. Which means @Deathknightish should tell us which person would be the superior mom, his bff or his current partner?

[Deathknightish]

Yeah I don't like the idea of "equal importance" so there needs to be a tie-breaker. Which means @Deathknightish should tell us which person would be the superior mom, his bff or his current partner?

Not sure I understand? Hopefully my upcoming girlfriend/wife is a good mother because I don't look to my best friend to father my children. But that doesn't mean she's more important, just that she fills a role my best friend will never fill, just like there are roles my upcoming wife will not fill that my best friend will. They're not competing for the same spot in my life.

[Witchblade77]

I don't question that. Of course I want to marry out of love. I'm just of the opinion that a best friend can be just as important, just in other areas your wife don't fill. For me, it's not a competition where one is better or more important than the other, that's all.

you have to prioritize though and it seems that you are currently prioritizing your friend. which tells me that the spouse you have chosen may not be the best fit, to put it mildly. there is nothing wrong with close friendships. I compare friendship to family, because close friends ARE the family. family you chose. but so should be your spouse. and just like in a family, there is still a hierarchy of priorities, so is there in relationships. if your friend is more important then your spouse, then either you married for convenience, or the spouse you chose is not the right choice.

to expand. I don't have children, but if I had, they would obviously not feel the same role as my SO. however. if it came to a life or death situation or whatnot - I would prioritize children, and so would my SO. its not a competition as much as a matter of priorities when push comes to shove.

[Deathknightish]

you have to prioritize though and it seems that you are currently prioritizing your friend. which tells me that the spouse you have chosen may not be the best fit, to put it mildly. there is nothing wrong with close friendships. I compare friendship to family, because close friends ARE the family. family you chose. but so should be your spouse. and just like in a family, there is still a hierarchy of priorities, so is there in relationships. if your friend is more important then your spouse, then either you married for convenience, or the spouse you chose is not the right choice.

to expand. I don't have children, but if I had, they would obviously not feel the same role as my SO. however. if it came to a life or death situation or whatnot - I would prioritize children, and so would my SO. its not a competition as much as a matter of priorities when push comes to shove.

I can understand that, but honestly, how often do two situations that require your attention at the same time occur? It has never happened to me to the point where I have to ditch one, and not just re-schedule it.

But if you want some examples, sure.

If my best friend wants to hang out and so does my GF, I'll talk to them and compromise so that both become happy.

If my best friend is laying at her home with a twisted ankle and wants me to come and get her and take a taxi to the ER, and my GF/wife wants to eat out at some restaurant, I'll prioritise my best friend because it's more important than dinner.

If my best friend wants to go to the cinema for a movie, and my GF/wife wants me to meet her parents for the first time, I'll prioritise the latter.

It's the severity and seriousness of the situation that decides what I prioritize, not necessarily the person, but most of the time the situations are on such a level that a compromise can be made that make both parts happy. And that's what so great about my best friend and I, we know we will never ever get mad at each other for cancelling or re-planning an event, unless it's douchbag-scumery level of "I want to cancel 10 minutes before we are supposed to meet up".