Correct I play a PLD and 4.2-4.5k DPS is great, nice work. Not sure how new to the game you are, but this type of kill time spread is very common. Gearing in this game scales VERY quickly with stats and the robust skill levels which players operate at can swing kill times by INCREDIBLY large margins, even larger than your examples.
You're not stupid. Healing does need to be balanced around sub optimal situations. I agree wholeheartedly. The problem is that healing is so overpowered and busted in this game that it's BARELY balanced (i.e. still overpowered as hell) in the most DIRE and ridiculous situations, that makes it trivial in anything but, that the only way to stress a healer is put you with a team of 7 other people you're not confident could pass a 4th grade class.
I don't need to use CDs as a tank honestly at all in 8 player content to survive (which is comical and an issue). I would need to use no CDs and have 3-4 vuln stacks to get one shot by a tankbuster in the current EXs/normal mode raids. I know because that's what it took one pull when I lagged horribly and when the desycn ended that's how I died immediately after.
I actually killed EX trial 2 in 5 pulls in a blind learning party. We got really lucky and figured out lightwaves in a single pull because myself and another healer kept each other alive to see the pattern. 75% of our wipes were trying to figure out the add phase which took trial and error, one of which I could have saved if I wasn't an idiot and read debuffs (I kept mistaking that the adds couldn't be brought together or they took no damage, but that's inaccurate).
EX trial 1 was actually hard for us at first because SOMEONE and I won't name names (me I fucking suck) just cannot visualize a rotating room. My brain short circuits every single time. It wasn't until someone told me their solution for it and I was like oh, it's just an if then statement that's easy.
Most people who do week 1 EX trials are playing the game like savage raiding professionals though. It's 100% the BEST time to do them. Trying to do them now or even later is just being stuck with the riff raff who barely pass normal mode raids, let alone anything more demanding. I generally don't count these scenarios in my discussion but rather gameplay with like minded/skilled players.
I've always said mixing player skills creates nearly 100% of this community's toxicity and should never be justified as a benchmark. I.e. "good" healers with "bad" players, or vice versa. I don't think you're a bad player, I think you're just using more demanding content with players who don't belong there as justification for your argument and I fail to see why that should be the benchmark.