I think both games have their microcosms of communities like guilds or FCs that can be full of drama. Maybe I'm lucky, but in both games I was able to find a decent population of people to hang out with and spend years playing games with, and in general I view both communities positively.
I will say though that in general interaction with random people in each game world however, my experience is the exact opposite of yours. Only one game had boomer levels of racist ranting in general chat channels (or whatever is equivalent per game), and it was not FFXIV.