Mists of Pandaria worst expac ever.

[coldfeet]

You know, we live at such a marvellous time.

Until very recently, players would have to wait until a expansion was out so they could buy it and play it to discover if it's any good. Not any more; thanks to the power of the interweb, we now have the ability to know, in advance, if a game will suck or not, with over 100% accuracy. By simply reading posts made on an internet website by random people prior to a expansion release, we can already not only predict but know what a expansion will be like.

Hence, through the power of the inter-net, I can surely state that Mists of Pandaria will be the worst expansion ever released. Ever. Not only the worst expansion ever, but the worst thing ever.

My source? First-hand accounts of people who know what's important. Real professionals that dedicate their lives to getting the most out of any game. People who spend more time on a forum than they spend talking to people on the real world. People who will do everything to pass a little bit of their wisdom to you.

Onto the facts.

First of all, there's the obvious mention that Mists of Pandaria got a negative reaction from MMowned. That, my friends, is reason alone to cancel your pre order and go play Minecraft instead. You should always believe the word of a website if they have the words "MMO" and "Owned" on their name; this implies their forum users are always hardcore progamers, just like you. Never mind the fact that this all originated from just a forum post; other people confirmed they also saw the same forum post, making it true.

And guess what? There will be no mods for Mists of Pandaria on release day! How can that be? A game can't exist without mods. I know this sounds like a joke, but it isn't. Oh no no no: you won't be able to play competitively with all the little features you can think of out-of-the-box. If that isn't a real let down, I don't know what is.

Also, man, the expansion has a singleplayer mode! How stupid is that? They spend precious time on singleplayer, while they could be making more raids instead or, who knows, an internal MP3 player. Who plays singleplayer anyways? I don't, and I know 2 other people who don't, so it's safe to say nobody does.

If you need one more reason not to play Mists of Pandaria: you will get physically ill when playing Mists of Pandaria. This is because Blizzard have thrown "wobbling" on the game, just to make people feel bad. Yes, they did it on purpose. They believe that, if someone feels ill after playing the game, the person will go out and get another copy of the game. It's how their mind works. Staggering, I know, but it's the way it is. Believe me, I know how those companies think.

AND, of course, one of the most important reasons why Mists of Pandaria will suck: class balance. Oh boy, where do I start?

First of all, Rogues are broken. Totally broken. I don't care how much damage they do; they feel weak and they are weak. So they suck. It totally breaks the game. Can't you see? I know it, because people have told me that. If they don't act NOW, the game will be totally broken because of this single piece of information. I DEMAND a stronger sound/animation/model. That's the LEAST Blizzard can do for me. Man, I've already bought 4 other games by them. BOUGHT! Four GAMES! They owe me, you know.

I expect some day companies like Blizzard will listen to their fans - who obviously know a lot more about their games than the developers themselves - and implement ideas suggested by players.

Everybody also knows the expansion will suck on high ping. Dude, what the hell. I want to play on a server on Sri Lanka, with a mere 1586 ping, and Blizzard WON'T LET ME! You know, this is all a plot; they don't want players to play against other countries, exchanging culture and knowledge and reaching world peace. Blizzard is in close collaboration with the Obama government, trying to create disruption in world order and wars for money and oil. You want proof? They're on California!

With these points, my friends, I hope I have helped make the picture a bit more clear: Mists of Pandaria will suck without a doubt, and we know that because people on the internet said so. And the internet, my hardcore progaming friends, is serious business.

Better play Hello Kitty instead.

[Seuchenheini]

Successful Troll is successful?

Don't got t he Point as there's no xpac released yet

[TripleSix]

Obvious troll is obvious.

[Deleted]

Yea canceled my Mists of Pandaria Pre-order right now...thank you mate...

[BatteredSausage]

wasnt this done the other day?
At least use your own material and not others.
Next....

[Pull My Finger]

I'm happy that you pointed that out. Hell, I could have bought the expansion. Now I know better. I won't even bother any more. Thank you.

Btw., Nintendogs Online looks very, very promising. WoW killer right there. First day buyer!

[Chell82]

Don`t quite get it if you mean all the things you state there... or if the entire post is ironic and the real msg is : Don`t judge stuff till you see it ... Or if you just trolling... probly the 3rd im guessing

[_Fire_]

And so it begins :P

[vizzle]

I know this is meant as satire, but no, it doesn't work at all. Not funny.

[Deleted]

so i heard complaining about things not even announced is stupid, i guess your stupid...

[Zaelsino]

Barring the fact that we have no idea what to expect in MoP (aside from input from the titular race, obviously), I don't think any particularly good discussion is going to come of pure conjecture. Please use one of the existing threads if you'd like to voice your dissatisfaction... preferably after we know what to expect.

Moreover... don't troll.