the most stupid ways to injure yourself

[Deleted]

i went to the shoestore yesterday to get me some new winter shoes. so i tried on a pair of low boots with those shoelace hooks, and while trying to put on the left boot, i managed to cut my right thumb on one of those hooks... that was so stupid, when i thought about it later, i couldn't help but think how funny it was to cut yourself on a shoe, of all things.

have you had any similarly stupid injuries?

[Snow White]

"Who throws a shoe? Honestly."

I've cut myself multiple times with my own fingernails. When I was younger I decided to spin around as fast as possible and was surprised when I dizzily fell into the corner of my window frame and gave myself a black eye.

[madyaks]

Tied my shoes this past weekend, felt a pop pop in my lower back, laid up for 2 or 3 days.
Same thing drying off with a towel a few years ago.

[shise]

I was riding my bike when it started to rain. It was this kind of storm where suddenly you have a freaking "monsoon". It toke me about one minute to get to the nearest houses, i was aiming to a church to cover, but God knows i don't believe and he decided to fuck my brakes, so when i realized so, instead of jumping off (i was going way too fast to feet-break it) i decided to crash against the wall, by the time i'd hit it i'd had lost speed (enough to stop and don't even damage the bike), but i forgot to move my knees a bit and it was a cross bike... i kinda fucked up my knee against the handlebar x)

By the time i crashed it stopped rainning and i had a 2 years fucked up knee

[Deleted]

i dislocated my shoulder when i was going to jump down from a scaffold. i held on to the upper beam and jumped but my hand went in to a spasm when i jumped and i wassent able to let go of it. so well dislocated shoulder :/

Dam i was mad after that

[WaitingforSWTOR]

Drugs

/thread

[Deleted]

Friend of mine stepped into a nail,he says "watch out,theres a nail !" And yeah i also stepped into it :s

[Cruzlah]

At school in woodwork class, was fucking around with friend. He pushed me and i ended up digging a chisel into my palm/wrist.

[Deleted]

i was laughing at someone who almost slipped out on the ice, needless to say what happened to me.
i was standing on a high wall (drunk) saying if i jump down, i'll propable fall on my knees and hurt something, so i jumped down, went through my enkle, and wounded my knees, and my pants had a hole in them aswell.

[Deleted]

Broken arm during an arm wrestle. Fortunately I wasn't on the receiving end but damn, Ill never forget that snapping sound.

[KingHorse]

Funniest way I've injured myself: by kicking my own ass.

I was camping, sleeping in an old army surplus sleeping bag. The kind that leaves your head sticking out, but is zipped up tight around your neck. I wake up in the middle of the night gotta pee. I reach up and unzip the zipper...about five inches. It's stuck. I have just enough room to get my hands and head out at the same time. Not too useful when I have to pee. So after twenty minutes of struggling with it, I'm essentially stuck: I can't get the zipper to move at all, can't squeeze out of the hole in the top, and I can't get my arms out far enough to get any leverage to tear the thing open. At this point I'm thinking I'm likely doomed to pee on myself and simply lie in it until someone wakes up in the morning and cuts me out of the damn bag. No, I will not wait for that. I decide that if I get my knee up in the hole around my neck, I can probably use the strength of my legs to tear the hole open and get out. Another 4-5 minutes in and my knee is more or less stuck up against my chest. I get my fingers around the edge of the opening and yank down, while pushing my knee up to get it out of the hole to get free. Hands pull down, knee comes up, smashes face, bloodies my nose, watery eyes...but I'm free. One ripped sleeping bag, one bloody nose, and the most glorious piss of my life.

[shise]

I also dislocated an arm celebrating Fernando Alonso's retire in a race rofl... that was well deserved for my part i guess. I have nothing against him but it was important haha. I was so enthusiastically that my right arm went out and i had to get it in.... that's the most horrible hurt feeling you could ever have :/ and i got it dislocated 3 times in 22 years :/

[Cairm]

I often bite my nails. God damn thats a retarded way of injuring myself...

[Deleted]

i dont remember what happened and have heard many versions, but long story short, was way too drunk and ended up with snapped ligaments in my ankle 3 years ago. i still manage to sprain my ankle because of next to nothing.

[McGrubbin]

A few weeks ago I was messing with one of my dad's cats. I was staring at it while walking down the hall, except apparently I wasn't walking in a straight line and I walked right into the protruding corner of the wall.

A couple years ago I was taking a lasagna out of the oven, except I wasn't being careful with my arms and I burnt my right elbow on the top rack. Still have the scar.

Didn't really do this one to myself, but my parents tell me that as a baby I was taking a bath when somehow the mirror above the bathtub shattered and sliced my legs multiple times. Have the scars from that one, too.

As a kid I fell off the slide in our backyard and sprained my wrist. Then a few years later I was at a birthday party at a roller rink and fell and sprained the same wrist. Then later that year at baseball practice I was playing 3rd base and the guy on second decided to go for third, I turned around to catch the incoming ball and turned back expecting the runner to slide. But he didn't, and ran right into the same wrist and sprained it again. I don't know how I've never broken it.

One of my friends once slapped me and ran off, so I started to chase him. About 100 feet forward I'm about to catch him when I trip in the smallest hole in the area and get a scab all over my right shoulder.

[Kisho]

I turned over in my sleep a few months ago and smacked my head against the corner of my bedside cabinet. It really hurt, but I was tired so went back to sleep.

Woke up in the morning with blood covering my pillow and caked across my face. It kind of scared my girlfriend who woke up at the same time.

[Daniie]

I'm not fat or anything before you judge. One time I remember going down a hill on my bike and trying to open up a Starburst with one hand (so hard btw). Instead of waiting the 30 seconds till the bottom of the hill to stop and open it, I confidently took both hands off the handlebar to get to the sugary prize. Needless to say at high speed and with no real concentration on riding no-handed my wheel turned inwards and off I went into a sore mess on the hill.

TL;DR -- Starbursts are the Devils choice in sweet.

[Andlát]

i have been stabbing in the heel with a toothpick before...

[wanax]

A friend of mine fell off a boat in middle school and broke her arm. What makes it a retarded way to injure herself was that the boat was on land.

[Reyzzz]

Start smoking.