Page 1 of 2
  1. #1
    Stood in the Fire MmoFanatic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

    My dog's testicles are caught in a mouse trap?

    My Rottweiler usually sleeps in the garage so I let him in there a few minutes ago forgetting that I had placed a few mause traps in there. the dog is still relatively young and has testicles the size of tennis balls. apparently he was dragging those monsters too close to a trap and it snapped right on his nuts. He's really angry right now and won't let me close enough to help. He already bit me really hard and i'm bleeding pretty bad. I tried shooting him with a horse tranquilizer dart but I missed and it blew out one of the tires on my car so i can't drive to the vet or anything. My plan right now is to have my 4 year old approach it from the front to distract the dog while I sneak up behind him and club him with a tire iron. Does anybody have a better idea?

  2. #2
    Sounds good. Rub the 4 year old with meat first so the dog will pay him more attention.

  3. #3
    Bit too unbelieveable. You tried too hard I'm afraid. It was around the time when you happened to shoot out the tyre on your car that I stopped believing it, and then when you said you're sending your 4 year old in? Nah.

    Nice try though.

  4. #4
    is this a bad joke?

  5. #5
    10/10, would read again lol

  6. #6
    ohhhh my....

    do you have more of those darts? and don't you dare bringing your kid into this man!

  7. #7
    ohhhh you had me up until the horde tranquilizer.
    "Certainly no one who is not a desirable parent should be permitted to produce progeny." - Tesla knew WoW was coming.
    (these two are in order of posting)
    Quote Originally Posted by Chockolate View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Chockolate View Post
    I was actually expecting more people to agree with me. It seems like these forums are a place where young adults can show their debating skills.

  8. #8
    This was a good read I must admit. Pretty sure your just trolling, but if not then call animal control.

  9. #9
    I agree meat covered child is a great idea be sure to slap the dog with a stick a few times first get him really angry

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by MmoFanatic View Post
    I tried shooting him with a horse tranquilizer dart but I missed and it blew out one of the tires on my car so i can't drive to the vet or anything.
    I believed you until here.
    Your grasp of the obvious is inspiring.

  11. #11
    baad joke..

  12. #12
    Everyone knows glue traps are better than snap traps.
    My Cracked articles, writing blog, and Twitter.

    The problem with the internet is parallel to its greatest achievement: it has given the little man an outlet where he can be heard. Most of the time however, the little man is a little man because he is not worth hearing.

    Want to chat with people who aren't idiots? Join our IRC.

  13. #13
    High Overlord McBarty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    The Netherlands
    Although your car is immobilized, it can still be of practical use to you. Make sure the room is tightly sealed shut, and find a way to enter the vehicle. When you managed to do so, let the car run stationairy. You can choose to hit the gas to speed up the process, or maybe tap the pedal on the rythm of the tune playing from the radio, this would make the time it takes more enjoyable and it will feel like it passes by more quickly. If you are uncertain if you can get past the dog to reach your car, the 4-year old distraction idea would be the way to go, just make sure to give her a piece of cloth. More important, carry a piece of cloth with you yourself, for when you have to get out of the car to check up on the dog and, if neccesary, your kid. I feel this is the most viable option to keep yourself from harm, and effectively take care of the situation.

    __________this signature was brought to you by tazsar_________
    Healing the earth since the beginning of time, with monocle smiles

  14. #14
    The tranq thing kinda made it to obvious mate.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Ripoff View Post
    The tranq thing kinda made it to obvious mate.
    Tranq + 4 year old bait.

  16. #16

    Thousands of these on Yahoo answers, copy and pasted.

  17. #17
    Just leave the trap on his balls. They will eventually fall off problem solved. He also will be neutered this saves you some money.

    j/k btw ;-)

  18. #18
    Do you happen to know a druid?

  19. #19
    I dunno, this sounds kinda fake.

  20. #20
    it doesnt matter, there have already been confirmed outbreaks of zombies, the corrupt news media is trying to cover it up.. several medium sized cities have already been over run, the government has no idea how to stop this problem from getting worse. im going to be heading to a cabin out in the woods with my survial kit as soon as im done posting this, already saw a few of the undead down my street, i hope its not to la

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts