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Hehe, not bad at all.Originally Posted by Dracoin
So I read this somewhere a while ago, so I might not get everything right.
In a class room, during some class, let's say history.
A guy keep answering the correct answer on all of the teacher's questions.
A girl in the class then says "omg he's such a nerd"
The teacher then says "Don't say that, he might be your boss someday"
The guy then replies "I sincerely doubt that, I'm not planning on becoming a pimp"
Made me laugh quite a bit when I read it.
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2012-01-18, 07:52 PM #21Herald of the Titans
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Hehe, not bad at all. Originally Posted by Dracoin
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2012-01-18, 07:56 PM #22Pit Lord
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Hartman is my hero
"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! You will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"
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2012-01-18, 07:57 PM #23Herald of the Titans
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Sheldon has some amazing ones in the Big Bang Theory
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2012-01-18, 08:28 PM #24Deleted
This was a history I once heard.
There were two gypsys arguing about something. One call the other "Fat". She answers: "I'm not fat I'm just building up shit to shit on your deads".
People in the street started to clap for the comeback.
Once I use a lot: "OK, I forgive you, your parents must be siblings. It's not your fault"
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2012-01-18, 08:30 PM #25The Patient
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"Adjust your wig – those lobotomy scars are sticking out!"
My blog & rants: www.wocky.me
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2012-01-18, 08:36 PM #26Stood in the Fire
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Shouldn't you be leaving a diaper in a parking lot somewhere.
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2012-01-18, 09:07 PM #27Epic!
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The jerk store just called and they are all out of YOU. j/k
"I bet you're the kind of person who fuck a person in the ass and then not even have the god damn common courtesy to give him a reach around. I'll be watching you."
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2012-01-18, 09:07 PM #28The Lightbringer
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You have a small penis.
Originally Posted by Cattaclysmic
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2012-01-18, 09:07 PM #29Herald of the Titans
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LOL not bad . Originally Posted by Melpo
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2012-01-18, 09:12 PM #30Keyboard Turner
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Oh you want my cum back? It's in your mom's throat.
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2012-01-18, 09:55 PM #31Bloodsail Admiral
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We have a winner. Originally Posted by LiiLoSNK
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2012-01-18, 09:59 PM #32Deleted
33 Seconds into the scene, possibly the best put down I have ever heard.
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2012-01-18, 10:05 PM #33The Patient
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lawl that was fantastic. Originally Posted by Siggma
Originally Posted by KingHorse
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2012-01-18, 10:06 PM #34Brewmaster
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"You're such a cunt. When you were being born a doctor walked by and said HEY, look at that cunt coming out of the cunt of that cunt."
hope I dont get banned for this one lol.
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2012-01-18, 10:21 PM #35Brewmaster
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I'm a big fan of Winston Churchill's insults. They're not really all-purpose, but man are they sharp.
"If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
"Nancy, if you were my wife, Id drink it."
"Have reserved two tickets for opening night. Come and bring a friend if you have one."
"Impossible to come to first night. Will come to second night if you have one."
"Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking?"
"No, it’s purely voluntary."
And of course, the classic:
"Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!"
"You’re right Bessie, and you’re ugly. But tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober."
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2012-01-18, 10:31 PM #36Mechagnome
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Sounds like he owned himself. Pretending he wanted to dance with his brother. Originally Posted by elfispresley
Originally Posted by Slummish
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2012-01-18, 10:33 PM #37Banned
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How is that funny? Maybe if wanting to dance with your brother in a situation you'd ask some girl to dance made any sense it would be funny, but otherwise you're just going "YOU HAVE A MUSTACHE!" Originally Posted by elfispresley
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2012-01-18, 10:35 PM #38Field Marshal
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You're the load your mom should have swallowed.
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2012-01-18, 10:40 PM #39Deleted
I have actually said this once to a girl at a party acting up.
"Wow you are an amazing girl...it's amazing how you sweat so little considering how fat you are"
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2012-01-18, 10:42 PM #40Brewmaster
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Your mom should have spit you into a kleenex
Originally Posted by kasath
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