I need a little bit of help.

[Colmadero]

Me and my girlfriend of 2 years are going to go to a party in less than a month and she said she has been checking out online courses to do her own make-up to look "hot" for me. I really appreciate this, but the make-up isn't the problem. Over the last year or so she has gained a LOT of weight and I'm afraid to that I won't find her attractive on said party. She has a lot of hope on looking good for me for this party but I don't find her extra pounds appealing at all.

How should I go about this? Should I say "Yes, you look tremendously hot" or try the big "Try losing some weight"?

Thanks for your time

[Doge is Dead]

"Honey, you're getting fat and it's grossing me out. Like, even your cousin who was mangled in that awful car wreck and is now missing an arm and half her face is looking pretty good by comparision."

I kid, I kid. Unless you want to be spending your nights with Handgelina I suggest you keep your mouth shut about it and try using a subtextual approach or something.

[Olianda]

My dad was teaching some kids about lying, good and bad and such. He said, "If your wife comes down the stairs, and asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" what do you do?" One person piped up and said "Tell her it's not the dress!"

If you're going to a party, don't you DARE say that to her there. If you really care about her, explain to her that you think it's not healthy.

[Kalyyn]

WOW. That is a tough one. Hrmmm....

I have no clue, but I wish you the best of luck. I genuinely hope you find a way to win at this, and then come tell us all how you did it.

[Colmadero]

I have talked to her about this in the past... all she comes up with is "If you want a skinny girlfriend, just dump me and get another girl" followed by a heated discussion. I've seen pictures of her before me and OH GOD... she was smoking hot and...just damn...

[Deleted]

What she is now isnt what she was.. if she's changed from the girl you were attracted to you have every right to not be happy. However if u 'accepted' her the way she is then really you have no argument. If you dont find your girlfriend attractive why stay with her, love is great, but can you see yourself having a relationship with someone that already you are starting to not find attractive.... Picture her in 10yr after 2kids..

[chadwix]

Tell her, "Why care so much about your face and so little for your body?"

Actually i wouldnt

If she doesnt wanna lose weight she isnt going to. Maybe being around some smaller girls will inspire her to tighten up some. I wouldnt push it if its a genetic/gland thing.

Otherwise you can try some reverse positive on her. Tell her she is looking pretty good lately, how much have you lost type stuff to make her think you think she is working on it. She will start to look at herself differently and work on it.

Also helps todo more with her than have sex Do some exercise or something to nudge her in the right direction.

[Colmadero]

Anybody else?

[ComputerNerd]

Try it from a health perspective.
Ask her why she is so willing to risk her own health.

[Badpaladin]

If she's not interested in losing the weight, you're not obligated to stay with her. As far as the party is concerned, I'd put on a good show so that you don't embarrass her publicly.

[cubby]

If she's not interested in losing the weight, you're not obligated to stay with her. As far as the party is concerned, I'd put on a good show so that you don't embarrass her publicly.

This. Precisely. Succinctly.

[PromiscuousPenguin]

Mmmh OP, difficult subject to breach with a partner, whether male or female..Out of interest how much "extra weight" are we talking about? And what sort of build are you?

I would have thought that if you do not take good care of yourself and are either stick thin or slightly tubby, it would be slightly out of place to simply ask her to do something about her weight. I find that the more you take care of your body the more it rubs off onto your partner as it usually generates a feeling of guilt for the less trim of the two.

You could try suggesting that exercising is something you guys could do together as opposed to "i'd like you to loose weight". You can get cheap gym memberships these days or you could just go running, rowing w/e. Win-win situation, you would look better and so does she, obviously this depends on both of your levels of motivation. For all you know she may be feeling the same way about your body (too skinny/too fat) but does not want to hurt your feelings.

Whatever you do though, if she has made a special effort to look pleasing for you at this party, compliments are due. Or you can be tactless and very probably regret it for the rest of the evening and maybe longer depending on how she deals with this sort of thing. ;-)

[Deleted]

Try to only buy healthy stuff, try to get her interested in something that requires physical activity. If all else fails, tell her that you don't find her attractive any more, that you want to, but you just can't if she's so heavy. If she refuses, leave her as she is apparently more interested in bad food than you being attracted to her. Do this privately though, not at the party, and try not to do it on her birthday or the day after she lost a relative.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

What kind of pounds are we talking here?

Also, what kind of shape are you in? Have you gained weight? Do you have room for improvement? If so, then if you do want to stay with her, I'd advise that you both sit down and find out where the weight gain problem is coming from, and work out a solution and a daily exercise regiment you can do together, even if it's just spending a half hour out on a walk.

Failing that if you don't mind doing some mental damage, you can always go the old passive aggressive routes of spending the night at the party constantly letting your eyes wander to all the skinny girls, and making sure she notices. Always a classic.

You can also go the less passive route, and when you're ready to go and she's still "getting ready" you can shout "just throw on a tarp and let's go!"

The good news is you have these and in fact many other options friend!