Friend has changed alot, for worse.

[Slackeh]

Ive known this guy for about 3 years, introduced by some other friends that were on the same course and we only got chatting from our love of griefing/trolling on games, and messing around on wow also, but times change and people change, this friend used to be great to chat to and play games with but ive noticed recently little things like pretty much blanking me, talking to other friends behind my back, which i later find out from them anyway, and im pretty sure he stalks me on twitter on some weird account, and also dislikes my videos on youtube, which is sorta minor but its still pretty pathethic that someone would spend time to make accounts to do this.
Or to say/do things when they act like everything is ok when talking to myself, wel that is if im not getting ignored, also another thing i really try my best to drive my friends to the cinema every 3 weeks on the rota between 3 of us, to see the weekly movie but there is some comments and sniggers when i do it that just annoy me alot, im not exactly 100% confident driving with passengers either.

Im just wanting some advice on how i should approach this situation, should i just come all guns blazing at him and say what the hell is wrong with you and why cant you just be like how you were when i knew you before or try a more ask questions and try work it out approach.

We dont even play wow anymore and he moved onto swtor which i refuse to play, he also came out as gay like a year ago, so possibly he has feelings towards me?, despite knowing i will never feel that way about guys. Im in a situation that i really dont want to be in and just need some advice that i hope mmo forums can help me with, i came here a few times with some subjects i want some help with, so maybe you can help?

Thanks

[Rukentuts]

Either way you do need to talk to him. Just start off trying to me amiable, and if he starts being a jerk, just tell him he needs time alone.

[Tydrane]

Ive known this guy for about 3 years, introduced by some other friends that were on the same course and we only got chatting from our love of griefing/trolling on games, and messing around on wow also, but times change and people change, this friend used to be great to chat to and play games with but ive noticed recently little things like pretty much blanking me, talking to other friends behind my back, which i later find out from them anyway, and im pretty sure he stalks me on twitter on some weird account, and also dislikes my videos on youtube, which is sorta minor but its still pretty pathethic that someone would spend time to make accounts to do this.
Or to say/do things when they act like everything is ok when talking to myself, wel that is if im not getting ignored, also another thing i really try my best to drive my friends to the cinema every 3 weeks on the rota between 3 of us, to see the weekly movie but there is some comments and sniggers when i do it that just annoy me alot, im not exactly 100% confident driving with passengers either.

Im just wanting some advice on how i should approach this situation, should i just come all guns blazing at him and say what the hell is wrong with you and why cant you just be like how you were when i knew you before or try a more ask questions and try work it out approach.

We dont even play wow anymore and he moved onto swtor which i refuse to play, he also came out as gay like a year ago, so possibly he has feelings towards me?, despite knowing i will never feel that way about guys. Im in a situation that i really dont want to be in and just need some advice that i hope mmo forums can help me with, i came here a few times with some subjects i want some help with, so maybe you can help?

Thanks

I didn't think too much on this until I read that you wrote he recently came out of the closet. This can change how a person behaves to varying degrees, because they've been hiding something very central to the core of themself for a long time and, now that they have the acceptance of their friends, they feel more empowered to externalise those feelings in safe company. It wasn't a really big deal for me because I've always been a gamer geek first and foremost, so my personality didn't change, but I've known people who have changed dramatically after coming out. In some ways, he's probably testing the water, seeing what he can get away with.

That said, some of his actions specific to you suggest that he might have a bit of a thing for you. I'm gay but all of my friends for the past 5 years have been straight, and it's sometimes hard to separate your feelings when you have a really strong friendship with someone and there isn't the obstacle of not being physically attracted to them because of their gender. I don't think he's being passive-aggressive because of you or your sexuality, my guess would be that he's frustrated because you have really good chemistry (which isn't always a sexual thing) but he can't pursue you.

I wouldn't suggest confronting him about it aggressively, unless you don't want to be friends with him any more. No matter how you say it, you'll probably end up hurting his feelings and he'll probably take away from it that you wish he'd never come out. Passive-aggressivity is about getting answers to questions you don't want to ask, or drawing attention to yourself without appearing to seek it. You should tell him how you feel, that he's making you uncomfortable sometimes. Don't give him a reaction when he tries to rile you up, people who seek attention rarely differentiate between positive and negative attention.

Unfortunately, though, things will likely never go back to the way they were. Things rarely do. I think what you can do, though, is restore the power balance somewhat because from where I'm standing, it looks like he has a lot of the power.

[jbandhisguitar]

Either way you do need to talk to him. Just start off trying to me amiable, and if he starts being a jerk, just tell him he needs time alone.

I 100% agree with this. You need to just flat out confront him. People often avoid this. But it is truly the only way to solve things in life between friends.

[rinleezwins]

You just sound paranoic to me.

[Twoflower]

People develop apart sometimes. No need to hang onto this friendship if you dont enjoy it.

[Kerath]

Personally I'd be inclined to speak to him about it, but try to keep it friendly. Sounds to me like he's going through his own stuff at the moment - maybe he hasn't gotten his head round being out of the closet - it's possible that he has maybe had negative reactions from other people that you don't know about, and this is his way of testing the boundaries of his friendship with you. People have done much screwier things under stress.
I always err on the side of getting things out in the open whenever I have problems with friends. Seems to have worked well for me so far.
Good luck OP - I hope you can salvage your friendship.

[Carstanan]

Ive known this guy for about 3 years, introduced by some other friends that were on the same course and we only got chatting from our love of griefing/trolling on games

talking to other friends behind my back, which i later find out from them anyway, and im pretty sure he stalks me on twitter on some weird account, and also dislikes my videos on youtube

^^It seems like he's just a better (or maybe more dedciated) troll than you are. People change, and sometimes two people grow apart from one another. If this has happened... well move on. It's no use trying to be friendly with someone when they reply by being an asshat.

[Deleted]

Have you tried talking to other mutual friends? If they have experienced this same thing or maybe know about a few recent events in his life you were not informed about.

[MuricaIsDead]

...our love of griefing/trolling on games,


he also came out as gay like a year ago, so possibly he has feelings towards me?, despite knowing i will never feel that way about guys.

these 2 lines leads me to believe this is a troll thread.

Infracted

[zenaly]

these 2 lines leads me to believe this is a troll thread.

I dont get why trolls need to post here. gtfo

Infracted