Like I said, some servers play by the RP-rules, others are just "normal" servers for all intents and purposes. My own homebase of Earthen Ring is the latter, even though you still find SOME (not many, but they're there) decent RPers on Alli side. You'll be better off just checking out the servers yourself.
As for RP-rules, they really are simple: Always talk IC (In Character), even in whisper and all public channels (gchat varies by guild), there is no powerlevelling for RP purposes. Your character progresses when his/her storyline allows you to. Avoid using major lore figures ("Yeah, Garrosh forged this staff for me after I taught him to read!"), and at least TRY to look good
Oh, and when in doubt: Do whatever everybody else is doing. Or what your toon would have done.
Edit: If you want someone to discuss stuff with, PM me and we'll chat on Skype or smth! RP can be scary at first, but damn rewarding when you get into it