How would you react to your wife refusing to take on your last name?

[Velaniz]

Topic came up earlier, and I was quite shocked how a lot of my friends (surprisingly enough plenty of females too), would regard a wife opting to keep her own family name instead of adopting her husband's as an act of utmost effrontery.

Granted, a lot of them probably grew up in a setting which was then still very conservative (I'm from an East-Asian country), but societal views even here have evolved drastically, so I thought there'd be a bit more leeway where that was concerned.

Doesn't seem that big a deal to me at all, honestly. I don't see how I could begrudge someone wanting to keep the name they'd had since they were born instead of adhering to unnecessary customs. I don't know if I'd feel less married to someone just because we continued to share a different surname.

Nevertheless, the viewpoints raised were quite interesting, and ranged from "misogynistic traditions" to "it would compromise the stability of the family unit if they don't have the same surname".

Was curious what MMO-C's take on it would be

[Deleted]

Not a single fug would be given, it is a very out dated tradition anyway, what if she asked you to take her name?

[GStar]

Also east-asian decent and really wouldnt bother me honestly. my mum kept her last name and i wouldnt make my future wife change her name. so long as my kids take my name only.

[klaps_05]

I really thought its 2014 everywhere in the world, guess some regions need to catch up!

[Skorpionss]

Not a single fug would be given, it is a very out dated tradition anyway, what if she asked you to take her name?

depends on how much I like it

[noralya]

Wouldn't give a damn, and would probably prefer it actually, and for kids too, if we ended up living in a n english speaking country as my last name is impossible to pronounce with an english 'twist'.

[Kurioxan]

See no reason why she should take my last name.
Id much prefer to make a new name for the family, or join both last names, or simply leave it be as it is.

[Seirith]

I kept my own name when I got married and my husband didn't care. It is no effect on our relationship at all. Been together 16 years and married for almost 8.

I like my last name, it is unique and it is a huge hassle to change everything to his last name. We don't want children so we won't have an issue of having two different last names with a child. If we had wanted children I probably would have taken his name.

[Overthinking]

If I ever had a wife and she didn't take my surname (or more likely, if I married a man he didn't want my surname), I wouldn't care in the least. Of course, maybe I'd want to take their surname instead. It's not hard to understand the identity that someone would attach to the surname that they have lived with their whole life, or the attachment they may have to it.

[Bluesftw]

wouldnt care at all, its up to her

[Aldred]

No big deal. It's just a tradition really, I'm not too fussed otherwise and would be happy for her to keep her own name if she wants to.

Something else that needs to sorted out though - a better title for women than "Ms" that doesn't say anything about marital status.

[logintime]

My best friend kept her surname when she got married, and I'm rather proud of her for it. If by some accident I ever get married, I wouldn't want to change my name either.

[mizeri]

changing name, then changing it back is a huge pain in the ass

[Deleted]

I would be absolutely infuriated that she dare have the nerve to have her own mind and deiced to keep a part of her identity that I fell in love with in the first place!!!

{for those that cant detect sarcasm} - I wouldn't give a fuck, I fell in love with her, not her name.

[Gheld]

I'd stare at her with my Russell Crowe face and say "Do not forget my name."

[Fullmetal89]

My mother uses her fathers last name always has and ever since my grandfather passed away she honors it even more; her father meant the world to her. My dad knows how much she loved her father so he's never once, that I know of, asked her to change it. I've never thought it was a big deal or something worth arguing about but I know some cultures put more emphasis on small things like this. Then again that might have something to do with it since my mothers side of the family has always been more female dominant. Maybe something to do with Basque culture which I believe has always been matriarchal.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Provided there is a good reason, more power to her.

[Immitis]

depends on whether or not her name is ugly

[deadman1]

She doesn't have to, but if it is her way to "destroy the patriarchy" she should know that she most likely goes by her fathers last name, who is also a man.

[Deleted]

If she doesen't want to take your name, you should compromise to share last names, Like Betty Smith becomes Betty Smith-Jones. Because her husbands name is Bob Jones.

I think that's fair enough.