Diablo 3 Guest Pass - Thread

[Deleted]

OK Jonah,

Why was the cat so small?

Because he drank the condensed milk!

Hope you like it!

Thanks, Collyermum

[Deleted]

Guest pass me, please

[Thethirdclyde]

Only have 1 (well two of the same joke) submission for the joke contest so far. If you want a pass, send me your best joke. If you get top three, as chosen by me, at 10:10 est you will get one.

I heard this joke a long time ago. There is a moral to this story.

In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream. The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular.

Gosh…if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.’
There was a fish in the water thinking , ’Gosh…if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.’

There was a bear on the shore thinking , ‘Gosh…if that fly goes down three inches the fish will jump for the fly… And I will grab the fish!!’
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank Of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich….
‘Gosh,’ he thought, ‘if that fly goes down three inches…And that fish leaps for it.. That bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I’ll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch.’
Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one river bank, but I can tell you there’s more. …
A wee mouse by the hunter’s foot was thinking ,
‘ Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches… And that fish jumps for that fly..And that bear grabs for that fish.. The dumb hunter will shoot the bear And drop his cheese sandwich .’
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought,

‘ Gosh…if that fly goes down three inches.. And that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish And that hunter shoots that bear.. And that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich . Then I can have mouse for lunch .’
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he Heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly …
The bear grabs the fish ..
The hunter shoots the bear..

The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich …
The cat jumps for the mouse.. the mouse ducks…
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
NOW, The Moral Of The Story ….

Whenever a fly goes down three inches,

... there is a Moral PM me and I'll send it, or google the joke. I can't send PM's as I am new here.

[scuba2144]

apparently i cant pm yet so ima make some quick posts and message yuo my joke =D

---------- Post added 2012-05-18 at 01:16 PM ----------

So father is at work complaining about how he has a sore elbow. When a co-worker says hey you should try this new machine downtown. If you insert 5 bucks and a dna sample itll tell you whats wrong with you. Unbelieving he headed there on his way home from work. He put his 5 dollars and put his DNA...15 seconds later with the machine making some weird noises he gets a slip and it says you have tennis elbow.. amazed he decides to REALLY test it.. So the man goes home and grabs hair from his wife his daughter and his dog then jacks off in it to top it off... he heads to the machine inserts his 5 bucks then waits... sure enough 15 seconds later and some weird noises a slip pops out and he is dumbfounded when it says the following..Your wife is pregnant and it inst yours...your daughter has the clap...your dog has ring worm.. and if you keep jacking off your tennis elbow is never gonna heal haha xD or here[COLOR="red"]

---------- Post added 2012-05-18 at 01:23 PM ----------

[GrimKasper]

i would love a pass if any1 has an extra.

[Fianor]

Joke submission for Jodah in the hopes of getting a key:
(Can't PM as I don't have 10 posts yet )
======
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
======

[MutantPenis]

Alright so i can't PM yet, so imma post my joke here instead This is for the joke-thingy-contest

So a man was driving a car through the Irish landscape when all of a sudden his car broke down. There was no one there so he just started walking and after a while he saw an inn. he walked there, went past a fence and went in. There was no one there, except for the barkeeper. The man sat down and asked for a beer, which he got. The barkeeper said "Did you pass the fence on your way here?" The man said that yes, he did pass the fence. "Did you like it? Did you think it looked nice?" The barkeeper asked. "Well yes, yes i did. It indeed looked nice." the man replied. "Made that with me own two hands, you know. You'd think they'd call me Rick the fencemaker, wouldn't ya? But nooooooo, that's not what they call me."

The man keeps drinking and asks for another beer, which he gets. The barkeeper again says "So what do you think about the chairs? Pure mahogny is that!" The man replied that it was a very fine chair, very fine indeed. "Made that with me own two hands, that. You'd think they'd call me Rick the chairmaker, wouldn't ya? But noooooo, that's not what they call me."

The man kept drinking and asked for a third beer, which he got. Once again, the barkeeper asked him, and how he was sounding a little annoyed and talked a little fast-paced, "So how do you like this house? It's all wood you know." The man said that "Yes, it is indeed a very nice house, very nice." The barkeeper replied "Made this with me own two hands!" The man replied "Wow, you made this with your own two hands? That's quite impressive!" "Yes, took me a long time to build this, a lot of time." Now the barkeeper sounded outright angry and was clearly upset. "You'd think they'd call me Rick the housebuilder, wouldn't ya?!?! But nooooooooooooooooo!!

BUT YOU FUCK ONE GOAT!!"

[Deleted]

Hello everyone!
I just created my profile when I was searching for the guest passes, because I want one so desperately! I can't wait to play Diablo 3, but sadly I'm completely broke right now... please give me a chance to at least try it out, I'd be forever grateful!
I don't have anything I could offer in return... except maybe I could tell you a few "yo mamma" jokes, I'm good at that. Oh just kidding, I'll just owe you forever I guess.
So... please, please, please send me a guest pass as a PM and I'll be your best friend until the end of time, I promise!

EDIT: I'm from Czech Republic - Europe. If that matters! :3
EDIT 2: Or send it to my email, (it's in my biography on my profile) if you can! (I can't PM yet)

[Punkerr]

I'd like a guest pass if anyone can spare one, in order to try and see if my pc can run this game. Thanks in advance!

[Jodah]

Okay folks the winners are:

Punisher9106:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Bazzi:

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

and Scuba2144:

So father is at work complaining about how he has a sore elbow. When a co-worker says hey you should try this new machine downtown. If you insert 5 bucks and a dna sample itll tell you whats wrong with you. Unbelieving he headed there on his way home from work. He put his 5 dollars and put his DNA...15 seconds later with the machine making some weird noises he gets a slip and it says you have tennis elbow.. amazed he decides to REALLY test it.. So the man goes home and grabs hair from his wife his daughter and his dog then jacks off in it to top it off... he heads to the machine inserts his 5 bucks then waits... sure enough 15 seconds later and some weird noises a slip pops out and he is dumbfounded when it says the following..Your wife is pregnant and it inst yours...your daughter has the clap...your dog has ring worm.. and if you keep jacking off your tennis elbow is never gonna heal haha xD

I want to thank everyone who submitted a joke, if I had more to give out I would. Alas I can only give to three. Winners will receive their codes shortly.

[Lumusnoctis]

If anyone has a spare guest pass that you can't seem to lose, a PM would be appreciated
Mainly because i'm not sure my pc can run it. (Had no time to test during open beta weekend)

thanks ^^

[deviltruck2010]

I would really like to test if my computer can run it before committing to purchase the game.
Could someone please send me a guest pass.

[trevorwisc]

Could someone please send me a guest pass I would greatly appreciate it.

[Deleted]

Hi dudes!

Could somebody possibly be so kind as to let me have a Diablo lll Guest Pass?

pm me please

[Snigerjohn]

Hey guys.
I'm new here, so i do not quite know anything about the ethics on these forums.

Well.. Due to this hype concerning D3, i'm getting very curious to try it out. I ain't really a gamer, but this could maybe be the 'hook' to it . 1st problem is that i do not really know if my computer can run such game.
Without making this a novel, i guess my question is: could you spare a guest pass if you have an extra?

Thanks.

[jbhumphe]

Hey, I would really appreciate a guest pass. I want to see if the game is going to work on my computer before I go and drop $60 on it.

[bullfroggd]

i'm trying to make sure i can run d3 on my laptop. does anyone have a guest pass left to spare??

thank you! much appreciated

[Deleted]

I would very much like a guest pass for Diablo too, please PM me if you have a spare one.

[Deleted]

Looking for a nice guest pass invite preferably for EU ;P

Please PM me if you have one

[Deleted]

[/COLOR]

i made a lolcat, pass pl0x xD......nah ive been lingering here for a long time, much longer than most peoples here, anyways im still offering to make the generous soul in posession of a pass a nice shiny signature