Girlfriend is upset

[Nanotech]

If she's giving you the silent treatment like this every other week, you need to man up. I work with youngster (not saying you are young) and I've seen this a million times.

What happens is that she "feeds" on the fact that she knows you feel bad and she feels in control by ignoring you. I'm not trying to sound stereotypical, but women are really good at this. If you REALLY did something bad you should always apologize and she should be able to move on (depending on the severity of course). You need to balance the tip of the scale by letting her know that what she does is as unacceptable. Does this make sense?

Even though it's hard, you need to look at this straight forward. If she dumps you for telling her that she act childish, then she'll probably dump you anyway. Your biggest problem is that you're afraid of loosing her (which is understandable), but she needs to know that she crosses the line with her behaviour.

Some might even suggest that you should just ignore her for ignoring you, but that's hardly a solution

At least that my experience.

Good luck

Z.

As a woman I agree with this post pretty much absolutely. To say that ALL women do this is a bit harsh but it also depends on how immature both of you are and how young the relationship is. I can admit I used to be emotionally manipulative this way with my boyfriend some years ago, and in retrospect it was a very childish thing to do. Luckily, the older both of us got and the more the relationship progressed the less it happened and now we've been over these kinds of immature outbursts for maybe 2-3 years completely. So what I'm saying is IF both of you have the strength to pull through and grow up you can have a happy ending, but it requires some personal growth, patience and honesty.

IMO you should be open with her and tell her how her manipulative outbursts make you feel because you care so much about her. If she doesn't care when you're hurting/feeling bad maybe this isn't the person you want to be with.

[Deleted]

Man up Nancy.

Girls don't want a mushy sensitive crying boyfriend.

Honestly they don't.

Have you ever had an actual relationship?

[Luko]

Some women want a sensitive guy with feelings.

Woah now, let's clarify here. The poster you quoted said:

Girls don't want a mushy sensitive crying boyfriend.

A sensitive guy =/= a crybaby. 99.9% of people in general (yay for fictitious percentages!), not just women, do not want someone who hugs his knees and cries when life gets hard, or someone who has to text you 85 times a day when you're out, only to bring up a discussion about how you need to contact them more often to show that you care.

Plenty of people (guys and girls) can be in touch with their own feelings and the feelings of their lover without need to be some socially inept crybaby who treats every speedbump like a breaking bridge. You may not like the way he worded it, but he's accurately correct. The OP does, indeed, need to man up.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Let me ask you this: do you have the slightest idea what love is ?

If she loves him, as he says he loves her, this...whining of yours won't bother her, depending on how it's done. Who the hell, in a relationship, frowns upon honesty ?

Well, I'm engaged to a beautiful, strong, and confident woman, so yes, I'd say I know something on the matter. And she's not the kind to pull this amateur hour bullshit that's in the OP's post.

In a relationship, you don't lost sight of what really matters, and as such, you pick your battles. Bringing up shit again that you've already sat down and talked about is one of the battles you don't take up, because really, there's no reason for it, unless something important went unresolved for some reason. If you did something stupid, and you apologized and moved on with your lives, and a couple weeks later over breakfast you remembered it and felt like a dick, you don't bring it up again. You sit there and feel like a dick, and keep it to yourself. If you remember that time 3 weeks ago where she undercooked the bacon, you keep your mouth shut, because again, there's nothing to be had from bringing it up again, unless you have this amateur hour bullshit of wanting to make her feel bad, so you can have a higher hand in the relationship. If you're a man, however, you can handle a good strong woman without trying to bring her down, and honestly enough it works the other way as well.

So when to be honest and when to curveball the truth, for the OP's benefit:

Example A -
You're both sitting down eating breakfast. As you're munchy wunching on a piece of bacon, she asks what you're thinking about. In your mind, you think about how much better this bacon is than that floppy shit she tried to pass off as proper bacon a couple weeks back. Your choice of responses are -
1.) I was thinking you actually managed to cook this bacon almost right this morning!
2.) I was thinking these eggs are really good today!

In this situation you would pick choice 2. There is a choice 3, but that requires being suave, and is a little too advanced for the OP I fear.

Situation B -

It's 2 AM, and she wakes you up to ask "What are you thinking about?"

Response choices are as follows:

1.) I was just dreaming of you!
2.) I was dreaming of that really hot time I totally nailed you in the car at your cousin's wedding!
3.) I'm thinking I'm going to have a domestic violence charge if you ever wake me up to ask me that again.

In this example you'd choose option number the 3rd, as it's completely honest, in a time where honesty is called for.

Notice the differences people!

[Myrrar]

Not true in the slightest.

It depends on the woman in question.

Some women want your stereotypical thick-headed jock.

Some women want a complete jackass

Some women want a sensitive guy with feelings.

Except all men who aren't sensitive aren't jackasses or thick headed jocks.

There is a big difference between not being afraid to talk about feelings and showing affection and being a weapy clingy mess who cries whenever shit goes wrong and can't handle the adult world. If someone told me he couldn't be sleep without hearing my voice or he cries when we bicker and fight I'd be running far away from him.

No woman wants to take care of a child. Now, the situation in the OP is just childish and when they both hit a certain age they'll look back and just laugh about how silly it was, but in general emotionally unstable isn't attractive.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

There is a big difference between not being afraid to talk about feelings and showing affection and being a weapy clingy mess who cries whenever shit goes wrong and can't handle the adult world.

This is what most don't get.

[Taygete]

I'm glad everything worked out for you...

For future reference though, you're being needy... fishing for reassurance and stuff like that isn't being sensitive, it's being needy. It's EXHAUSTING to deal with. Cut it out before she gets tired of it.

Don't be this guy.

[archelios]

my advice: wear less eye liner, buy some men's jeans, and throw out your fall out boy cd's. Oh, and buy some tampons

[Redmage]

And this is why i don't date women, irrational i tell you!

Hope everything works out for you.

Try and be more confident, find ways to talk about your feelings without sounding like your fishing for validation.

[Deleted]

If there is one thing I've learned, if you say something bad that upsets a girl, chances are she's not going to just forget it, and constantly bringing it up by apologising and such, will only make it worse.

I had just started seeing a girl, and one night I got very drunk and depressed and ending up letting out that I was worried I'd hurt her because I had feelings for one of my best friends, she was obviously upset by it but we talked through it all and continued seeing each other, we got to the point where we were boyfriend/girlfriend and I honestly thought I was falling in love with this girl, my feelings for my other friend had been long gone by this point, but all of sudden she told me that she always feel second best to my best friend and she can't stop thinking about the night I told her I had feelings for her and we broke up.

TL;DR WOMEN NEVER FORGET THE BAD SHIT YOU DO. So don't keep reminding them by constantly apologising and talking about it.

[Raze666]

Dude u so insecure How old are you? Something between 14-19 ? If yes just dumb that bitch u think u in love lol
You gonna be in love like million more times And girl if she figure she has u by just using emotional blacmail u done bro u done
Besides must be something not right with her getting weird about stuff There is plenty girls out there

[In Ogres We Trust]

Honestly, why are you asking strangers for "relationship advice" on a gaming website?

[Ricen]

Honestly, why are you asking strangers for "relationship advice" on a gaming website?

Hence the OFF TOPIC forum, and we are people just as much as we are gamers. Whats better advice then totally un bias advice? Nothing.

[Deleted]

Suffice to say: Women want a kind man who's got a back bone and a heart.

[Deleted]

Honestly, why are you asking strangers for "relationship advice" on a gaming website?

Believe it or not, some gamers aren't total social rejects. Some of them are even nice people. A few of them will actually give good advice.

It wouldn't be the first place I would ask either, but if you're savvy enough to sift through the poor responses there are some genuinely helpful posters out there.

[Puck]

Tickle her.

Suffice to say: Women want a kind man who's got a back bone and a heart.

Generalization.

[mirthen]

Go watch the movie 'Waiting...' and listen to the advice the girls give to the character Calvin. Heed said advice.

[Toomuchsugar]

This was a bit harsh, but not far off the mark.

Girls want a guy to be "sensitive". What this means is they want a guy who can tell when THEY'RE upset, not a guy who GETS upset. "Sensitive" means "when I'm sad will just 'know' and will hold me and tell me it'll be all right".

What you're being is not "sensitive". You're being insecure, because you're freaking out that she might break up with you. You're also being way too clingy; "I just can't sleep without hearing her voice before bed". Clingy is based in insecurity.

You shouldn't be uncaring, but you need to stop worrying if you're man enough for her, and start being man enough. Which sounds stupid and testosterone-fueled, but it's essentially true. If you're worried she's going to leave you, it's going to make her start wondering why you think you're not good enough, and BAM, now she's thinking you're not good enough. It's self-defeating. You're good enough, and you need to be strong enough to get by on your own. Both for you, and for her.

You don't want to be the guy she's with because you need her and will fall to pieces without her. You want to be the guy she's with because you're awesome and she loves being with you.

This ^ is spot on. This goes for both sexes as well. Sometimes my guy will pull away from me emotionally (for reasons beyond his control) and it causes me to act insecure, which is something I really am working on. (Let's be honest here - everyone feels insecure at times - EVERYONE. I think it takes guts to even admit it to ourselves, and that we are vulnerable as humans/partners and to face it head on, and deal with it.) Maybe you can learn something from what I am going thru - so in my case, my man NEEDS space and time, and I tend to want to talk it out and fix things. This causes conflict. I recognize that the more I ask to talk to him about it, the less space I am giving him, and it becomes a double-edge sword... so I need to back off completely and let him deal with what he needs to work out. Something else I am learning, is not everyone needs to talk it out. Matter of fact, I know that it isn't always best to do so anyway.. but it will be awesome to forgive and apologize to each other when both are feeling up to it. Again, in my case, due to our current locations, I can't just go have a chat with him, kiss him and tell him I am sorry in person. This makes giving space more challenging. So, just the other day he was really busy playing D3 (as was I) and I wanted to at least chat with him after he was done playing, but he wasn't in the mood. This caused me to wonder why...I pushed the subject, (and was PMSing) messaged him heaps about it, and then he in turn became understandably upset at me. Worst part, looking back on it, I really don't even know what I was on about.

So all I can do is wait til he cools off and feels better. Sounds like you might need to do the same. No matter what, even if I do act insecure, as I mentioned, the way I see it is I am being honest that I feel like that. It would really hurt me to lose him. Just try to remember they are with you for a reason, so work on NOT FEELING insecure, because you are just as valuable and awesome as she is. She obviously thought you are pretty cool, fun to be around, thinks you are cute, and maybe likes quirky things about you. In my case, relating to you from my own life, I can say that I know I can be heaps of fun to be around (as can my guy) am pretty damn awesome and a great catch (and so is he) and honestly I can be happy with or without him. But that being said, I wanna be happy with him. I think he is amazing, we have something special between us, and most the time we do make each other very happy. :3

Just have to recognize that you are someone who deserves to be happy and act like it! It will reflect in other ways as well.