<Avalerion> Stormrage-EU PvE ranked 323 25man 12h/week from 20:30

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dks please.

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Heroix time!

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Maybe some rogues?

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New Bond film's theme performed by Adele.
A rare example of something beginning when the fat lady sings.

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.

But I laugh more.

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Sadly, because we keep eating the eggs, the Cadbury Creme has now almost become extinct.

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We had a team building competition at work.

And I won!

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"I've got good news and bad news," the doctor told me.

"Alright, I'll have the bad news first then", I replied.

"You have terminal cancer."

What's the good news?"

"The good news is for the other patient."

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Pythagoras walks into a bar muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'

The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'

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Felix Baumgartner has just found the ball from Chris Waddle's penalty in World Cup 1990.

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Picking up a tiny piece of paper off the carpet would probably only take me one second...

But for some reason I'd rather vacuum over it 100 times, at different angles...

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"So, Mr Adams." The lady at the jobcentre said, "After nearly 20 years in full time employment, you just decided to leave. May I ask why?"

"Well," I said, "I opened a Twitter account, and after about a week I decided that my whole career had been a total waste of time. So I left."

"And what was this career?" She asked.

"I was an English teacher."

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Apparently when you spend £5 on a coffee in Costa you get a free mug.

Just stop by the nearest mirror to see it.

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For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

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I've just discovered that someone I worked with about eight years ago likes Hovis. And yet some people still say Facebook's a waste of time?

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According to an article in today's Daily Mail about personal hygiene, most people have detectable amounts of shit on their hands at any given time.

Nonsense, I thought.

Then I realised it was probably true, as I'd just been holding a copy of the Daily Mail.

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Americans: Iran and Iraq are countries, not Apple products, so say their names properly.

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Some OP obliterates required.

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Missing: £500 reward.

If you find it, you get a cat.

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If I get home from work and my wife has cooked dinner, I'll eat my hat.

Instead.