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  1. #1

    funniest joke you know

    ok so heres a thread about jokes.
    whats the funniest joke you know?

    Heres mine.

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”
    The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”
    The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
    The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”

    another funny blonde one..
    What do you call a smart blonde?

    “A Golden Retriever"

    made me laugh.. whats yours?

  2. #2
    I'll have a coke...

  3. #3
    Over 9000! Poppincaps's Avatar
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    Twilight Town
    World of Warcraft...... ZING!

    Please do not post flame bait. - Markluzz

    EDIT: Yeah, that was a joke. I actually love and play WoW, but perhaps I should've been clearer.
    Last edited by Poppincaps; 2012-09-06 at 02:40 AM.

  4. #4
    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?". The horse turns to him and says, "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."
    He is the life of guilds he has never joined.
    He once had a noobish moment- just to see what it felt like.
    If he were to beat you in a duel, you would have to fight the strong urge to thank him.
    The Lunar Elders have a holiday in which they honor him.
    He can speak Darnassian. In Orcish.
    He is: The Most Interesting Man in the World of Warcraft.

  5. #5
    In the first minute of Celebrity Wheel of Fortune last night, Chuck Norris went up to take his turn. It wasn't very entertaining though, as the remainder of the episode consisted of the other 2 contestants stand around awkwardly.... waiting for the wheel to stop.

  6. #6
    The Patient Aloodanis's Avatar
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    In The Mountains
    I Don't know any funny jokes. Last time I tried to tell a joke, it was to a gnome. It totally went over his head. *ba dum tish*

  7. #7
    Field Marshal
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    All in the signature :P
    Duck walks into a bar, says to the bartender, "Got any grapes?" Bartender says no, duck says "Got any grapes?" "No" "Got any grapes?" "NO!" "Got any--" "If you say got any grapes one more time I'm going to nail your bill to the wall..." "Got a nail?" "No." "Got any grapes?"

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket Surgeon View Post
    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?". The horse turns to him and says, "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."
    LOL that one is funny..

  9. #9
    Bloodsail Admiral Omertocracy's Avatar
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    Me to a random coworker, every day: "Hey wanna hear a funny joke?" No matter what their response I always answer: "Our pay! Ahahahahahahaha oh we are so poor."

  10. #10

  11. #11
    Stood in the Fire strangebreed's Avatar
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    3 men walk into a bar. one ducks why? i use to tell that one all the time when i was kid and its the only one i can remember in full length lol well except worse ones...
    I'd torture a thousand souls just to see her smile.

  12. #12
    I don't know if this one is known or not, or if it's funny in English or not but here it goes.

    There are two man facing each other, one turns the other way(turns, not walks away) and the other doesn't. :b

    I always think it's funny when I think about this loool

  13. #13
    Stood in the Fire Paq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike-N-Ike View Post
    All in the signature :P
    I hate the fckin song

  14. #14
    What's the difference between a fridge and a homosexual?

    The fridge doesn't fart when you take the sausage out...

  15. #15
    I heard this when I was in the 7th grade, and still laugh when I think about it.

    Three explorers were out studying the Safari with their pet monkey. They decided, as an experiment, to put a cork in an elephant's butt. Over the course of the days, the elephant grew larger and larger. Next thing they know, the three men were in Heaven. They asked each other, "how'd you die?" The first said, "I died of the smell." The second said, "I died of the taste." The third man said, "I died laughing watching the monkey trying to put the cork back in."

  16. #16
    2 Guys at a bar:
    - You ever screw your wife in the ... other hole?
    - Of course not stupid, she'll get pregnant.

  17. #17
    A newspaper reporter went into a mountain village to ask the people living there about their lives and stuff.
    Reporter: Can you tell me what you consider to be a good day in here? What do you do then?
    Villager: Well this one time my goat got lost in the mountains, everyone went looking for it and when we found it we did a ceremony in which we had sexual intercourse with it several times.
    Reporter: Well, that's strange.. Can you tell me about your best day ever than? What was it?
    Villager: A few months back my friend's wife got lost in the mountains, we all went looking for it and when we found it we did the ceremony again, I really enjoyed that!
    Reporter: Ok.. What about your worst day? What was it?
    Villager: I once got lost in the mountains...

  18. #18
    Man walks into a bar and orders a drink when he notices a jar filled to the brim with £20 notes. He asks the barman..

    "Whats that jar for?" to which the Barman replies "It's the barmans challenge, but you wouldn't be interested" so the man shrugs and keeps on drinking.

    A couple hours later, the man is now pissed off his tits and he decides to ask about the challenge.

    "Basically, you stick a 20 in the jar and then have to complete 3 tasks, finish 'em, and you keep the jar. The first - You see that old guy in the corner? Ex Army. You gotta knock him out. The Second - We got this mangy old rottweiler out back with a dodgy tooth, you gotta pull it out. The Third - My Aunt lives upstairs, she hasn't been 'Satisfied' for years, you gotta give her the 'time of her life'.

    "Sure, lets do it".

    He proceeds to put a 20 in the Jar before walking over to the old bloke, and knocks him out cold with a single punch. He turns to the backdoor, heads out and closes the door behind him. Everyone in the bar can hear screams, grunts and yelps coming from outside, this continues for a few minutes until the man returns covered in sweat and blood before asking "So, wheres this aunt with the bad tooth?"

  19. #19
    Okay so three guys die in a car crash and go to heaven. Before they can enter heaven however they have to answer one question from god. The question is how many times have you cheated on your girlfriend/wife? The first guy anwers: quite a lot of times, around 30 times I think. God says: ok, you may enter and you get this brand new volvo to drive around in heaven. The second guy answers: 7-8 times. To that god replies: Ok, you may enter and you get this brand new mercedes to drive around in heaven. The last guy anwers 'none, I have never cheated on my wife' and god gives him a brand new ferrari to drive around in heaven.

    So the three guys spend their time in heaven driving their brand new cars when suddenly the first two guys, with the volvo and mercedes, see the third guy slowly stop and get out of his ferrari to cry. The first two guys approach the third guys and ask: What's the matter? Why are you crying? Don't you like your new car? To that the third guy answers: No it's not that, I just saw my wife on a bicycle.

  20. #20
    This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender says "Down the hallway, first door on your left". The guy thanks him and goes to the bathroom.
    A few minutes later, a 2nd guy walks into the bar and asks for the bathroom. Bartender says "down the hall, first door on your left but there is already somebody in there.." so the guy says "That's fine" and heads to the bathroom.
    A couple more minutes and a 3rd guy walks in and asks for the bathroom as well. Bartender says "down the hall, first door on your left, but there's already TWO people in there..." so the guy says, "That's fine" and goes to the bathroom.

    An hour passes and finally the first guy comes out. The bartender says, "Wow, you spent a long time in there, what were you doing?" and the guy replies "Blowing bubbles" and walks out.
    After a few more minutes, the second guy walks out. The bartender asks what took him so long and he replies "I was blowing bubbles." and walks out.
    Finally, the last guy walks out of the bathroom. The bartender says, "Let me guess, you were blowing bubbles?". The guy replies, "No, I AM Bubbles".


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