Just been to the Dentist who asked me if I'd licked any Pussy recently...I said why? is there pubic hair in my teeth?...No he said, you've got Shit on your nose...
Fixed :P
Last edited by mmoc8d9a66b0a0; 2012-09-13 at 10:52 PM.
3 para olympians have been have been banned from the games already they tested positive for a brand substance... wd-40
My wife came down from having a shower and said with a wink...ive just shaved my pussy do you know what that means?....yes i replied the fucking plughole is blocked.
I see Mark Zuckerberg Facebook founder has got married to Priscilla Chan....It's nice to know that despite having billions in the bank he still shops online.
I have lots more but they are very very crude and harsh....I don't want a ban :P
Last edited by mmoc8d9a66b0a0; 2012-09-13 at 10:57 PM.
What's brown and sticky? - A stick!
What's the difference between Princess Di and Tiger Woods? - Tiger has a better driver.
Overheard today about the show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
"Every time my girlfriend turns that show on, the metal plate in my head shifts and my legs give out."
I spit out my soda and couldn't stop laughing
Following the unloading of the cattle in stockyard, this cowboy headed to a restaurant for dinner. The only seat was next to a lady who looked wealthy and educated. He couldn’t help overhearing her order.
“I’ll have a breast of fowl, virgin fowl, make sure it’s a virgin, catch it yourself, garnish my plate with onions, a cup of coffee, not too hot, not too cold, and waiter, open the windows, I smell a horse, there must be a cowboy in here.”
Thoroughly pissed off, the cowboy placed his order.
“I’ll have a duck, a fu**ed duck, make sure it’s fu**ed, f**k it yourself if you have to, garnish my plate with horse shit, a cup of coffee, strong as mule piss, blow the foam off with a fart, and waiter, kick down the wall, I smell a c**t, there must be a whore in the house.
*What's the difference between you and a line? The line is straight*
Friend of mine tells me that one on a daily basis, often 3-24 times in a row. It's that funny apparently.
whisper*mumble*whisper* HER VAGINA WAS IN THE SINK AHAHAHHA
i live by one motto! "lolwut?"
So a guy comes into a bar... no wait, it was a horse. So a guy comes into a horse ^^
knock knock
who's there
...............
What's the difference between a tribe of intelligent pygmies and a women's track team? One's a group of cunning runts...
A blonde and a brunette were walking along the road when they came to a set of tracks. The blonde said, "These are deer tracks!" the brunette replied, "No silly, they're moose tracks!" They were still arguing when the train hit them.
how does moses take his tea?
hebrews it.
This thread is so damn bad ....why reply with some stupid comment and no joke...you think you are cute but everyone else thinks your just lame .
How do you fit an elephant onto a Safeway bag ?
You take the S out of safe and the F out of way
get it ?
Please do not harass people. - Markluzz
Last edited by Markluzz; 2012-09-16 at 10:32 PM.
I love more dark and morbid jokes, so here's one.
“I’ve got a long history of suicide in my family. The good news is it skips a generation. So, if I’m lucky, my kids will kill themselves.”
come on guys we need more jokes.. =)
2 blondes walking through the park, one of them says, oh look a dead bird. Other one looks up and says, where?
Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a park bench? The bench can support a family.