Page 11 of 19 FirstFirst ...
9
10
11
12
13
... LastLast
  1. #201
    My brother told me this one and I'm pretty appalled that I laughed.

    A man and a young boy are walking into the woods, night starts to fall and the boy says, "Man, these woods are pretty spooky at night." The man replies, "you're telling me, I have to walk home alone."

  2. #202
    Why was the scarecrow awarded a promotion at work?
    It was because he was outstanding in his field :P

  3. #203
    I am Murloc! -Zait-'s Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    ♫ ♪ d(Θ.Θ)b ♪ ♫
    Posts
    5,490
    I know a lot... but I feel I'd get banned for saying them (x



  4. #204

  5. #205
    Deleted
    A cop was staking out the Geelong Hotel for bikers riding drunk.
    At closing time, he sees a biker stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
    When he finally gets on the bike, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition.
    Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and rides off.
    When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test.
    The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0!
    The cop says, "How is this possible?"
    The guy laughs and says, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

  6. #206
    Quote Originally Posted by Scahrossar View Post
    Why was the scarecrow awarded a promotion at work?
    It was because he was outstanding in his field :P
    I don't know why, but I found that hilarious. You deserve a cookie.



  7. #207
    Quote Originally Posted by -Zait- View Post
    I know a lot... but I feel I'd get banned for saying them (x
    Have you not read this thread.

  8. #208
    This one is based on a funny joke. Enjoy.


  9. #209
    Warchief Sand Person's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Tatooine (Outside Mos Eisley)
    Posts
    2,011
    Quote Originally Posted by nzall View Post
    Why is Princess Diana like a Ferrerro Rocher?
    Because they both came out of France in a box.
    fricken brutal! still chuckled though.

  10. #210
    Warchief Mukki's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    ANC! ANC! ANC!
    Posts
    2,090
    Quote Originally Posted by nzall View Post
    look, I don't mind the sexist/depraved/raw jokes. I frequently visit some of the most degrading and sexist subreddits. however, there are young children on here, since WoW is rated T for teen. and I don't think young children need to come into contact with stuff like this.
    I think that's the moderators' call to make, not yours.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-17 at 01:25 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishbait View Post
    After being crucified, Jesus went up to Heaven & was chatting to St.Peter at the pearly gates.
    After a while, St.Peter said "I`ve been here for 560 years, mind covering whilst I go for a break?"
    "Of course not, what do I do?" said Jesus.
    "It`s easy said St.Peter, just take the persons name, religion & occupation."
    After showing Jesus what to do, St.Peter leaves.

    After an hour or so, Jesus in the swing of things looks up & says "Name please.", just as he does this, he sees the old man walk forward & is sure he knows him.

    "Ah, I`m Joseph." said thee old man.
    "Okay Joseph, what`s your religion?"
    "That`s easy," replied Joseph "I`m a Jew."

    Jesus looks at him again & is sure this is his father, so he asks him "What was your profession?"
    "I was a long time carpenter" said joseph.
    That does it thought Jesus, this must be my father, I`ll ask him something personal.

    "Joseph, did you have any kids?"
    "Oh yes," he replied "I had a wonderful son.".

    "Your son, did he have any distinguishing marks on his body?" asked Jesus.
    "Why yes he did, the poor lad, he had holes in his hands & his feet" replied Joseph.

    To this, Jesus was sure that this old man was his father so he threw out his arms & yelled "Father!" to which the old man replied "Pinocchio!?"
    Not to be a buzzkill, but St. Peter was an early Christian leader, kinda ruins the premise of the entire joke, since there's no way he could possibly be up there before Jesus was crucified.

  11. #211
    Why do ducks have webbed feet?
    To stamp out fires.
    Why do elephants have flat feet?
    To stamp out burning ducks

  12. #212
    Brewmaster xindykawai's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Lost in the twisting nether
    Posts
    1,491
    2 butt cheek chatting:

    -why dont we become friend ?
    -Because between us its shit.

  13. #213
    What did the white guy say to the afro american?
    Can I afro you for dinner?

    omg I laugh every time I hear it.

  14. #214
    A woman who was single and not happy about it, pops into the grocery store to get a couple of items. She gets things like one roll of toilet paper, a single frozen dinner, etc.

    The guy cashier is scanning all these single items, and looks up and says, "You know, i bet you're single."

    The woman not thrilled and with all the sarcasm she could muster responds, "Gee, how did you figure that out."

    'Easy", he says, "You're fucking ugly."
    "When Facism comes to America, it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross." - Unknown

  15. #215
    The Lightbringer Toffie's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Denmark
    Posts
    3,858
    Quote Originally Posted by Scarjack View Post
    A woman who was single and not happy about it, pops into the grocery store to get a couple of items. She gets things like one roll of toilet paper, a single frozen dinner, etc.

    The guy cashier is scanning all these single items, and looks up and says, "You know, i bet you're single."

    The woman not thrilled and with all the sarcasm she could muster responds, "Gee, how did you figure that out."

    'Easy", he says, "You're fucking ugly."
    Haha, only joke i laughed hard too. /share cookie

  16. #216
    Mechagnome LolretKJ's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    683
    Quote Originally Posted by Scarjack View Post
    A woman who was single and not happy about it, pops into the grocery store to get a couple of items. She gets things like one roll of toilet paper, a single frozen dinner, etc.

    The guy cashier is scanning all these single items, and looks up and says, "You know, i bet you're single."

    The woman not thrilled and with all the sarcasm she could muster responds, "Gee, how did you figure that out."

    'Easy", he says, "You're fucking ugly."
    Many lol's were had.
    Quote Originally Posted by Proberly View Post
    Oh would you now? It truly is amazing how many heroic people we have wasting their time on internet.

  17. #217
    The Unstoppable Force Belize's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Gen-OT College of Shitposting
    Posts
    21,922
    A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family/

  18. #218
    A priest, a pastor and a rabbi met after a seminar and got to talking about how they handled the proceeds from the collections at their services. The priest said: "Well, I have a simple process really, I take the money outside into the garden, draw a circle in the dirt and throw all the monies received in the air. What lands in the circle goes directly towards the Lord's work, and whatever lands outside it I use for my own costs of living." "That is funny", said the pastor, "I have quite a similar process, only I draw a line in chalk on the floor of my study and what fall to the right is for God's work and what falls to the left is for me". The rabbi smiled at them both and said: "Needlessly complicated. I throw the proceeds of my collections in the air, and He's welcome to whatever He can grab!"

  19. #219
    Quote Originally Posted by Belize View Post
    A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family/
    For whatever reason I couldn't stop laughing at this one.

  20. #220
    Quote Originally Posted by Scarjack View Post
    A woman who was single and not happy about it, pops into the grocery store to get a couple of items. She gets things like one roll of toilet paper, a single frozen dinner, etc.

    The guy cashier is scanning all these single items, and looks up and says, "You know, i bet you're single."

    The woman not thrilled and with all the sarcasm she could muster responds, "Gee, how did you figure that out."

    'Easy", he says, "You're fucking ugly."
    Lol. It was funny but it could have been better if the items were chosen more carefully. Like, a single roll of toilet paper doesn't indicate you're single, it means you're stupid for not buying in bulk. Frozen TV dinner was okay. I'd throw in maybe a woman's magazine or like. Wine and one glass, or something. Just my thoughts.

    Meh I really want to post some racist jokes but I'd get infracted! So I can't contribute.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •