Dear MMO-C,
I have a dilemma.
For the past year, I have been in a typical, exclusive relationship. The person I'm dating is smart, attractive, and good company, but I have my doubts about the long term potential. Why? Because I think monogamy doesn't work for most people.
In six months I will have to make a big decision as I think about going to graduate school. This decision will involve moving across the country (and presumably dragging my girlfriend along). But what is giving me pause in my current relationship is that I will be surrounded by many attractive options when it comes to the dating scene. There are going to be tons of smart, attractive, exotic, interesting, etc. etc. single women.
The main problem is that monogamy asks you to make a unique sort of decision. The problem with the decision is not so much "do I want to date X" but "do I want to not date all of non-X." That is a HUGE decision to make, and given innate human tendencies, I do not think it is rational or practical.
This is tough for me, because I care about my girlfriend and I think highly of her, but at the same time I believe the relationship will become stale and I will regret my decision to get her involved in a cross-country move, just for me to decide I'd rather have new options.
I realize that if I keep this attitude, I will likely never find a life partner -- or if I do, it will have to be some sort of open-minded or polyamorous situation. I'm willing to entertain those ideas, but I wanted to hear your thoughts (pro-monogamy or not) on the issue.