Laughing at other Men's pain

[Deleted]

I'm sorry, I am in stitches here. A friend told me to read the Amazon Product reviews for Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml. It is the funniest thing i have read in ages.

Features such classics as:-

All well and good. Then I hit the shower, it was like a vindaloo had been poured between my arse cheeks, while I was getting a severe wedgie. To say it was agony is an understatement, I was howling. Even today (4 days after the event) I can't walk properly or sit on my bike.

Trying to find the words to describe it is difficult but imagine, if you can, having your scrotum industrially sandblasted from a distance of about a foot with broken glass mixed with acid and salt.

On the positive side i can report the following unexpected benefits:
- My pain threshold has almost trebled
- I can now pass urine in 3 positions: standing, sitting and curled in a ball weeping.

Read them for yourself http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...owViewpoints=1

[Talokami]

Good lord it's in giant caps on the can NOT TO USE IT ON YOUR JUNK! The ladies' Veet does the same.

[Darsithis]

I used that stuff once on my chest and took off the skin over one of my nipples. Let me tell you, I couldn't wear a shirt for days

[Kuthe]

Just got introuble at work for laughing out loud at some of those reviews.
Damn they are funny.

[Deleted]

I used that stuff once on my chest and took off the skin over one of my nipples. Let me tell you, I couldn't wear a shirt for days

dont give me ideas man :P

cant wait till i force my brother to do this lol

[Deleted]

«This toothpaste tastes funny. As for the other reviewers, I'm surprised at them. I learned as a teenager to never try rubbing the colgate down there.»
omg. I'm laughing so hard.

[Calamari]

I don't understand why you'd go out of your way to buy expensive hair removal cremes, sounds like you could get the exact same results with by shaving with an ordinary lawn mower.

[Muzz]

I haven't laughed so hard in ages, thank you OP. I needed that.

[Evil Inside]

Hahaha that is awesome, thanks OP.

[Sylar Hao]

My stomach aches for so much laughing X___D amazing.

[Remilia]

I shall get some. IT SHALL BE GLORIOUS. MAUHHAHAHAHAHA I mean.. lawl. >.>

[Deleted]

I shall get some. IT SHALL BE GLORIOUS.

What we need is a real man to test this authenticity. I would, but I faint when I get a paper cut

[Deleted]

It sure is easy to laugh at other people's pain when they tell about their predicament in such a funny way.

[Deleted]

Personally I've been stupid enough to try that on my junk, and oh-my-god. I'd rather ingest chili anally before using that again.

[Holtzmann]

Page 1 was very entertaining. From then on the joke got old quickly. On the other hand, I had never before seen such an amount of anatomical euphemisms in my life. I feel linguistically enlightened by the experience.

[Shmeh]

Best review ever.

Product review: Axe Shock shower gel
This stuff:




After years of fighting the good fight and refusing to use any sort of that faggoty shower poof/shower gel combination crap, I finally caved. OK, that's not true. I'm a lazy bastard who HATES to go shopping. Because of this, I just use whatever my THFMW buys. In the past that has consisted of whatever kind of shower gel stuff she wanted, or whatever was on sale. Normally it's some kind of fruit/flower/vegetable scented crap that falls into the "pussywhipped" scent category. Basically, when you walk past a dude, and he smells like a combination of flowers, fruits, grasses and shame, and you think to yourself "man, that guy's been using his wife's shower gel, he's pussywhipped"...that's the scent I'm talking about.

Anyway, a while back THFMW was shopping and found some Axe shower gel on sale and bought it for me because she's fucking awesome and I don't deserve her. (I put that in here because it's not only true, but just in case she lurks here, I'll get brownie points. In our household, if I build up enough brownie points, I get brownies! )The bottle says Axe Shock and I do have to admit, they pretty much fuckin' nailed the name, although I think Jumanji would also be fitting. It looks innocent enough, but when you open it, all hell breaks loose.

The scent can only be described as a combination of Vick's VapoRub, alcohol (the rubbing kind, not the drinking kind) and maybe a slight tinge of turpentine. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I decided to use it anyway. Bad idea! It's not really all that bad when applied to the face, neck, chest, belly and leg regions, at least not once your smell receptors go numb and you can't smell it anymore. On the plus side, the menthol smell does clear out your nasal passages, in case you have a cold. Now it gets ugly. When you get to the "nether" regions, things take a turn for the worst. I'm not sure which one of the volatile ingredients is directly to blame, or if it's a combination of them all, but this stuff should definitely come with a bright orange "WARNING: DO NOT APPLY TO YOUR COCKNBALLS" sticker attacked to the front of the bottle.

Imagine this. Your dick and his two nutty friends are arrested (I don't know if they are guilty or not, I'm not here to judge) and taken into imaginary miniature police custody. I'm not saying that they're miniatures, don't get pissed at me just because you have issues with your size, but the cops that arrested them would have to be. I mean, why would regular sized cops arrest a wiener and nuts, that's just silly. While being escorted down the hall, they decide to break free. One well placed "head" butt later, they're on the run. Unfortunately, they're outnumbered, and are quickly tackled, sprayed with pepper spray, then tasered by multiple little cops with tiny stun guns. Now, imagine the discomfort those poor guys are going through, and imagine that same discomfort being attached to your body in a place that is normally reserved for fun stuff. That's how this shit feels. It's not so much of a tingling sensation as it is a "Wow, this kinda burns and feels cold at the same time as making my junk numb, but not in a good way" feeling. I guess you could say it's kinda like a brand new landfill...it's not the most tragic thing in the World, but it's not something you want happening in your own front yard.

Thinking it may have just been a fluke, and that maybe my boys were just being little whiny bitches that day, I decided to use it again the following day, with pretty much the same results. I convinced myself that more testing needed to be done, and decided that it really needed to be tested on another test subject. This is where my THFMW comes back into the picture. I tried on several occasions to convince her to test the product, strictly for scientific reasons of course, but apparently "Hey this stuff makes my nuts burn, can I put it on your vag to see what happens" isn't as convincing to her as it seemed in my head. Coincidentally, I'm no longer allowed in the bathroom when she's taking a shower, which really sucks because she's fawking hot and being knocked up is making her boobs bigger. So, long story short, if you see this shit in the store, even if it's on sale or free, just keep right on walking. Or pick up a bottle and keep it on your night stand in case your nose gets clogged at night, or in case a burglar breaks in and you need to temporarily blind him.

Oh, and don't bother buying one of the Axe body sponges, or shower poofs, or whatever the fuck they call them. It just so happens that the bottle of Axe Jumanji that my THFMW bought came with one. Those things are harder than Satan's dick and will remove any skin that is not firmly attached to your body. They're probably awesome for wet sanding a car or something, but sandpaper is cheaper.

[Powerogue]

warning: do not use on knob or bollocks!

A warning clearly heeded by few.

[Kalyyn]

Oh god, I think I'm dying... I literally cannot breath and laugh this hard at the same time...

[Kivana]

You bastard, after reading those comments i now have a half wet desk from spat out coffee and a sore belly from laughing so hard. totally worth it though

[Asphyxiate9]

Don't think ive laughed that hard for a very long time. Thanks!