Are you a Forever Alone ?

[Grizzly Willy]

My self esteem is far too low for me to pursue a relationship at this time, and I don't see that changing any time soon. In the interim I am quite content with being alone.

That's not to say I don't wish for a relationship. There have been plenty of opportunities where I could have tried, but I assume rejection and don't bother. Oh well.

[Deleted]

I'd like more friends, no matter if they're girls or guys, but I don't feel like ever getting a girlfriend. Everyone I know only says bad things about their wife/gf/spouse whatever.
I'll be the smart one and decide I want to be happy, rather than annoyed 50% of the day because of one person.

[Soxxy]

I'd like more friends, no matter if they're girls or guys, but I don't feel like ever getting a girlfriend. Everyone I know only says bad things about their wife/gf/spouse whatever.
I'll be the smart one and decide I want to be happy, rather than annoyed 50% of the day because of one person.

If somebody actually does your head in that much, you could just dump them. :P

[Deleted]

If somebody actually does your head in that much, you could just dump them. :P

Well, I don't like hurting people either. It's easier for me just to stay away Even if they wouldn't be hurt, it'd be a waste of time.

[Soxxy]

Well, I don't like hurting people either. It's easier for me just to stay away Even if they wouldn't be hurt, it'd be a waste of time.

You never know if you never try! :P

*giving advice I've never once followed* -_-'

[Spectral]

I do naturally think someone who is fit, works out, and is physically strong would do a better job defending me than the tech-guy who doesn't attend the gym, but still manages to keep a healthy lifestyle.

What in the world are you doing that you need someone to defend you? I'm a bit confused by this. Avoiding physical confrontation is pretty easy.

---------- Post added 2012-09-15 at 09:25 PM ----------

Yes, we've all established that looks are a priority for you. Thankfully, not all women think the same way - a good sense of humour and self confidence are fantastic qualities to have and certainly make up a part of the package that makes a person attractive.

There's absolutely nothing that can make up for someone being unattractive, for me. Looks are the starting point, and I'll go from there.

---------- Post added 2012-09-15 at 09:26 PM ----------

TLDR; Is sex/one night stands possibly clouding society's head and preventing good, long, relationships?

No. There's no evidence at all that waiting to have sex improves people's happiness in relationships, or their success in relationships.

[Kerath]

My fella and I have been together for five years. He was single for seven years before that.
I do see a lot of very unhappy people in relationships, so believe me when I say it's not the be-all-end-all for everyone. I think I'm the only person I know that doesn't complain about their spouse.
Anyway - I took a risk, had some good luck and have reaped the rewards. Taking the risk is the first step though.

[Deleted]

Damn it, I was somewhat wasted, in a club, there was this girl.

I did talk to her but I didn't do enough to really get her attention.

Oh well, at least I have food now, my hunger was off the charts.

[xxf2dxx]

No. There's no evidence at all that waiting to have sex improves people's happiness in relationships, or their success in relationships.

I faintly remember seeing something that stated the more casual sex partners a woman has the less likely she is to be in a successful relationship. Not really sure where or if it was more than just a picture. Maybe someone else can confirm that.

[Vizardlorde]

Im hopeless, I wish there was a girl who'd like me for who I am, with acceptable looks and personality, but I ask for too much and offer too little so its just wishful thinking.

[Letmesleep]

No. There's no evidence at all that waiting to have sex improves people's happiness in relationships, or their success in relationships.

I actually thought about this. This is not what I previously thought, but I decided to take you up on that claim, not just because it challenged you but because it challenged me. I looked up both sides and was able to find a study claiming the opposite of what you said, but none supporting your claim. I felt like the study I found was from biased source, so I figured I'd try to find something else. If you have something to back up your claim I'll gladly take a look. I'll link what I found later because my uncle is in town and my folks want me to come see him. I'll be back later.

[Muoteck]

Let's see...
- Enjoying being alone
- Not enjoying being with people
- No RL friends - lost contact with high school / university ones and I feel no need or desire to contact them or make new ones
- No GF - had one over 6 years ago an not really sure whether I should bother trying again or not

Forever alone... I guess?

[OneSent]

TLDR; Is sex/one night stands possibly clouding society's head and preventing good, long, relationships?

That's a good question, to which I would answer: yes.

Back in the day of our grandparents, communities were smaller and the people within them were much closer. Because of that, the selection of potential partners was also much smaller and you most likely met your special someone just walking down the street or by word of mouth from a family member or friend. Based on what I've been told by my own grandparents, most of them met at a young age, usually through school or soon after, and they married young and stayed together until death.

But nowadays, we live in a world where you could be talking to someone from the U.S, London, Tokyo and Australia all at the same time while seeing their actual faces on a tiny cellphone screen. The spectrum of options to chose from has never been so broad in the history of our species and I think people have a hard time coping with the idea of being with one person for the rest of their life. Especially when they look at all the other options before them and think "well, what if I change my mind later?"

We have a lot of idle time nowadays to think about such things and obsess on the "what ifs". Instead of finding a good thing and sticking with it, I think many young people today try to dabble in a little of everything to see what they like best. Because if one thing fails, there is plenty more to choose from.

The worst part is, that they never learn how to be committed to a relationship long-term, and by the time they've gone through with the sampling, they no longer know what they want either. So it simply becomes a lifelong practice of short-term relationships that change as often as the seasons.

It's a sad thing to be sure, but I fear it is only going to continue in that direction as long as we have such easy and direct access to other people at any time, from anywhere in the world.

EDIT: Just wanted to add, that I also think the pressure we have from society to be with someone by a certain age sometimes forces us into relationships prematurely, instead of waiting for someone worthwhile to come along. The result will often be unhappy couples that do not last long.

Hence the point of this thread; the OP says he is fine with being single and that it is something that he "has made peace with", or in other words, acknowledges the fact that his choice is not a very popular one, despite him being happy with it.

[Bullettime]

Sometimes I really think so. Try to stay "hopeful" but after a extremely nasty breakup (was engaged as well...) it's hard. I used to be pretty confident in myself but now I'm pretty much a nervous wreck and socially awkward when it comes to the opposite sex, like all of my confidence and esteem has been completely thrown in the trash.

Apparently it's not looks because I get comments about it a lot, despite my "scarier" appearance (live in a more rural community.) I meet a lot of people through my job and at concerts and what not, get numbers, etc but I'm just always so awkward about following through. If I even do at all, I end up stumbling over my words like a middle school kid talking to a girl for the first time and end up completely blowing it.

[Osyrus]

well I hope to find someone that is a match for me someday.

currently i really care for someone who's ex still lives with him. yup im a dumbass, go for unavailable guys thats my goal. the only good part is that he does like me so maybe someday just doesnt want to start something for obvious reasons and i agree. ill just keep moving along with my life even though i want him and maybe ill get lucky. if not maybe it will be someone else.

[Nathiest]

Forever alone.

Ok.. perhaps in my 40's I can lure some 18 year old father attention seeking hopeless romantic desperate girl into a 4 month long relationship. Maybe I can score up a few of those between the age of 40 and 55. At less that will be something.

[Galloways]

Yup, I'm too ugly to ever be loved.

You do realize that society's view on "beauty" is all screwed up, right? Most pictures that depict "the 'perfect' body" are completely photoshopped.

[Markluzz]

Technically but it's mainly on my own choice because I am stuck in a friend zone and refuse to move on.

[nachoo]

Yes, i really like this girl and cannot get over her. Its not that she wont date me its that she now goes to a school in a different state i should probably move on but shes not like the others :P (at least to me) trying my best to move on though.

[Spectral]

I actually thought about this. This is not what I previously thought, but I decided to take you up on that claim, not just because it challenged you but because it challenged me. I looked up both sides and was able to find a study claiming the opposite of what you said, but none supporting your claim. I felt like the study I found was from biased source, so I figured I'd try to find something else. If you have something to back up your claim I'll gladly take a look. I'll link what I found later because my uncle is in town and my folks want me to come see him. I'll be back later.

I stated that there's not evidence because I don't think there's any sound evidence; this does not imply that I think there's contrary evidence, just that the claim that casual sex makes for bad relationships isn't supported by actual data. I've seen claims that are thinly supported by correlative data, but nothing remotely causative.

---------- Post added 2012-09-16 at 12:34 AM ----------

Technically but it's mainly on my own choice because I am stuck in a friend zone and refuse to move on.

There's no such thing as the "friend zone". Someone may well have no romantic interest in you, but it's not because you're her friend.