Poll: Are you forever alone ?

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  1. #821
    I thought I would be. I was never on a date before her. I was afraid to spend time with groups of people. I was afraid to even ask someone out. I could talk to females strictly on a friend basis, but could never ask someone out. I had set myself up to be alone/virgin for the rest of my life.

    Then I found the woman who 10.5 years recently became my wife (less then a month ago). To make things even better she asked me out (a couple of times, since I was too stupid to realize I was being asked out). We finally went out on a date and things have been great since.

    The moral of the story is don't give up hope. I had set myself up for failure but I was lucky. Most people when they do that to them-self are no as lucky as I was.

  2. #822
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    Nope! Going to Homecoming this weekend, with a really good friend (whom i see turning into a long lasting partner) So I think im set, though I shouldn't get over-confident
    Duck walks into a bar, says to the bartender, "Got any grapes?" Bartender says no, duck says "Got any grapes?" "No" "Got any grapes?" "NO!" "Got any--" "If you say got any grapes one more time I'm going to nail your bill to the wall..." "Got a nail?" "No." "Got any grapes?"

  3. #823
    i would prob say yes

    im pretty much worthless and not worthwhile

  4. #824
    Bloodsail Admiral DownButStillOut's Avatar
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    As long as I has the preciouses, We shall never be alones, yess yessss.
    BeeeeeeeoooooOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOO-FFFSSSHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
    My attempt at being less of a pessimist was choosing Dawnbringer as my choice of server.
    I regret somethings! (like setting this in my signature)

  5. #825
    Old God endersblade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiili View Post
    You're not ugly. :<

    OnT: In a relationship already.
    I think this can sum up the response for 99% of any woman who ever says an 'ugly' guy isn't ugly. (By that I mean any guy who thinks their ugly.)

    "I'm ugly."
    "No you're not, you're adorable!"
    "Wanna go out?"
    "Sorry, I have a bf."
    /facepalm
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    Politicians put their hand on the BIBLE and swore to uphold the CONSTITUTION. They did not put their hand on the CONSTITUTION and swear to uphold the BIBLE.
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    Except maybe Morgan Freeman. That man could convince God to be an atheist with that voice of his . . .
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    If your girlfriend is a girl and you're a guy, your kid is destined to be some sort of half girl/half guy abomination.

  6. #826
    Quote Originally Posted by Divineknight13 View Post
    i would prob say yes

    im pretty much worthless and not worthwhile
    I'd wager within no more than 10 years, at least the majority of people who say they will be forever alone in this thread will be in a relationship, or will have been in one or likely more.

  7. #827
    Quote Originally Posted by Gamdwelf View Post
    have both, still ugly.
    this ugly guy has a fiance
    http://imgur.com/k7V8F
    three years they've been together
    if he can do it you can
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    “Oh, do a daily? Just do a daily? Why don’t I strap on my daily helmet and squeeze down into a daily cannon and fire off into daily land, where quests grow on little dailies?!”

  8. #828
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tuskcat View Post
    this ugly guy has a fiance
    http://imgur.com/k7V8F
    three years they've been together
    if he can do it you can
    He's not that ugly IMO. But then even when remarking on a fellow male i have odd concepts.

  9. #829
    Quote Originally Posted by SylvanaSlave View Post
    You do not seem to be able to swallow the simple possibility that different people have different ways of dealing with things and depending on who they are will take longer than others. Implying that I am being unreasonable simply because I am disagreeing with you only smacks of arrogance, as does the assumption that more people agreeing with you than me suggests that you are 'right'. To me, you are coming across as blinkered and narrow-minded. I have been explaining that every breakup case is different and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. There are many extraneous elements that affect how a person handles it at the time and also how it affects him or her in the long term, such as mental health (which applies to me), fear of repeat experiences, family problems, and many others. For god knows what reason, you and others cannot digest this. I would love to know why, because at the end of the day, there is no right or wrong way to deal with breakups.
    its kind of like seeing little kids screaming & wailing because they lost their balloon. to them its the most painful thing theyve ever experienced, but it seems awfully silly to you. all of us have lost balloons, but some of us know its not the end of the world. but its something you must discover in your own time.

  10. #830
    Relationship? Never again. "Don't smoke pot, don't go out, don't play games blablablablah!". Then again, all I need is duct tape.

  11. #831
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    Quote Originally Posted by darenyon View Post
    its kind of like seeing little kids screaming & wailing because they lost their balloon. to them its the most painful thing theyve ever experienced, but it seems awfully silly to you. all of us have lost balloons, but some of us know its not the end of the world. but its something you must discover in your own time.
    I respect the analogy and see where you are coming from but it implies that those among us who are taking longer than others to get over a breakup are making a big deal over nothing. Like I have said before, everybody has their own way of dealing with a breakup in their own time, and nobody has the right to reserve judgement over that person to tell them they are doing it wrong or are taking too long, or whatever. I'm not saying you are saying that, I am just clarifying my standpoint on this matter (again).

    I have never said, with respect to myself, that I have not got over my last breakup. What I am saying is that it has made me extremely wary of getting into future relationships in case it puts me through that emotional hell all over again, and it would seem this is what Vizardlorde has been saying too. This does not make us weak compared to other people who get over their breakups quicker, because it is only ourselves who can really describe the effect it has had on us. This is what I was objecting to earlier, where people were saying "Oh I've been through worse and I got over it, so you should too" and "You're only young, that relationship means nothing to you", as if to basically suggest nobody but us knows how it affected us and how a breakup affects a person is entirely subjective to the individual. That is all I have been arguing for people to accept, because it is not a hard thing to accept. All it requires is to not be so narrow-minded and arrogant.

    With respect to your analogy, I'm not saying you are one of these people. In many ways the analogy is actually rather accurate, but it could do with a tweak so that it is not implying that people such as myself and Vizardlorde are over-reacting. I have got over my breakup. Like I said in an earlier post, I am on talking terms with my ex who betrayed me all those years ago. I have moved on but while we are still friends, I do reserve some disdain for what she put me through and how I feel about getting into relationships now. She herself has apologised to me for her part in me feeling like this, so even she can understand the effect the breakup had, and she doesn't think I am over-reacting. Betrayal by those you love and trust the most leaves deep psychological scars, and unless you've been through the same situation, you cannot understand the effect. As a friend I like her, and I am glad we are still able to talk to each other about things that usual friends do, but the difficulty I am having in forgiving her is still there. It is complicated, but it is entirely possible to be friends with somebody and yet not forgive them for how they have treated you in the past. She knows how she treated me has affected me and she understands it too, and yet we are still close as friends. This is how complicated breakups can make things.

    If anything, being wary of future relationships does not make us weaker, but wiser. Maybe before we would go headlong into relationships without thinking of the risks involved, but not any more. Now we have learnt from past experiences and are not going to get involved with somebody without being a lot more certain than before. It's called learning from mistakes through instinct. If we pick up a hot pan and drop it, we do not go and pick up the same pan five minutes later. We have learnt from that experience and how it hurts and are now more wary for next time, so as to prevent the same harm coming to us again. The emotional recovery from a breakup is no different.

  12. #832
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Tuskcat View Post
    this ugly guy has a fiance
    http://imgur.com/k7V8F
    three years they've been together
    if he can do it you can
    They are both fugly, female more so...

  13. #833
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheekin View Post
    They are both fugly, female more so...
    Point is, "every pot has it's lid"

  14. #834
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rickz View Post
    Point is, "every pot has it's lid"
    Indeed! when you're forever alone and desperate, you're going to eventually care less
    If your must have list is, " big breasts skinny body, long hair blonde, small feet,"
    one day it just might be " smaller breasts, can be curvy, hair doesent really matter, why did i ever care about feet"
    Maybe not for everyone! but also as you get older you care about certain things less. you dont need to have a stunning supermodel you see in your private movies
    you just want someone that looks decent to be with

  15. #835
    Legendary! Vizardlorde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waifu View Post
    Indeed! when you're forever alone and desperate, you're going to eventually care less
    If your must have list is, " big breasts skinny body, long hair blonde, small feet,"
    one day it just might be " smaller breasts, can be curvy, hair doesent really matter, why did i ever care about feet"
    Maybe not for everyone! but also as you get older you care about certain things less. you dont need to have a stunning supermodel you see in your private movies
    you just want someone that looks decent to be with
    My must have list for physical appearance has already deteriorated to pretty face and not fat.

  16. #836
    It's funny: If this topic existed a few years ago, I would have answered with the first option but being by yourself gets to you after almost six years. I'm more of a victim of situation rather than my own self-confidence. (though that has been a factor as well) I like to think I'm attractive, when I take the time to clean myself up (I tend to get very lazy when it comes to shaving) and being a geek is no longer something you hide out of fear of getting beat up. However, what makes it difficult for me is the aftermath of the divorce almost six years ago now. We had a child while still married, she leaves and eventually decides she wants child support despite promising me she would never go for it. (Also, please don't read this and assume I'm a deadbeat. I love my daughter and I'm very much a part of her life.) For those of you who have paid or are paying it now, you should be familiar with it. Long story short, my child support is high enough (especially when you add in my other bills and look up the cost of living for my area) that I am pretty much stuck to live with my parents until I get to the point where I'll be able to make enough to off-set it.

    That part I think is what gets me the most because the moment someone sees '27 year old who still lives with his parents' they're automatically brushed off as a loser. This sort of starts to nibble my self-confidence from time to time to the point where i start linking my appearance and personality to it. It feels odd but yet, strangely refreshing, to say this to a bunch of people online I've never met.

  17. #837
    Quote Originally Posted by SylvanaSlave View Post
    I respect the analogy and see where you are coming from but it implies that those among us who are taking longer than others to get over a breakup are making a big deal over nothing. Like I have said before, everybody has their own way of dealing with a breakup in their own time, and nobody has the right to reserve judgement over that person to tell them they are doing it wrong or are taking too long, or whatever. I'm not saying you are saying that, I am just clarifying my standpoint on this matter (again).

    I have never said, with respect to myself, that I have not got over my last breakup. What I am saying is that it has made me extremely wary of getting into future relationships in case it puts me through that emotional hell all over again, and it would seem this is what Vizardlorde has been saying too. This does not make us weak compared to other people who get over their breakups quicker, because it is only ourselves who can really describe the effect it has had on us. This is what I was objecting to earlier, where people were saying "Oh I've been through worse and I got over it, so you should too" and "You're only young, that relationship means nothing to you", as if to basically suggest nobody but us knows how it affected us and how a breakup affects a person is entirely subjective to the individual. That is all I have been arguing for people to accept, because it is not a hard thing to accept. All it requires is to not be so narrow-minded and arrogant.

    With respect to your analogy, I'm not saying you are one of these people. In many ways the analogy is actually rather accurate, but it could do with a tweak so that it is not implying that people such as myself and Vizardlorde are over-reacting. I have got over my breakup. Like I said in an earlier post, I am on talking terms with my ex who betrayed me all those years ago. I have moved on but while we are still friends, I do reserve some disdain for what she put me through and how I feel about getting into relationships now. She herself has apologised to me for her part in me feeling like this, so even she can understand the effect the breakup had, and she doesn't think I am over-reacting. Betrayal by those you love and trust the most leaves deep psychological scars, and unless you've been through the same situation, you cannot understand the effect. As a friend I like her, and I am glad we are still able to talk to each other about things that usual friends do, but the difficulty I am having in forgiving her is still there. It is complicated, but it is entirely possible to be friends with somebody and yet not forgive them for how they have treated you in the past. She knows how she treated me has affected me and she understands it too, and yet we are still close as friends. This is how complicated breakups can make things.

    If anything, being wary of future relationships does not make us weaker, but wiser. Maybe before we would go headlong into relationships without thinking of the risks involved, but not any more. Now we have learnt from past experiences and are not going to get involved with somebody without being a lot more certain than before. It's called learning from mistakes through instinct. If we pick up a hot pan and drop it, we do not go and pick up the same pan five minutes later. We have learnt from that experience and how it hurts and are now more wary for next time, so as to prevent the same harm coming to us again. The emotional recovery from a breakup is no different.
    See, you're still insisting that I (and others) were being arrogant; that's not the case. All we're saying is that you'll get over it. You will. You know this.

    And yet you seem to think I'm attacking you personally for how long it's taken you to get over it. Please, tell me where I said how long you were taking was an issue at all. All I was telling you is that your outlook in your previous posts is silly. You are that child crying over the balloon floating away, even though it's no longer in sight. There's no tweaking needed.

    You're being defensive over nothing, and it's making you seem like more of a child.

    More to the point of this post: you don't sound like you've actually moved on. In fact, you're probably hindering that process by continuing to be your ex's friend; in many cases, that's the absolute worst thing you can do. Nothing like having a constant reminder of the feelings you used to have. It's not even the person that you miss (I should hope not, anyway), but the fact that you're still associating with that person is going to keep those feeling fresh in your mind. Both the positive and the negative ones, neither of which help when you're trying to move on.

    Honestly, when it comes to exes, it's find to be friends with them; but it's usually best to wait until you've moved on to another girlfriend first. Trying to stay friends with your most recent ex is a great way to keep those wounds from healing.

  18. #838
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shagrat View Post
    It's funny: If this topic existed a few years ago, I would have answered with the first option but being by yourself gets to you after almost six years. I'm more of a victim of situation rather than my own self-confidence. (though that has been a factor as well) I like to think I'm attractive, when I take the time to clean myself up (I tend to get very lazy when it comes to shaving) and being a geek is no longer something you hide out of fear of getting beat up. However, what makes it difficult for me is the aftermath of the divorce almost six years ago now. We had a child while still married, she leaves and eventually decides she wants child support despite promising me she would never go for it. (Also, please don't read this and assume I'm a deadbeat. I love my daughter and I'm very much a part of her life.) For those of you who have paid or are paying it now, you should be familiar with it. Long story short, my child support is high enough (especially when you add in my other bills and look up the cost of living for my area) that I am pretty much stuck to live with my parents until I get to the point where I'll be able to make enough to off-set it.

    That part I think is what gets me the most because the moment someone sees '27 year old who still lives with his parents' they're automatically brushed off as a loser. This sort of starts to nibble my self-confidence from time to time to the point where i start linking my appearance and personality to it. It feels odd but yet, strangely refreshing, to say this to a bunch of people online I've never met.
    You have my sympathies man. Something really needs to be done about that child suppoet system IMO it's become dangerous to fathers.

    Also yeah living at home can really mess with your head these days. More common or not we still get judged regardless of reason(i have some personal issues mixed in with some other things that make it hard for me to hold a normal job). But yeah man my sympathies.

  19. #839
    Quote Originally Posted by SylvanaSlave View Post
    If anything, being wary of future relationships does not make us weaker, but wiser. Maybe before we would go headlong into relationships without thinking of the risks involved, but not any more. Now we have learnt from past experiences and are not going to get involved with somebody without being a lot more certain than before. It's called learning from mistakes through instinct. If we pick up a hot pan and drop it, we do not go and pick up the same pan five minutes later. We have learnt from that experience and how it hurts and are now more wary for next time, so as to prevent the same harm coming to us again. The emotional recovery from a breakup is no different.
    well, being wary is one thing, going "no one will ever love me! all girls are evil!" etc is another lol. (not saying you are like that). but i wouldnt reccomend keeping in touch with your ex if theres still bad feelings. its like picking at a scab.

  20. #840
    I was a Forever Alone until I turned 25. I'm almost 27 now, and married. I considered myself a social badass in high school and college, but it was all cuz I was scared. There were tons of women I was interested in and KNEW liked me, but yet I was the social badass in my mind, so I cant date you! It wasn't until I was really on my own that I realized. Being alone fucking sucks. So the next day I signed up on eHarmony and found my wife there. I used an online service because yes, I needed some help. I had confidence issues and loathed the idea that someone may just outright deny me. I am not a bad looking guy, I was in the military, I have a college degree, I have some achievements and what have but you aren't the king of every mountain. Life has been good for a while now, I have a good job in IT, my wife is a massage therapist (added bonus), and she allows me to have my own man cave, among other good things from being in a relationship (like double incomes, etc).

    As far as 'Forever Alone' goes. There isn't a recession in the realm of courtship that means you are shit out of luck getting a companion. They are out there and if you are wholeheartedly convinced that you are a going to be alone for the rest of your life, you are kidding and cheating yourself out of something that is great. Stop making excuses, youre wasting time. End of Story.

    Oh and dont try and be like a person who wants to sleep with 25-30 people in a few years, its not an achievement and wont get you anywhere you want to be when you are aged 35. Dont be a whore.
    Last edited by Stalemate; 2012-09-18 at 05:10 PM.

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