Could this even be called a disorder?

[femnul]

First of all I am not sure disorder. You can call it whatever you like maybe I am just a disturbed person.

The amount of times I have been called troll is probably about over 1000 times. Hold on mods, dont ban me yet. Please read the whole post mods before you accuse me of trolling, please.

For the first time I come clean.
I come across something today. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BC...en_by_Internet

And i was stunned that there is other people like me.

What I do is I make up a story on countless chat room, help rooms and forums and I feel sad when I write the story becouse I feel sorry for myself becouse I believe I experienced it.

Heres a few examples what I usualy make stories about.
I have been blind.
I have had cancer.
My mom's passed away countless times. Infact my whole family have pretty much passed away in my stories.
I have been abused.
My one true love passed away and I am on the urge to sucide.
I was left to live on the street when I was 15.
Drug addict.
Deppresed
Suicidal
OCD
The list goes on forever.


I dont know why I do this.
I dont feel like I am seeking attention even tho I might seem like an attention seeker.
Whenever I feel sad I go on the computer. Log on a chat room or a forum and write a very sad story and I seek comfort and help pretending to be very ill and sad.


I even use my skills in this to earn money in real life.
In my country you get help if your struggling with life in general
In real life I struggling with my sexuality and I cant bare living as a male when I feel like a female and extremly deppresed and cannot go on in life.
I have been lying to my therapist for three years about this disorder. Once a week
So by doing this I live on welfare and have a safe income.

Thing is I dont feel the slighest bad about what I am doing. I am so nice in real life when I see a spider on my wall I catch it, walk outside and release it becouse I dont want it to be hurt.
Its wierd


So theres something wrong with me most likely becouse I have been doing this for 8 years. It first started out when i started WoW. I felt to bad about leaving a guild when I was level 13 8 years ago so I lied and told everyone my mom passed away and had to stop playing and wished everyone good luck.
And from there on it just exploded

I will give you an example of a story that I will make up while typing this so you can see what its like on a everyday basis for me.

I grew up in a religious family and in my family religion was the number 1 priority in life.
But I never felt like I fit in and never believed in it and always believed my family and friends were brainwashed by this religion.
But there was a problem.
In my religion you are told to have as little contact with the outside world as possible becouse other people will question your belief and affect your relationship with god.

So when a family member decides to leave the organisation. The family are told to have as little as possible contact with the ''outsider''. Only to be contacted in emergancy situations.

So I had to chose. Live a life with my family being stuck in a religion I did not believe in OR i could leave the religion, be a free man but I would lose my family and friends that were inside the organisation.


So I left. I did not think my family would cut me out becouse i was their son. Nobody would do that but they did.
They believed I was a bad influence becouse I did not believe in their religion anymore and they were told by elders to cut contact with me so they did.
So there I was. 18 years old living on the street and was just abonded my family and friends.

I will skip to the end becouse I dont feel like writing it when you know its not true.

Going to sum it up in a few words and this is how it would have ended most likely.
Got involed into drugs, steroids. Was a user for 10 years and today my body and mental health is completly ruined and I am disabled for life, lost the ability to have kids, lost my leg and arm due to an infection after injecting. I see a picture of myself in the hall of fame at the gym. I used to be number 1, now I am in a wheelchair and disabled for life blabla

So I have a problem. Just felt like sharing.

[Deleted]

So you come to this forum and continue the same behavior?

I was going to sleep when I was 10 or so and when my mom came to say goodnight she saw my fleshlight. I forgot to hide it.

I won't believe a word you say, not even this thread. What some people call trolling, I call being an asshole.

[femnul]

So you come to this forum and continue the same behavior?



I won't believe a word you say, not even this thread. What some people call trolling, I call being an asshole.

I replied randomly to a thread to get 10 posts so I could PM. check the other random replies :-)

[Deleted]

I'm sorry but if your purpose with your threads it to seek attention, you really need help or just stop making threads.

Closed.